


Little Gifts

by Linane



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst, Durincest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fairies, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-03-09 17:38:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 83,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3258563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linane/pseuds/Linane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fairies AU, where Bilbo's garden gets invaded by the little fairy folk of the familiar dwarvish variety. :)</p><p>It was meant to be my BOFA-survival material so a lot of it is pointless fluff, there’s a lot of H/C, some angst, but always resolved. It will be going up as vignettes, usually out of order and jumping through timeline so it can be read as collection of one-shots within the same universe (although some stories are in several parts).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Hobbit Meets a Fairy

Bilbo Baggins was never convinced by all those doting ladies who claimed children were the world’s little rays of sunshine. “Little angels” they called them, and Bilbo wondered if they were blind, or deaf, or both.

To him children were primarily a constant source of horrific noise and movement, little destroyers of clean fabrics, floors, plates; clean anything, really. They could not be trusted to be around anything of value or importance and they most certainly could not be trusted around Bag End.

A point which was just now being demonstrated by the presence of two adolescent Hobbits playing around in the bushes just outside his front gate.

“Ewww! It’s moving!” one was screeching.

“You kicked its nest! There will be hundreds of them in a minute!” The other one was saying in a voice that heralded to the world that its owner would always believe himself to know _everything_.

“It’s crawling away! Catch it, catch it!!”

Bilbo cleared his throat. Loudly. His arctic leaf bush had been trampled all over and Bilbo was Not Impressed.

Not that Bilbo expected them to react, he was somehow missing the special skill that made small children hop to with no more than a look.

Granted, the little rascals did catch on pretty quickly, once Bilbo started tapping his slippered foot loudly in the wet snow. They were gone within moments, screeching some more.

Bilbo gave an exasperated sigh and leaned down to see if the bush would need snipping so it could recover in the spring, when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. Slowly, like somebody who isn’t entirely sure they _want_ to know, he turned around to peer at the little creature that had caused so much commotion.

He was expecting a rat. A mouse perhaps, a squirrel, even a rabbit. He was not expecting this, this, this – little _person_.

It was just sluggishly trying to dig itself out of the pile of snow by the gate pillar, which, it seemed, it had been kicked into. The little fellow shook the snow out of his braided hair, movements slow and tired-looking, groaned as it tentatively moved its – Bilbo did a double take - its wings and started looking around for something it had clearly lost.

Bilbo rubbed his eyes, but it was still there when he opened them again. He pinched himself – definitely real – while the creature finally found its hat, yawned hugely, muttered something under its breath and pulled it firmly onto its head.

Perhaps if he didn’t acknowledge it, it wouldn’t acknowledge him and they could both merrily go about their own business like they used to. Instead he peered under the bush and found a fascinating nest-like construction covered by the smallest threadbare blanked he’d ever seen. 

Yep. There were mini-people living under his bushes.

A thought struck him – were there more?! His mind helpfully supplied an image of a whole hoard of mini-people leading an uprising, taking over Bag End and exiling him from his family home forever. It had looked harmless enough and kind of sleepy, but who knew what a bunch of them could be capable of.

He rounded on the little creature. It had, despite any hopes to the contrary, stubbornly remained firmly in the realm of reality, and, worse yet, had broken their unspoken agreement and Noticed Him, eyes wide, expression guarded and looking nervously from him to its nest and back.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t be real.” Bilbo announced sternly, immediately finding his own words rather rude.

The little fellow gasped and tried to fly away, landing in a heap two feet down the path.

Bilbo moved closer, in equal measure intrigued, concerned and disturbed. He’s heard of the Little Folk, of course he had, who hadn’t, but he never once considered the children’s stories to be real, not even as a wee lad himself.

But here, right in front of him, one was backing away frantically, limbs uncoordinated, eyes panicked.

“You _are_ real, aren’t you?” Bilbo asked accusingly. His new friend seemed to have lost his hat once again and Bilbo automatically reached out to pick it up carefully, marvelling at the tiny garment.

The creature shook its head in a very real way, snatched his hat away from his finger, pointed dramatically at the sky and proceeded to fall motionlessly back into the snow. It lay perfectly still for a moment, clutching his hat in his hands, only his eyes followed Bilbo’s every move.

“I can see your chest rising and falling, you know.” Bilbo offered, just as a shudder ran through the little form.

The little thing looked troubled at that and scrambled back up, attempting to back away slowly. It fell over within moments, weighed down by its own drenched wings.

Bilbo winced. “Come on, scamper. Disappear. Aren’t you lot meant to be invisible?”

The – The _fairy_ looked unsure.

“You’re not going away, are you? You can’t.”

Its gaze flickered to its nest once again, then back to him and Bilbo realised that this was its home.

He considered how the little fellow must have felt. The children had damaged his nest, he was cornered by a giant, and he couldn’t escape.

Feeling somewhat responsible for the poor thing’s ordeal, Bilbo reached inside his robe and carefully leaned forward to add his handkerchief to its nest, in some sort of recompense, when something in the nest viciously bit him. 

He yelped, automatically rubbing his injured limb and with mounting shock observed another little creature emerge from under the covers, and was that a- a claw sticking out of its forehead?! Was it undead?!

It certainly looked much more intimidating than the other, a spear in his hand, shouting out (or more like squeaking out) an angry sounding stream of curses in its own unknown language.

That was about all poor Bilbo’s heart could take. With a cry of his own he ran for the safety of his front door, ignoring the two baffled little fairies, determined to find some brandy that could, in the days to come, be held accountable for his visions.

His household was clearly under attack! Under attack from the vicious, little fairy folk, who kind of fell over a lot, it seemed.


	2. Harsh Winters, Kind Strangers - Part 1

It was cold. 

Fili felt chilled to the bone as he slowly blinked himself awake, listening to the howling wind outside. His first instinct was to pull Kili closer and he followed it on auto pilot, shivering a little when an icy gust of wind tried to find its way among their tightly packed bedding. Kili felt warm and their combined body heat dispelled the cold, making it bearable, but any fluff that wasn’t in direct contact with their limbs felt icy, so they tried not to move too much. 

He rubbed his palms vigorously over Kili’s shoulders and between his wings, trying to both lend him some warmth and wake him up; and sure enough, a moment later his brother groaned, threw one leg over both of his and pressed his face into the crook of Fili’s neck. 

Fili smiled. This was what made the long winter months worth it.

“You awake, brother?” He reached to run his fingers through Kili’s hair and got another groan in response. 

In the spring Kili would be the very first fairy to want to fly around and check on their garden, hyperactive and eager to get started on things, even when it still drizzled unpleasantly and there was a chill in the air that kept any sensible fairy well burrowed into their nest. In the autumn he would fidget forever, reorganise and re-stuff their nest several times (sometimes literally around Fili, while he napped), before he was satisfied and would spend long hours moping around, complaining that the summer had ended too soon. But in the winter Kili was, for all intense and purposes, dead to the world. 

“I’m going to get us some snacks, yeah?” He tried to sit up, which wasn’t easy when you had a weight similar to your own with far too many arms and legs draped artistically all over you. 

“Nooo –“ Kili whined. “You’re warm. Don’t go.” 

Fili’s grin was stuck somewhere between affectionate and smug when he playfully slapped his brother’s bottom, making him arch deliciously into the curve of his hip. “Fine. You go, and I’ll keep the bed warm.”

This earned him a nip to his ear and a huff, before Kili helpfully rolled off him to curl up on his other side. 

“I’ve been yesterday. It’s your turn.”

“Is not! You probably don’t even remember yesterday!”

In truth it had been Fili’s turn yesterday and the day before and probably the rest of the week. He didn’t mind nearly as much as his protests suggested. Their pantry was directly next to their nest – a cavern made out of stone and earth, made watertight with clay baked dry. Fili only needed to push away the fluff and a thin blanket they used for cover (most of it ended piled up on top of Kili, who shivered nevertheless), climb over the edge of the twig-woven fencing, open the wooden door and get down the ladder they’d secured in place. 

The world outside was grim. It had been snowing on and off for the past week and it really was cold in the dull white, lifeless world. Fili had hoped for some sun that would melt the snow, but it had been icy and dry almost constantly. 

He considered snatching the blanket to wrap himself in on his way, but a quiet sound from underneath it stopped him. So instead he wrapped his arms around himself, his wings trembling in the wind, and dived into their storage to find at least some sort of shelter.

It was icy inside. The whole mound had been frozen solid for a few days now and Fili used some of the energy he didn’t feel he had to fly around, careful to keep his limbs well away from the walls and the floor. 

It took some strong will to keep the panic at bay. It was only November and they have already gone through almost half of the supplies they’d gathered. It wasn’t a very good autumn – the constant rain giving them only narrow windows in which they could go out and harvest - and the winter was quickly shaping up to be the worst Fili could remember. 

He grabbed some nuts and sunflower seeds, a little bundle of smoked fish wrapped up in juniper leaves, a few carrot chips, and several dried blueberries (Kili’s favourite). It would have to do until tomorrow.

When he made it to the surface again the snow had just started anew, little ice crystals twirling around in sharp gusts of wind. For the first time it occurred to him that not all of the fairies would make it to spring. 

Kili had to be one of those that did. 

Not that his brother was aware of the danger they were in. He looked adorable with his hair sticking at odd angles, covered in bits of fluff that clung to him and chewing lethargically on a carrot chip.

“Here, have some of the fish – it’s nice.” Kili offered, sniffing the contents of the little bundle.

“No thanks. I’ve eaten already.” Fili returned, giving him his kindest smile and pulling him close to lend him some of his own body warmth.

\--------------------------------------------

Fairy wings were their most prized possession. Important for movement, mating, protection and work, but most importantly offering them freedom often valued more precious than life itself. 

It was understandable therefore that when little Kili buried his fingers in the fluff surrounding Fili’s wings at the base for the first time, their parents panicked a bit, worried that he might want to pull at them or unintentionally injure the delicate limbs. 

But Kili never did. 

He stroked, searched the contour of Fili’s back, mapped the powerful cords of his muscles running from his spine through the fragile membranes and reverently traced the fuzzy edges. The action seemed to calm him, his face buried in the crook of Fili’s neck and before long they would both be curled around each other, nodding off, while Kili’s fingers moved on auto pilot. 

The trust was absolute – no matter how badly they argued or fought, or how passionately they twisted together – Kili would never ever hurt his wings, never even caused any discomfort.

And Fili – although he’d deny it until his dying breath – learned to accept and relax under Kili’s ministrations, loving the closeness required and the hidden power those fingers held over him but never acted upon.

He felt a shudder run through his entire body when Kili dug his fingers _just right_ , a shade shy of ‘too much’ and gasped when it was finally enough to pull him awake from his uneasy dreams. It was getting harder and harder to wake up – he noted distantly. 

The hunger and cold slammed into him almost instantly. He bit his lip to stop any sound from escaping him and reached to check his brother’s temperature. Kili felt chill and Fili frowned, thinking that he needed to eat something nutritious and that they needed to burrow in deeper. A quick press of his arm through their bedding revealed that this wasn’t an option they had anymore – the fluff was genuinely frozen stiff at arm’s depth. 

It felt terrifyingly like the noose was closing around their necks and Fili looked at his sleeping brother feeling utterly helpless. It was a bit of a battle to even sit up, the world swimming dangerously before his eyes, but he managed. 

It had been nearly two weeks. He had very little hope for himself – unless the sun was to melt the snow and spring arrive early this year – one day he would just fall asleep and it would be over. 

But Kili should be fine. So long as he managed to wake up regularly and keep himself warm he would be okay – he thought, collecting a few things from the shelves they set up in their pantry, steel determination of a Durin lending him strength to stay upright on the icy floor. There would be heartbreak, yes, and tears, and it couldn’t be very nice waking up next to a corpse, but ultimately Kili would be alive to feel all those things.

That was all that mattered.

“Kili? Kili, wake up.” He insisted, shaking the other awake.

It took some doing, but eventually Kili yawned, stretched and winced, as his wings came in contact with the cold fluff.

“You okay? You look like shit.” His brother announced charitably, before swallowing half a dried strawberry in one go and licking his fingers. “You should eat something. Here.”

Before Fili had any chance to react, Kili was right there, pressing his lips to his, tongue finding its way inside him with familiar ease. The rich, sweet flavour of his favourite fruit exploded across Fili’s mouth and he moaned desperately, arms pulling Kili down and deeper without a conscious decision to do so. 

They landed in a heap with Kili flush on top of him and he couldn’t stop chasing the taste, drinking his brother down until there was nothing left. It was in equal measure agony and ecstasy to be reminded what he’d been depriving himself for so long, the sweet nectar, the taste of _Kili_ and heady summers underneath it all.

“Shhh…” Kili looked him deep in the eye, misinterpreting the need and the wild look. “Soon it will be spring and I will give you what you need, brother. Soon you can have me, however you like, Fili,” he whispered sinfully in his ear, leaning closer, his chest and thighs radiating raw heat against Fili’s chilled skin. 

Kili fell asleep like this, barely covered by the fluff, feeling safe and content, while Fili slowly breathed himself through that thing that was binding his chest in an iron grip.


	3. Harsh Winters, Kind Strangers - Part 2

The next time he woke up it must have been a few days and the hunger dulled to a throbbing pain in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t feel his feet or his fingers and the first thing that registered was the fact that he was propped up against Kili’s chest.

“Fili! Fili please, we have to run!” His brother was shaking him violently and he must have slapped him a few times as well because one side of his face felt tender. 

“Uh…?”

“Fili! What have you done?! Come on, wake up!!”

He took in the arms squeezing him almost too tight and the way Kili seemed to be bodily dragging him away, his face dark as a spring cloud, eyes promising death and pain to anyone who came near. 

Kili was terrified. 

Adrenaline kicked in within seconds. His eyes scanned for a weapon long before he’d had a chance to face whatever was threatening his brother. There was nothing within his reach but he pressed himself forward, shielding Kili with his body. 

“Get behind me, find me a weapon!”

When his eyes finally focussed on the thing threatening them Fili realised that no weapon they could get their hands on could help them now. 

Kili was right. They had to run, which amounted to a certain death among the snowy desert. But they had to try. 

***

At first Bilbo Baggins did not believe his senses. He very nearly managed to talk himself into believing that everything he’d seen had just been a hallucination and it was only when he returned to take another look at his bush of arctic leaf (just to check its condition – he told himself, just to be 100% certain) that he finally accepted the truth.

His garden, it seemed, harboured the fairy folk. 

Bilbo had no idea what he’d done to deserve such a thing (he supposed it was a rather excellent garden, if he said so himself), but they did say that the fairies were meant to be a sign of good luck. He just hoped that the swarm of the little feisty creatures, sure to descend upon his garden in a few short months (when they hatched – did fairies hatch? Bilbo couldn’t remember but he thought they hatched) didn’t eat their way through it.

A swarm. 

He’d taken some time (and a fair amount of the longbottom leaf) to ponder exactly how many there were. Each time, sooner or later, he arrived at the same alarming conclusion – he doubted the nest under the arctic leaf bush was the only one. 

And then there were practicalities. 

Replaying the meeting with the unfortunate fairy in his mind, it occurred to him that he might not meet any more of them after all. The winter had hit Hobbiton particularly hard that year and, judging by how the little fellow shivered in the snow and how his wet wings immobilised him, Bilbo supposed they weren’t prepared very well for such conditions. 

Did fairies have nice warm homes under all that strange white stuff? Did they have fireplaces in them? If yes, where exactly did the smoke escape and why hadn’t he spotted them sooner? – these were the sort of questions that troubled the hobbit.

It figured then that a mere three days later the weak afternoon sun found Bilbo (this time dressed appropriately for the weather and armed in his thickest gloves) checking through all the possible nooks and crannies of his garden.

The nest under the low branches of his old oak was the next one he managed to find. And this time he was delighted to find its inhabitants curled up close together, deeply asleep. The little creatures looked harmless like this, revealed when the soft white stuff was pushed aside, fascinating him with their delicate, moth-like wings and small size. 

Bilbo found that he wanted to know more about them. Where did they come from? Was it normal for them to spend the winter in basket-like constructions, filled with what appeared to be poplar fluff? Did they speak? What were they like? 

It was a very dangerous instinct for a Hobbit – he noted distantly, reaching inside to touch one of them. 

The fairy stirred slowly and pulled the other one flush to his chest, shivering a little and nuzzling his faze into the other’s hair. Only when Bilbo dared to touch his wings did his eyes fly wide open. 

***

“Get off! Leave us alone!” Kili managed to wriggle one of the twigs supporting the structure of their nest loose and flung himself at the giant in front of them. 

In absolute terror Fili watched him get snatched from mid-air and held tight by one huge hand.

Kili cried out, but stabbed viciously at the fingers the size of his thighs, which had about the same effect as trying to cut a river in half with a sword.

“NO!!” 

It took every ounce of the energy Fili had left to even force his wings into flight, but he was in the air before he could think what he was doing. 

“Run Kili, run!! When he lets you go, just run!!”

He snatched the stick and went straight for the eyes. He managed to get the Big One to flinch, but was also caught before his improvised weapon could find its mark. 

“Run!” He screamed again, struggling and ignoring his own discomfort at having the bottom edges of his wings rub unpleasantly against his captor’s glove. He could already see that Kili had chosen to fight though – his brother was currently sinking his teeth into the hand that bound him. 

***

“You speak,” Bilbo stared in shock, inspecting the golden haired little creature more closely. It was quiet, granted, but it was common tongue and he’d never expected to be able to hold a conversation with the fairy folk.

By now Bilbo just felt conflicted. He found his own intrusion to their little dwelling rather rude – a moment of curiosity had led to him having two very much awake and very much upset fairy folk quite literally on his hands.

He wondered if he could just put them back, re-cover them with the white stuff and pretend that none of this had ever happened. He didn’t think he could get away with that.

At first he found them rather sweet. Tucked up close and snoring softly, they didn’t seem to be the kind of vicious, mischievous fairies he had half-expected them to be. 

It was only up close that he could see the damage: both were shivering and a little more than pale, clutching at each other for dear life, the kind of grim determination on their faces that said that they had only their lives left to lose.

It wasn’t right. 

He lifted the dark haired one closer, turning him around (it felt funny to hold something squirming so furiously) to study his dark wings for a long while, before the blonde one spoke again.

***

“Not him. Don’t hurt him.”

Their captor instantly transferred his gaze onto Fili and his breath caught in his throat. What could he do, really, against such strength and size, except plead? Fili was a brave fairy and would fight to the death to protect his brother, but it was painfully obvious exactly how little chance they stood this time. The giant could do anything he liked with them and Fili wouldn’t be able to stop him.

The thought terrified him.

The tales of old warned against getting seen or caught by the Big Folk. But to Fili up until now the Hobbits had been a big and slightly clumsy, mobile parts of the scenery. They went about their business and lived in their unobtrusive little holes, while the fairies stuck to their trees and plants. One of those dangers that one learned to ignore. 

Until now. 

“Pardon?”

“Don’t hurt him. He’s my brother. Please. We won’t be any trouble, I swear.” 

He could feel his voice trembling, teeth chattering, in part from cold, in part from the visceral fear for Kili’s life and in part because he could barely keep his eyes open, his entire system shutting down, functioning purely on instinct. He hated how weak he sounded. 

“Sorry, only you’re not very loud.” The Hobbit seemed troubled but this, but he looked to Kili’s wings again, distracted by his curses and squirming. 

“NOT HIM!” Fili cried, eyes widening when Kili was moved closer to the hobbit’s face again. “Take my wings if you must! Not his! Don’t you dare touch my brother!”

“Fili!!” 

So the stories were true. 

The children of the Big Folk tearing off the delicate fairy wings, just for their vibrant colours and because they didn’t understand that they were hurting an innocent creature, that the wings wouldn’t ‘grow back’ or that they weren’t ‘fixing’ the little person. 

It took approximately fifteen minutes for a fairy whose wings had been torn off to die, he’d heard somebody say once; it took much, much longer if somehow you were rescued and got to spend the rest of your days chained to the ground.

He remembered it now, when he offered to take the fate that awaited Kili, without even knowing if it would make any difference, or if the Hobbit would torture Kili next, when Fili couldn’t stop him anymore. 

He’d always offer. This was how Mahal had forged him and Fili didn’t know any other way.

Fili curled up in on himself, arms automatically reaching for his shoulders, and focused on his breathing, trying to work through the panic, forcing himself to stay conscious a little longer. After all – what fun was prey that didn’t struggle? He felt so tired. He just wished it was over. 

“Take my wings.” He repeated sternly, and this time his voice didn’t tremble, even as Kili grew frantic, alternating between desperate violence, curses and pleas. 

The Hobbit just stared at him in shock, which was perhaps worse, being so much a centre of attention, and Fili hated the fear the overwhelming sense of helplessness growing inside him.

“Come on. What are you waiting for?” He grit through his teeth, because his heart told him it was the right thing to do – attract attention, keep him away from Kili – before his last sparks of energy burned out and everything went completely, terrifyingly black.


	4. Harsh Winters, Kind Strangers - Part 3

It took him the rest of the afternoon (and several shots of brandy) to recover from the horrible ordeal. But no amount of alcohol could wash away the taste of shame in his mouth. 

The fear had been absolute. They thought that he was going to hurt them, that he was going to rip –

Bilbo couldn’t even make himself think about it. The idea that somebody in the past might have done something so cruel to those beautiful and fiercely protective creatures made him sick.

He’d gone out there, no better than the spoiled brats that irritated him so much not so long ago, he disturbed their sleep and terrified them to the point where one of them fainted. 

Bilbo considered if fairies, when offended, could actually cause _bad_ luck and decided that he didn’t want to learn. He was a practical hobbit, he didn’t need any trouble in his own house.

“This is not how you treat your guests, Bilbo Baggins.” He told himself sternly (the voice in his head sounding suspiciously like his mother), an idea forming in his mind. 

He had read somewhere that the best thing for a victim of a spell of dizziness was to allow them to stretch out on a flat surface and lift their legs up to allow the blood to return to the head. So he’d put the little golden fairy back into their bed, even elevated his legs on some of the – the miniature pillows, when the other one had finally managed to free himself. 

The look in the tear-filled eyes as he pulled his brother’s head to his chest, kissed it, touched it and desperately tried to get him to move, was mad with grief and hatred. In the eyes of the dark haired one, Bilbo had killed the fairy. 

He wanted to make sure that he hadn’t. 

He couldn’t face those eyes, accusing him.

So Bilbo bravely fled.

This was also why he could now be found inside his bedroom, his thickest blanket being cut without remorse, next to some items collected from the pantry, ready to come to the little folk’s rescue. 

***

Kili was beside himself with worry. When did Fili grow so horribly thin? When did he stop waking up regularly? Why wasn’t he waking now? Was he ever going to wake up again?

How long had this been going on?

Why hadn’t he _noticed_?!

Kili wrapped himself even tighter around the chilled body, palms frantically trying to rub some warmth into Fili, lips searching his face. 

He was so cold – _too_ cold. Kili hated it, he needed him to eat something, but for that he needed Fili awake. Kili was still shaking with the memory of his brother offering his wings – a mixture of shock, fear and fury turning the blood in his veins into ice.

“Please, Fili. Please, wake up.” He prayed into his brother’s hair one more time, slowly feeling himself slip into the realm of dreams once again, despite his best efforts to keep his eyes open. 

He didn’t hear the sounds of thread attaching a narrow strip of a blanket to the skeleton of their nest or tying it off like a cover over the top of it. He didn’t react when food was placed on top of their pantry, or as they were both lifted together with their whole bedding to allow Bilbo to slip a hot stone straight from the hearth under the fluff. 

Only his dreams were filled with images of sun-kissed rocks and the merciful spring smelling of life, hanging heavy in the air. 

*** 

“Fili. Fili! Fili, please!!” 

His heart called out to him and a lifetime of _listening_ made his eyes flutter open.

“Kili,” he managed, one hand rising to cup his brother’s cheek and offer at least some form of comfort.

“Oh thank Mahal! I need you to eat. I need you stay with me!” 

There were tears sliding along the side of his thumb and Fili frowned, closing his eyes, just for a moment, just to rest a little.

“I love you.” He said, because it felt like he had to say it right now, and drifted off to the feeling of something hot and tasting of chicken sliding down his throat, excess dribbling from the corner of his mouth.

***

When Fili woke up again it was like emerging from a tomb. 

He felt wonderfully warm - it’s been months since he felt this comfortable. His head was pillowed in Kili’s arms and his brother was stroking his hair, murmuring something that sounded like a prayer. 

Some unknown instinct made his hands move to check Kili’s wings.

Still attached.

That was okay then. 

His dreams had been full of fear and crushing helplessness. He was just one soul, determined to keep his One safe in a world that was way, way too big for them. 

Waking up was like drifting into a safe and gentle shallow after the breakneck currents of a mountain creek.

Waking up meant hope. 

“Thank Mahal.” He heard Kili in the darkness a split second before his lips were covered by Kili’s. 

He tried to respond, tried to pull him closer, but his body just wouldn’t listen to him. He didn’t really have a choice when Kili propped him up against some pillows and the crook of his arm and held something yellow, creamy and incredibly rich in taste (albeit be it a strange new taste that he’d never tried before) against his lips.

“Please Fili. Please. Just eat it. You need it. And I need you to be safe again.” Kili pleaded somewhere close and Fili made himself bite, chew and swallow. The hollow burn in his gut was painful, but each bite was helping combat it. 

Some hazy thought whispered at him to stop. Made him think that he was only prolonging his own inevitable agony, because there simply wasn’t enough food for the both of them to survive the winter. 

But Kili had asked him to eat. 

He didn’t really have a choice in this either.

***

“Come oooon you idiot, wake up! Come on Fee. Come on!”

It was warm. Really warm, in that deeply satisfying way that made you want to stretch out and roll around a little. This felt… nice, even despite the constant jostling of the palms trying to prod him into wakefulness.

“Come on, you’re meant to be the responsible one! Wake up! I need you to eat!”

It was also very dark. Had to be the middle of the night. Why wasn’t Kili asleep?

Fili frowned. Something wasn’t right. 

“Fili please. If you love me, please open your eyes.” His voice took on the edge of despair, which Fili didn’t like. And then “I don’t know what to do,” uttered in such a voice so small that it had no business coming from Kili.

But why was it so very dark? His eyes were barely open a crack and he really, really wanted to go back to sleep, but Kili was being a brat and not letting him. Stupid little brother. 

“Mahal, please. I just don’t want to be left all alone.”

He finally managed to get his arms to cooperate and wrap themselves around Kili’s neck. His brother was upset and no matter how tired Fili felt, he wasn’t having any of this. 

He had been there for him all his life and he wasn’t going to stop now.

“That’s it!!” Came an excited whisper. “Come on you useless plank of wood, wake up! Look at me Fili, look at me!”

Hands on either side of his face made him focus on the younger and he blinked owlishly, trying to figure out the thing niggling at him at the back of his mind. He was sat upright, mostly under his own power, Kili’s worried and hovering face filling most of his view. 

“S’ hot.” He observed intelligently, thinking that the sense of unease could have something to do with Kili’s wings. 

“Yes, we have heating of sorts now. He’s put a hot stone under our nest.” Kili smiled at him and it felt like everything was going to be okay for the first time in a very long while. “Now eat this,” his brother insisted, practically shoving something sweet smelling in his mouth. 

Fili chewed apathically, noting that it tasted nice, and happily reaching to take the next piece which Kili pressed into his hands. There was a strawberry in this bit and Fili moaned his approval, couldn’t help himself. 

When did he grow so hungry?

The memories slammed back into him all at once. 

“No! You must leave it for later! Otherwise you’ll not survive winter!”

“Aha.” Low, dangerous. “Like you were planning not to?”

“Look – I couldn’t… There wasn’t enough for both of us. I had to make a choice. I couldn’t stand the thought that I’d have to watch you –“

“So _you_ made that choice. You didn’t think to ask me, or consider how I’d feel if you’d -. You thought it was okay to leave me behind.”

“I…”

“Just like _you_ made a choice when the Hobbit caught us.” Kili’s eyes were full of lightening and furious little sparks of betrayal and hurt. He wasn’t going to be interrupted. “You offered your _wings_ , Fili! In place of mine! Never mind that he wasn’t interested in taking them, it could be someone else who _would_ and I’d have to watch –“

His voice finally cracked and Kili covered his mouth with his hand, trembling.

“I just wanted you to live.” His own voice sounded quiet and small by comparison. “I never meant to hurt you. Are your wings –“

“They’re fine. Eat your strawberry thing,” His brother cut him off, not quite done, but not quite ready to lay bare what had upset him so much. 

Fili didn’t push, carefully shelving the rest of that conversation for later, trying to gather his scattered thoughts into a coherent explanation and finding it difficult. He obeyed, taking another bite and having a proper look around him. 

“Why is it so dark in here? Why is it so hot?” Little alarm bells went off in the back of his mind. “Are we – are we trapped?!”

“No.” Kili sighed. “The Big Chap, he’s been, ah… He’s been kind to us. He’s wrapped the nest in the thickest kind of blanket I’ve ever seen. It goes right over the supporting arch and there is a slit cut into it so we can slip in and out without losing the warmth. It’s rather clever in its simplicity, and I think we should keep the covers for next year. I’m not sure what they’re made out of, but they offer excellent protection from the wind.”

Fili didn’t argue this time, when Kili passed him something elongated in shape and made out of meat. It took both his hands to even hold it in place and he sniffed at it, trying to decide what kind of animal it came from. 

In the end couldn’t tell. 

“It’s nice,” Kili offered. “I had one earlier.”

He bit a piece off, fighting the drowsiness and trying to focus on the taste. Kili was right. It was smoked and full of flavour, spiced up with marjoram, among other herbs and wonderfully fatty. Fili closed his eyes in appreciation and hummed happily. He never expected to eat something this nice, least of all at the time when he thought all hope had been lost. 

“He… leaves things on top of the pantry. Usually two or three different foodstuffs, like he isn’t sure what we’d like. Sometimes they’re still hot – that first day there was a chicken soup. A hot soup, Fili!” His brother’s movements became animated and Fili felt content just watching him talk and explain things, while he ate his… meaty thing. “Sometimes I’m woken by the disturbance to the bedding when he replaces the hot stone under us with a new one. Sometimes he taps the basket when he’s been, which is usually enough to wake me up.” 

“You shouldn’t just – take his food.” Fili observed, even though they were in no position to refuse it. He licked the last morsels of taste off his fingers and felt quite ready now to curl back up in Kili’s arms and sleep.

“I haven’t. We’ve been trading.” Kili smiled again, this time tired-looking, and yawned. “I leave him a pretty stone from our stash, or some of the wood carvings we’ve done in the autumn. He seems content with that. They disappear and in their place there is food.”

Fili stretched, enjoying the way his muscles uncoiled in his arms, legs and wings, making them tremble a little behind him, and he was reminded of how close he came to losing them. If it had been any other Hobbit –

“But why would he help us?” He wondered out loud, making himself comfortable in the fluff. “We’re intruders in his lands. We don’t belong here any more than we belong in the dark and unfamiliar forests. What does he want from us?”

Kili’s arms around him were as welcome as they were familiar and Fili felt himself relaxing while Kili fussed, until completely satisfied and burrowed under the covers all the way up to his ears.

“I don’t know,” his brother admitted. “All I know is: he could have killed us with a flick of his fingers and he didn’t. Whatever it is about this Hobbit that is different, this one cares. Every day when he brings us food and helps keep us warm he saves our lives. And for that alone he has a friend in me, whatever happens in the spring.”

Fili felt conflicted about this, even if Kili was quick to trust this stranger. His entire life he’d been told to avoid the Big Folk and never ever trust them. Even as children, they were told stories of cruel giants that hunted down fairies who have never been seen or heard from again. 

But at the same time Fili was capable of drawing his own conclusions about the world, irrespective of the folklore of their people, and was enough of a dwarf to admit when he was wrong. The Hobbit hadn’t done anything to earn their distrust, except for invading their home, which could have been incidental. Fili would be cautious approaching any of the Others, but perhaps their host was different after all. 

He felt a little flicker of hope bloom in his heart – they needed friends in this world, especially now that Erebor was lost. And maybe, just maybe, they could have a home again.

“Fili?”

“Hmmm…?”

“I need you to listen to what I’m about to say and remember it. For good.” Kili paused, giving him a chance to speak, but Fili had no words to justify his heart’s decisions. “I was angry that you chose to sacrifice your life for me twice in the last week. But I was really hurt that you had done so without asking me, or considering how I’d feel. Fili, you hold half of my _soul_. You are my One. And I would rather die a dozen times than see you hurt. This is as much my decision as it is yours and you took that away from me. Don’t ever do that again.”

Fili felt the gentle squeeze of the arms around him, felt the heartbeat against his folded wings and considered, for the first time in his life, if he could carry on if these things were taken away from him. 

It hurt to even think about it.

Slowly, with each breath against his skin, it burned into him: whatever fate awaited them, they would both share it. 

“No. I won’t.” He whispered eventually, and that hurt too, but love dictated respect in all things and Fili _loved_ ; loved, insanely, absolutely, completely.

He could never have answered any differently.

“Thank you.” 

A kiss to his shoulder barely registered among the hazy thoughts of Kili’s skin, the bright and fresh feeling of spring, the easy laughter, the flickering lights of the Festival and a sense of belonging above all else.


	5. Harsh Winters, Kind Strangers - Part 4

Kili was woken up by a snowflake landing on his shoulder through the small gap in their nest cover he’d left open for ventilation. He lazily swiped the moisture off his skin, blinked a few times in confusion and looked to his brother.

There was finally a healthy glow to Fili’s skin again, even a faint blush around his cheeks. 

It had been four days. 

Four horrible days Fili had survived only thanks to the gentle warmth radiating constantly from under their fluffy bedding and Kili sharing his own body heat with him. They were incredibly lucky - if not for the drastic change in their circumstances they wouldn’t have stood a chance.

Warmth wasn’t the only thing that allowed Fili’s body to tiptoe back from the brink – food was equally precious. Kili rarely knew what it was exactly that he was eating these days, but it tasted good and felt very nutritious, full of fat and sugar, doing wonders for both starving fairies.

He’d been so scared that first day, kept himself awake with sheer panic for as long as he could, but eventually nature took over. It was winter, and that meant sleeping and conserving energy, with no regard for what his heart wanted. 

He thought – he thought Fili wouldn’t wake up again, recognised with terrifying clarity the symptoms: the slow heartbeat and the perfect stillness of his limbs – a fairy whose own body couldn’t keep itself warm enough to function, didn’t have the energy.

But Fili did wake up. 

And the next day. 

And the next.

Stubbornly kept on going until Kili felt a little bit safer, even if he still tried to resist sleep to keep watch over his brother. 

“Fili? Fili, wake up.”

Kili was always the one who slept in, and ever since he could remember Fili was always the one to wake him up and call him a lazy arse for it. It was just how the world turned around: Fili was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes and the last thing he saw before he closed them.

But now it was Kili’s turn.

And Kili was determined to get it right. He was going to nurse him back to health, so he could kick his arse properly for giving him a fright and listen to that marvellous, if a bit sheepish laughter, when Fili apologised.

He shook the blond’s shoulder a bit more urgently, which earned him a rough-sounding groan.

“Come on, my golden haired princess.” 

Any other day he would have gotten a poke to the ribs for his troubles, but as it was he could safely lean in and steal a hungry kiss from his brother, slow and lazy at first, just a press of the lips, until Fili responded to him, opening up and allowing it to spiral into intimate and thorough, leaving both of them breathless.

This was a massive improvement on his waking speed on previous days, so either Fili was indeed getting better… or Kili was a damn good kisser.

“You’ve got five more minutes Goldilocks, while I go and check out the Hobbit buffet this morning.” He allowed himself a small affectionate smile when Fili grumbled something in response and burrowed into the warmth left in the spot Kili had occupied. “And after that if you’re still not awake I’m pinching your sides.”

***

Bilbo closed the front door behind him and put down the bucket he was using for the hot stones and the basket he used for food. He smiled, taking off his heavy coat, gloves and scarf. Slowly, as if it was a moment of a great reveal, he reached into his coat pocket and collected all its contents into his palm. Not bothering with the bucket and grabbing just the basket for now, Bilbo scooted straight to his study, feeling excited and giddy as if he was a hobbit of a gentle age of twenty five.

He sat down at his desk, prepared a few blank sheets of parchment and carefully unfolded his fingers. Therein sat his yield for the day: a small collection of items that the fairies deemed to bestow upon him, he assumed, in return for the food and helping them keep warm.

In truth Bilbo would continue to feed the fairies whether there was any payment forthcoming or not – they were just struggling to stay alive and he had been brought up to care for all life. He couldn’t just leave them out there on their own. 

But for some reason or another the Little Folk decided that the items left for them were an offer of trade, not a charity. And they accepted. Bilbo would never understand the worth of the things he was finding, but they gave him a fascinating insight into their world. And the very concept of trade suggested that the fairies understood property, fairness and honour, and could be reasoned with – Bilbo marvelled. 

Today had been a good day. 

He had about a dozen pretty pebbles, polished to high shine, until they looked like real precious gems. A piece of string that may or may not have been a shoelace once upon a time, coiled neatly. A button – quite nice, with a geometric pattern carving on top of it. A little bundle of dried herbs. Several nuts, something unidentifiable made out of acorn caps tied together and – 

Two miniature wood carvings.

He carefully separated those from the other fairy treasures and added the three he’d collected previously. The wood carvings fascinated him the most. They came from several different nests so they were clearly something that the fairies enjoyed making universally. Some of them were more successful than others in what they were meant to represent. The little dragon he found today for example had little chubby wings, completely out of proportion with the rest of its body.

But what these carvings were was infinitely less important than what they represented: a culture. Craft, tradition, intelligence and art. This was a civilisation he was dealing with. _People_ , another race to Middle Earth that nobody knew about, nobody ever explored or documented. These weren’t animals, or even pets – they made pretty things for each other, they communicated and they certainly loved; he saw first-hand just how fiercely protective they could be. 

Bilbo felt like he had stepped through a magic door and saw a whole new world, only this was _real_ , this was in his very own garden and every day there were brand new little clues left for him to decipher. 

Bilbo was ecstatic. He wanted to know _everything_ he could about them. One day he hoped he could speak to them, tell them about the hobbits and ask about their people. Such an important discovery - he was going to document things, he was going to write a book –

He started jotting down notes, wanting to convey everything while it was still fresh in his mind, so he could capture as many details as he remembered. In an appallingly rushed scrawl he built entire theories, which he’d disprove a few lines later, tried to analyse what he knew, and took detailed sketches of the more fascinating details. 

Bilbo Baggins was on a mission.

It was only well after he’d missed his elevensies that he actually paused to look at the scribbled pages and light up his pipe.

His eyes drifted back to the tiny wood carvings, as he sucked in a lungful of familiar soothing smoke.

They looked like they belonged with children. 

Little beloved toys that were currently (under furious investigation) gathering dust on his shelf. He’d seen their little ones. Huge eyes and lots of fluff on their back as they cowered behind their parents on the few occasions when Bilbo caught them awake when he was changing their hot stones. 

The carvings didn’t belong on his shelf any more than the fairies belonged in his book. He’d taken the ‘people’ out of the People he’d only just discovered.

Bilbo pushed the papers away. He couldn’t help being fascinated, and yes, perhaps he’d write a book, one day, but first and foremost the fairies were out there, sleeping in their warm little nests, perhaps chatting in their quiet way, perhaps nibbling on his food.

Bilbo felt blessed as he carefully tucked the wooden carvings into a handkerchief and into his supplies basket. They would be delivered tomorrow, together with food as presents for those nests where Bilbo thought he saw the young ones. 

Save for the wonky little dragon with chubby wings, which would remain with him, as his little reminder that he had discovered People and not just creatures.

***

Thorin Oakenshield was Brooding. 

Dwalin had seen that frown on his friend’s face more times than he cared to recall and usually it heralded big changes, like movement of people, some new laws being introduced or a war campaign. Thorin was weighing his options, drawing up plans and desperately trying to think of Another Way.

If there had been space in their nest and if their traditional bedding of poplar fluff could offer a bit more of a dramatic effect when stomped against, Thorin would be pacing.

Which was why Dwalin was politely perched against the pillows on his side of the divider, maintaining silence, save for the steady, rhythmic scrape of the whetstone along the blade of his axe and the sounds of tearing and chewing chunks of chicken, courtesy of theirs truly, Thorin’s Greatest Nemesis. 

Dwalin, seasoned strategist that he was and a keen, practical mind that his brother kept belittling, had worked it all out ages ago. 

The situation was: they had been discovered by the hobbit, who for some strange and inexplicable reason got it into his head to start vigorous trade with them in the dead of the winter.

Of Them (hobbits), there was only one, and no others had descended on their hobbit’s peaceful winter garden, which meant that he hadn’t told his kin, probably seeking to maintain trade exclusivity with the fairies. 

Of Us (fairies), there were about fifty warriors, then about twenty females, who were significantly more dangerous than the warriors, and there was Dwalin himself, who could probably take out the hobbit if the need arose.

Dwalin was of the opinion that the need should not arise. 

They had only three options:

Fight the hobbit for garden dominance, win, dispose of the corpse and prepare for the siege when he stopped appearing at his front gate to check his letterbox daily and others came to avenge his death (as was only proper). 

Leave, perhaps go back to the deep forests which offered better protection but significantly less food – which was impossible until the spring at least, and it would probably be summer by the time they were ready to travel. They had little ones and those who were poorly with them, and anything could happen in the time it took them to prepare. Hardly an effective swift retreat they managed last time.

Or wait until the spring, spend the time watching the hobbit, learning his ways and negotiating with him. Bind him into legal contracts that would tie his fate in with theirs, work out the tenure of lands, mining rights, trading agreements, and all other things that Dwalin had little interest in. But he was damn sure that Balin could waste a better part of the year setting everything up and in such a way that there would be no out for either party. 

Fairies didn’t have masters. But perhaps they could have partners?

Thorin must have known all of this too, but in true Durin spirit he was way too stubborn to just accept that they may have to learn to co-habitate. Thorin still dreamed of the rocky hills and rich veins within the rock, of great kingdoms and complete freedom and not having his people hide and cover in shame.

And who was Dwalin to destroy that dream? 

So for now Thorin brooded, ate very little and glared at things a lot, when awake. 

Dwalin let him stew in it as long as he liked, taught by experience that his friend would act when he felt the time was right, and somewhat pleased that all of this happened to them in the middle of the worst winter in years, both saving them and effectively locking them in the situation. 

The old warrior put his faithful axe away, yawned and stretched all the way to the tips of his wings. He fluffed up his pillows in his favourite spot right above the hot stone and dragged his blanket and furs back, ready to curl up for the rest of the day.

He looked from the sizeable chunk of chicken he still had left to Thorin and casually flung it at his king. “Ye should eat something. It’s really rather well spiced.”

An annoyed snarl was his response, but Thorin bit into the meat as Dwalin burrowed into the blissfully hot fluff, hugged his pillow and wondered if Ori was this comfortable too.

“We shall have to do something about… this,” came an imperially frustrated huff just as Dwalin was drifting away. “In the spring, we shall have to do something.”

Aye - Dwalin silently agreed, mind full of an entirely different, blue-winged fairy - In the spring I shall have to do something about this.

***

“Fili? Fili, I need you to wake up, but keep your eyes closed for now. Can you do that?” said a low voice in his ear and he blinked against the hand covering his eyes a few times.

“Kili? What –“

“Shhhh, just trust me. Can you keep them closed?” His brother sounded smug, so Fili’s mind excluded danger and gross injury from his list of possible scenarios and moved onto more curious things.

“Yeah, okay.” He agreed and yawned hugely, sitting up when the hand was removed. He still felt drowsy and incredibly tired but at least he was able to force his body to cooperate. “What is it?”

“You’ll see!” Came a response far too excited for this time of the year. There was some movement next to him, a sound of metal against something – stone? “Now open wide and keep your eyes closed!”

Fili burst out laughing. “Is it spring yet? Have I missed a couple of months? Because if it’s not, you know you won’t stay awake long enough to finish what you have in mind!”

“Shut up and open your mouth!” Kili protested, but there was laughter in his voice too and, Mahal, how Fili had missed it.

“You know I don’t recognise about eighty percent of the food you feed me these days anyway and sight won’t make much of a difference, if it’s some strange, new and exciting –“

“Fili!”

“Fine, but if you feed me something disgusting, like when we were kids, I swear I will tie your wings to your back with a pretty little bow where you can’t reach it!”

Kili huffed but didn’t argue.

Fili allowed himself a slow, filthy smile and shifted on his heels towards where he thought Kili was. He kept his eyes closed as promised, opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue a little, because two could play this game.

He was rewarded with a little hitch in Kili’s breathing, which sent an entirely spring-like jolt to his nether regions, and turned into a sharp pulse of desire when Kili put two fingers in his mouth and ordered, “now suck.”

And then it was just pure, delicious sweetness, a ridiculously big blob of it in his mouth and Fili did indeed suck and even moan, but for reasons completely different to what he was expecting. 

Honey. 

Nature’s most perfect, richest and decadent flavour. 

Kili’s number one favourite food. 

He lapped at the fingers until they were clean, partly because he couldn’t stop himself, partly to cause more of those not-quite-pants from his brother and partly because sticky fingers and fluff were not a good combination.

“G-Good?” Kili asked when Fili finally opened his eyes and let the fingers slip from his lips. 

Fili watched him quietly for a while, took in the dark circles under his eyes, the hungry look and the way his gaze kept flicking to Fili’s damp and swollen lips. 

Then he wordlessly reached out and pulled him down by the back of his neck for a deep and sweet kiss, full of chasing tongues, little contented moans and hands that wandered. It ended on an annoyed growl and tiny licks to the corner of his mouth.

Fili repressed another yawn and then his eyes caught sight of where Kili was reaching – his brother had an _entire jar_ worth of honey, almost three inches tall!

Fili stared in shock. “Where did you get this?!”

Kili shrugged. “It was waiting on top of our pantry this morning.”

“It must be worth – Well _this much_ is practically priceless!” 

Honey was indeed one of the most expensive things a fairy could buy. Easily worth its weight in gold or flawless jewels. It was incredibly difficult to get and, perhaps because of it, surrounded by myths. To many it held almost panacea-like qualities.

“Yep.” Kili beamed at him, scooping another dollop and eagerly lapping it off himself. “And we will eat every. Last. drop of it.” He announced.

“But why –“ Fili felt more than a little distracted by the pink tongue darting around the digits. “What did you trade for it?! You didn’t – You didn’t trade any of my weapons in, did you?”

“No.” Now Kili looked a little bit sheepish. “It was – It was that little dragon that I made in the autumn.”

“The wonky one?!”

“It wasn’t wonky! It was a baby dragon!” Kili insisted, like he had many times before, when explaining the disproportionate wings.

“But you loved that dragon.” And in Fili’s eyes in that moment a whole jar of honey wasn’t worth Kili’s wonky little wood carving.

“Yeah, well… I guess I love you more.” There was a definite blush along the tips of Kili’s ears and his high prominent cheekbones as he shoved the jar between the two of them. “Now eat before you pass out again, Goldilocks.”


	6. Of Showers and Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said that these jump through the timeline, however they like?
> 
> Yeah... that thing.

“I’m sorry.” Kili hiccupped next to him and Fili paused to look at the little dwarfling holding his hand. 

“It’s not your fault,” he crouched in front of his brother, who was avoiding his gaze and kicking at the mud with one soggy fur-lined boot. “I should have spotted the weather turning, I wasn’t paying attention.”

He wrapped his arms around Kili, trying to make sure that he stayed warm, despite the rain pelting down on both of them, soaking them to the bone.

“It’s all because I wanted to see the baby lizard. We’ve strayed too far.” Little hands wrapped themselves around his shoulders and pushed into his hair, where a distinct sniffling noise could be heard. 

Fili rolled his eyes (promised himself to wash his hair as soon as they got in), but for now he just rubbed Kili’s shoulder blades energetically to lend them some warmth, like their father had taught them once.

A deep rumble of a distant thunder had the scrawny arms locked so tightly around his neck that Fili’s eyes watered and a shrill shriek still ringing in his ears.

“Well, we will never be dragon riders, if we can’t even catch our own dragons, eh?” He offered cheerfully when he was able to breathe again, arms under Kili’s bottom to lift him into his arms.

They needed protection, something to block out the worst of the nasty weather, even if they couldn’t stop and hide from the rain, Fili thought. Once he felt he had a firm grip (and when had Kili grown quite so heavy?!) he walked into the tall grass at the side of the road, hoping to find something that might help them.

“I’m telling you though!” Kili’s hands became animated once again, waving about in front of his face, “it will work! We just need to catch them young so we can train them! Imagine a battle fairy on one of the big ones! Uncle Thorin, or Dwalin!”

Fili nodded encouragingly, collecting some fallen leaves and imagining Dwalin, a mountain of a fairy, faced with the perspective of climbing atop a lizard. ‘Ye’ve lost the last of yer marbles, lads! And there weren’t that many to begin with,’ he’d insist. 

But Kili had been determined, chasing the poor creature all the way into the tall reeds at the river bank. By the time they’d realised that the heavy drops on their backs were more than just an autumn shower it had been far too late. Luckily, before their wings got too waterlogged to fly, they managed to find the path used by the Big Folk, which led them to the road they were now following in hopes of getting back home. 

Walking. 

Walking sucked _big time_ , Fili decided.

He had considered finding a nice, dry spot to wait the deluge out, but their parents would worry and Kili looked like he could fall asleep where he was standing, so instead Fili urged them on. He didn’t think they were _that_ far away, but without the familiar bird’s view on the area he couldn’t be sure. He wasn’t even sure if the road lead _to_ home, or away from it. 

“Fili?” 

He didn’t even realise when his little brother fell silent, curiously watching as Fili arranged the few large, red and golden leaves he’d collected.

“Hmmm?”

“Do you think the poplar fluff will be all ruined this year? It’s been raining near constant for the past week. I bet it’s all soggy,” Kili’s face visibly fell. “And then the winter will come and we’ll all die of coldness!”

“Cold.” Fili corrected automatically. “Don’t be silly. We’ll collect the fluff anyway and try to dry whatever we can by the big fires. Plus we have some animal furs too, remember? Between ma and da, under all that we’ll be grand.”

Kili nodded sagely and Fili felt a surge of pride at being the wise and trustworthy older brother. He thought he’d heard this from Balin once in passing and he wasn’t even entirely sure if reclaimed fluff would be any good for the fairies, but at least, once again, Fili had all the answers.

“Fili?”

And Kili had all the questions.

“Hmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“It’s a rain protector!” Fili announced proudly, getting back to his feet and presenting his creation. 

He’d found a sturdy walking stick a bit earlier (Kili of course had instantly wanted one of his own, but lost it a few minutes later). The stick was hollowed out inside by the termites and served as a perfect funnel for the stems of the several leaves packed inside tightly and spread evenly around it to provide a temporary cover.

“Now then. I expect you will want to piggy back home?”

Kili nodded slowly. “My feet hurt. I don’t think we’re meant to walk this much, Fili.” His brother told him in all seriousness. “What if we break our legs?”

Fili suppressed a laugh. Kili liked to be taken seriously when pondering Very Serious Concerns indeed. “I think you need to at least fall over to break a leg. Which, granted, could be a problem for you, but for me –“

“That was one time, Fili! And I told you, the moss there was slippery!” Kili placed his fists on his hips and gave him a miniature version of their uncle’s Most Amazing Glare. Fili was forced to admit that he was already alarmingly good at it.

“So I take it you’re walking, then?”

Kili peered sceptically at Fili’s invention a moment longer before reluctantly getting up from the grass, shaking his head like a wet dog to get the hair out of his eyes (and failing miserably), and finally, several attempts and some indignant yelping later (“Mind the wings, you overgrown beetroot!”) his brother was perched on top of his shoulders and holding onto Fili’s head for dear life. 

“Hold on to this.” Fili offered, passing him his rain protector instead. “And try to cover both of us, yeah?”

He could feel Kili nod and he smiled, imagining the determined frown of concentration on Kili’s face, as he was given his latest mission.

They started walking again, unaware of the gentle swell of Bag End not so far in the distance.

***

“Uwaaaaaaaah! Fili, it will hit us!” Kili shrieked, trying to make himself smaller on top of his brother’s shoulders whilst another lightening cut the sky in a white streak, rolling somewhere close with a booming thunder.

They stumbled for a moment (little hands covering his eyes like vice, until Fili gently pried them away, managing to shift them to his forehead.)

“You’re okay! It won’t hit you!” Fili shouted back over the wind and the downpour. 

“How do you know?!” Kili demanded, voice panicked and unconvinced, making Fili search his mind frantically. 

Damn Kili’s inquisitive nature.

“We’re too small! It will never be able to target something so small.” He fired back with all the conviction he could muster. 

“Easy for you to say! You’re not the one up here, about to be ended! I want down! Let me down!” Kili demanded, his heels hitting Fili in the ribs.

But before he had any chance to respond, the weight was mysteriously lifted off his shoulders. For a split second the instinct took over and he reeled, ready to fight whatever had snatched his brother, before he realised that his opponent looked a lot like his father, with an armful of a wild-looking Kili. 

Vali arched his eyebrow. “Son, if that was meant to be an artificial tree, I think you’ll need to work on your camouflage skills.”

Fili was in his father’s arms so fast that he didn’t even have the time to feel indignant, and he wasn’t quite sure if the dampness on his face was the rain or the tears of relief. 

***

Dis only really settled down when her two children were in bed, curled up around each other like kittens and asleep under the thick furs. They had been returned to her drenched to the bone and shivering, but all in one piece, which was a small blessing, considering the battle to get their hair untangled, that was sure to follow the next day. For now they were all hands in the wing fluff, arms around shoulders, even legs wrapped around each other, their little wings fluttering away softly in their sleep.

Some days Dis wondered how they managed to sleep without physically injuring themselves. 

“You know you can’t be too harsh on them, right?” Vali murmured quietly, coming to stand behind her and expertly massaging her neck to loosen the knotted muscles there. He looked adorable with a towel wrapped up haphazardly around his head with wild blonde strands sticking out from under it here and there. “We used to be dwarflings too once too, remember?

Dis sighed heavily, the weight of worry slowly seeping away from her shoulders. 

“I remember. You used to pull on my braids like the spoiled brat that you are.” 

“And you used to kick me in the shins for it.” Vali beamed at her with a completely unfounded and inappropriate pride. 

“And remember that one time,” she continued, “when Thorin announced that he was going to build his own mountain from pebbles and twigs and rule under it? Took him a week to build the damned thing and ten minutes of summer rain to discover that the river mud doesn’t make for a particularly good cement…”

***

It was the laughter nearby that woke little Kili. 

He blinked owlishly at the downpour nearby, dripping in big, fat drops from the wide leaves of their roof and huffed a bit at his parents doing their _mushy stuff_ right next to his bed when Kili was trying to sleep.

He tried to burrow deeper, only to find Fili curled up around him. That was okay then, he thought, pressing his face into his brother’s shoulder. 

Tomorrow they would go and search for the lizards again.


	7. Sunshine On Your Skin

The rock pools were Fili’s and Kili’s favourite spot for bathing.

Much further upstream than the communal baths of their folk, this spot was exclusively theirs. It was perfect, shaded from view by the low hanging branches, with enough foliage to protect from the rain if needed, but at the same time allow the sun to penetrate through in golden stains, warming the rocks and the water. 

The current here was lazy, stilling completely in some of the shallows, in other places cascading over the rocks in miniature waterfalls. The open water could be dangerous for fairies - strong currents impossible to battle against, once their wings got wet. It was much safer to stick to the shores and the little basins framed by the rocks.

Kili had loved this place since the day Fili brought him here, in great secret, as a little dwarfling. The branches were low enough for hanging their clothes on, or providing support, and the rocks were perfect height for leaning against. The peaceful tranquillity of this spot was undisturbed, except for the sounds of running water and bird’s calls.

The first dip was always the best. Later, when they’ve started splashing, the water would be replaced by the current, but for now the sun had warmed it gently, making Fili slip in almost reverently.

Kili had no such reservations, jumping in from the nearby rock with a yelp, a splash, and the delicate equilibrium between the warm water at the top and cool layer near the bottom was completely ruined. 

By the time he re-surfaced, Fili was scowling at him.

“Like a pig in the mud,” he commented, shaking his head before patiently tugging his wet braids free.

Kili floated closer with only the tip of his head and nose visible above the water, pretending to be a great, fairy-eating fish.

Fili aimed a kick at his butt, but only managed a shin, thwarted by the distorted reflection, for which daring move he ended up pulled underwater by his ankle. A short scuffle later and Kili found himself pinned against the moss-covered sandstone by urgent hands trapping his wings and wrists. 

Fili _had_ always been the stronger one of the two.

Not that Kili was about to protest, not with his mouth so occupied by a demanding tongue, anyway.

As far as Kili was concerned the rock pool baths were _theirs_ and they were perfect.

They both dove under to pick the best scrubbing stones (round and smooth and fitting easily inside a palm) and soon after were vigorously attacking their own skin.

Thorin had once told Kili that the elf fairies never ever washed. 

Apparently they just rubbed fragrant-smelling leaves against their skin and covered themselves in flowers. He was inclined to believe this. He scrunched up his nose in deep distaste, enjoying the healthy pink tingle everywhere he’d scrubbed himself already. It was easy to get covered in all sorts of muck tending the garden and Kili wouldn’t give up the feeling of Fili’s hands in his hair for all the flowers of the Great Meadow.

Or his hands on his back, he thought, not even _trying_ to hold back the moan. For a fairy, the area between their wings was almost as sensitive as their nether regions. Vulnerable for its proximity to the delicate tufts of fluff at the roots of their wings and full of nerve endings for collecting the most minute impulses from their wings. Kili could do nothing except bow his head lower and try to limit the impulsive fluttering of his wings to a minimum, while Fili used his own stone to give his spine a thorough rubbing over. 

His brother cooed softly, moving his hands under his twitching wings to go over his shoulder blades and ribs, and Kili was practically vibrating with impatience, waiting his turn. Fili made all the best noises when his wings were held by Kili’s fingers.

Wings were cleaned last. Far too delicate for the energetic scrubbing the fairies otherwise liked, wings were universally treated with respect and care, cleaned with gentle strokes and checked over for damage along the edges and the nerve-lines. 

Kili had refused to have anyone but Fili touch his wings for as long as he could remember. By the time he’d turned sixty he knew that Fili was able to make him come touching nothing but his wings, if he was in the right mood. 

But today his brother seemed to be in a bit of a tricky mood, hitting a nerve here and there, teasing, causing uncontrollable little twitches and shameless moans to tumble from his lips.

Kili’s only consolation was that soon, _soon_ , the roles would be reversed and his own fingers would not be quite so carefree when they made Fili fall apart before him (arms flailing, legs kicking out, splashing in the water helplessly, breath catching up when he arched into his hands and begged for more). 

It was a good thing, he thought, that it would take a while yet for them to get dry enough to fly again. There was no other feeling quite like the powerful thrusts fuelled by the fluttering of damp wings, irregular and full of surprised gasps when he propelled himself towards completion inside the soft and pliant body stretched over the sun-baked stones.


	8. Of Dragons and Strawberries

It started with a gentle tug of his arm. 

Kili was stirring and Fili – before his mind’s eye taking the journey down the river, perched with his brother atop a giant swan - simply tightened his hold on his waist. In his sleep he didn’t catch the quiet, displeased groan, or the delicate flutter running through Kili’s wings.

The scenery of his dream was breath-taking, all lush green forests he’d never seen before, and the swan feathers were so soft and comfortable to sprawl on. Strangely, the bird didn’t seem to mind them, where normally the swans were vicious, attacking any fairy foolish enough to get too close to them. Next to him Kili was commenting excitedly about something that Fili couldn’t quite catch, but he felt reassured by the familiar happy chatter.

Only it was getting cold. 

Uncomfortably cold, and something seemed to be hitting the side of his head – chasing their covers only half consciously Fili discovered that he’d lost his hold on Kili, who seemed to be cocooned and somewhat anxious, because his wings were definitely moving when Fili reached out for him. He caught the one that kept hitting him and started stroking it automatically, giving a content little rumble when it relaxed, a bit at odds with Kili’s low moan. 

Kili’s skin felt warm against his chest, when Fili mercilessly tugged the covers back over himself with all the experience of an older brother, who also happened to be his lover. His body liked that warmth and the smell of Kili’s hair, and all the little noises of contentment that Kili would deny until his dying day if he was aware of them. Before he returned to the beautiful greenery of his dreams – and the swan had somehow morphed into a fire breathing dragon by now – his arm was wrapped securely back over the younger’s waist, his body stretched flush against his side.

He was a dragon rider now – and how cool was that?! If only Kili could see him now – 

There was another tug on his arm, stronger this time and his bare back was exposed once again. Fili shivered and whimpered at the cool air hitting his skin. The dragon was telling him something he couldn’t understand, but there was a wind in his hair and Fili felt like he could rule the world like this. 

He snapped back into consciousness when his arm landed on the bedding where Kili used to be. 

And should be.

Fili frowned.

He blinked owlishly in the near-darkness, but the covers (he missed those especially), or his brother (also missed him a bit, exactly how much dependant on whether Kili was in possession of the aforementioned covers or not) were nowhere to be found. 

This confused Fili somewhat. 

Their nest didn’t feel _right_ without Kili. He had to be there _somewhere_ , Fili thought, digging blindly through the fluff in case Kili just dug himself in really deep –

And what is this low fluttering noise anyway -?

By this point Kili appeared to be almost four inches above their bedding, hovering drunkenly, pulling at the furs tangled around his hips like they were his worst enemy and apparently having an entire muttered conversation with himself. Or it could have been a conversation with Fili based on the few times he caught his own name.

Fili sincerely hoped his dream-self agreed with Kili, or else his brother had been known to kick rather viciously in his sleep when unhappy.

He stared for a moment at the fairy sleep-flying above him.

How was he even doing that? Was there anything wrong with sleeping on the bed, the way Fili liked to do it?!

Kili growled. And huffed. And trashed some more, effectively twisting hundred and eighty degrees mid-air.

At that point it occurred to Fili that as amusing as it was to watch, the warmth (or the covers) weren’t returning unless Fili got his satellite brother back. Catching one wrist he pulled him down, because really, it was ridiculous, adorable, but ridiculous, and the bottom line was – he wanted his Kili back, the need to soothe his wings rising within him, almost as natural as breathing. 

He very nearly yelped when the heavy weight and all the limbs attached to it landed directly on top of him, instantly grabbing for him and curling up like he was the most comfortable pillow. Fili growled at the awkward feeling of having his own wings trapped under both of them, but the discomfort was quickly overruled by the deep satisfaction of having a wriggling armful of his One.

He settled back, pulling the furs back up over both of them and nuzzling into Kili’s hair. He couldn’t help a pleased little moan as he wrapped both his arms securely around Kili’s waist again and caught a glimpse of a virtually unconscious dark eyes peering at him dreamily. Trapped like this Kili wasn’t going anywhere any time soon and Fili would be able to go back to his dragon…

…Which is gone by now. 

But there were strawberries. Big, juicy, red strawberries, gleaming in the sun, waiting for him to bite in. 

Fili felt happy. He liked strawberries – he liked the smell, the sticky sweetness, the juice running down his forearms and he _loved_ the deep, strawberry-flavoured kisses. Their taste was the taste of summer, and sun, and the dark eyes watching him before leaning in closer and _licking_ into his mouth, letting the flavour roll between them.

He twitched when a thought wormed its way into his slumbering mind that there was something he was meant to do, something he’d forgotten. He assumed it was something to do with Kili, usually was, he frowned, something to help him… eat strawberries? But Kili was here with him, face already covered in sweet juice and grinning at him in that truly happy way which, Fili thought, could just about be his most prized possession in the whole world.

He shrugged and dug in, the strawberry plump and perfectly ripe in his hands, happiness slowly morphing into pleasure and really, he couldn’t be blamed when another helpless little moan escaped him. He mouthed and sucked at the tender skin of the fruit, licked it, chased that elusive taste, and Kili surely was just fine, doing a fair amount of moaning of his own.

Decadence was something he rarely indulged in, but this sensation growing inside him was absolutely perfect and he couldn’t stop himself.

“Nnngh…”

Fili _liked_ being trapped by Kili’s weight probably more than a sensible fairy should, but then Fili wasn’t a sensible fairy, when it came to Kili.

Fili was a fairy madly in love. 

He had also been brought up together with Kili and somewhere there, among all the brotherly mischief he had been conditioned to expect and almost _enjoy_ all the poorly placed hands and knees and always, _always_ hold him when Kili was close enough to demand it. 

So it was a little disconcerting when said weight started to lift at regular intervals, once again tugging at his embrace.

The wings! He’d forgotten he was meant to soothe them.

His fingers were tracing along Kili’s spine almost without his conscious input. He carded through the downy fluff at the base of the wings (Kili never _could_ grow a proper beard or a proper back fluff), effortlessly found the strong, thick cords of muscles –

“Aaaaah!” 

“Shhh, baby. I’ve got you.” He muttered, surprised at how low his own voice had dropped and wrapping his other hand around the back of Kili’s head, to hold him in place while his lips chased the taste of strawberries. 

This earned him a quiet whimper and a surge of guilt and desire combined, when it finally registered that those panting lips were mere millimetres from his ear and the sweet-tasting skin was, in fact, Kili’s neck, now somewhat bruised. 

But Kili didn’t seem to be protesting much, instead his whole body was twisting and shifting, until they fit together perfectly, pressing and grinding in all the right places, sleepy, relaxed and pliant, except for the obvious tightness of Kili’s shoulders and back. 

Fili cooed softly, fingers finding a sensitive spot on either side of Kili’s spine (Kili gasped, right in his ear), stroking, rubbing, lavishing it with soft touches and soothing caresses. Kili’s wings flapped rebelliously for a while (or perhaps it was Kili himself), but he pressed hard, tightening his hold and after a long moment they started to fold away. 

“That’s it, baby. Relax. We’ll sort it out.” He kept the steady murmur of sweet nothings into Kili’s skin, suspended half way between a dream and reality and perfectly content because it was full of Kili.

He drifted away again to the feeling of his fingers running over the neat bump of Kili’s folded wings, the smell of strawberries and errant fingers clumsily tracing patterns into the skin over his ribs.

“Fili –“ he heard Kili breathe his name in _that_ way, and felt himself arch at the sudden swell of arousal.

In his dream they were flying now, completely free and joyful, soaring high into the blue skies, chasing each other, and then falling down in tight pirouettes over the flower-covered meadows. They twisted and teased, suddenly changing directions, stretching luxuriously on the long, slow curves, holding hands and sometimes flying in perfect sync, a mere breath away from each other. His fingers traced Kili’s skin mid-flight, his arms came almost around him, but never close down for a complete embrace, because to do so up in the air would be to take away Kili’s freedom, and that, in Fili’s world, was an unforgiveable crime. 

“Haaah, Fili…” 

On some level he was conscious that he’d grown hard, that they both had, and that Kili’s hips were moving in a rhythm they both loved and shared, like the rolling taste of strawberries on their tongues, or a lazy pleasure of a cooling swim on a hot day. But his spirit felt free and it felt precious to hear Kili laughing so openly, as he twisted and turned, narrowly avoiding obstacles as he flew. This was the Kili he loved the most – carefree, a bit reckless, but always returning to him with something new and exciting that he’d just found.

“- Need you.”

 _His_ Kili. His to touch, to kiss, to care for, his to – there were kisses peppering his chest, clumsy and messy and absolutely perfect, little nibbles interrupted by helpless gasps, and the press of Kili’s leg between his own, bringing their hard lengths together, was anything but accidental. 

“Mmmh -!” He arched up again, surprised when he recognised the moan as his own.

In his mind they were still flying, but so close now, heavy and saturated in Kili’s touches to his skin, taking him apart, lingering lips and a slide of body against body, hot, liquid, _familiar_ , their wings flexing in unison as they finally fell into one another.

He tightened his grip, a strange mixture of _mine_ , _protect_ and _want_ , his eyes slowly sliding open.

On top of him, Kili was _trembling_ and Fili forgot how to breathe, trapped in the moment and struck by the current of the low, pulsing love running through him.

“Please. P-please, Fili - touch me. Take me, I want to feel you in me, I can’t – just do _something_ with me!” Kili managed, annoyed but eager, and uncoordinated, never concerned with _how_ , only _when_ , which was so _Kili_ that it made Fili chuckle low in his throat.

“Shhh… I’m here now.” 

Forehead to forehead, breathing the same air, while Fili ran his hands _deliberately_ now, driving them wild, desperately trying to touch his brother everywhere at once, to give him what he wanted, what they both wanted so badly, it was almost painful. His fingers curled up tight in the fluff between Kili’s wings, where he would feel it the most –

“Fuck!” Empathic and half scandalised, half on the verge of breaking and asking for it again, breathing turning shallow and shaky, pupils so wide that Kili’s eyes appeared just black in the low light –

\- His other hand finding the swell of his ass, dipping between it, teasing –

“Let me just get the –“

“NO! Please Fili, I’m _so_ close, I just need –“

“Tell me, baby. Tell me what you want –“

Changing tack for a moment, fingers dipping lower, shaking with his own desire, and a pleasant burn of denial against the need to just slide inside, oil be damned. It was never a possibility of course, and his mind promptly tortured him with a catalogue of sinful alternatives, complete with Kili’s reactions. Fili has taught himself a thousand different ways of taking Kili apart, of reading his body even when his brother couldn’t. But Kili always came first and would always be put back together again, undamaged, when they were done.

“I – I don’t know,” a frustrated whine, the ‘o’ stretched long and thin – yet another one of Kili’s little idiosyncrasies that Fili would always love - “just - m-make me feel it – take me apart, Fili!“

Another gasp when Fili found the spot he wanted and pressed up, hard. 

This he would also feel, he thought, circling pressure just behind Kili’s stones, awestruck at the head thrown back in a soundless cry and a pulse of precome sliding tantalisingly down the length of Kili’s cock. 

He felt drunk on the sense of power, strung high on the edge of his own release, humbled and empowered at the same time by how completely boneless Kili felt in his arms, absolute trust and love written into every helpless, hard little shove of his hips against his thumb.

“Kiss me.” He whispered hoarsely, trembling with the effort of holding himself back until Kili had found his own release, because they would go together or not at all.

Hot lips swallowed him down, and Kili knew a thousand ways of his own to drive him just as mad, tongues dancing as if they were mid-flight again, agonising grind of slick flesh against flesh and a broken cry in the back of Kili’s throat that ripped through his self-control and branded him with blinding pleasure.

They caught each other, really, and for a while there was nothing but the need to _have_ each other, to stay close, arms and legs curling, little whimpers, and uncontrollable trembling of their bodies.

Fili kissed his apologies, reassurances and declarations of love right into Kili’s shivering skin, hands turning soothing once again and releasing the wings to unfold and beat furiously around them as hard as Kili liked, because Fili _had_ him, truly this time, and would never let him go. 

They drifted off once again still twisted like that, hot, sated and stupid with the swell of their hearts, dreaming little fairy dreams of hot, heady summers, quiet creeks and a sweet taste of each other.


	9. The Rain of Starlight

Kili was late. 

Fili sighed and rearranged the covers in their temporary nest for the fourth time. Where was the silly brat flying?! Kili had been so excited when Oin first foretold that there would be a shower of falling stars tonight and now he was nowhere to be found. 

They had spent their entire morning building the nesting basket high in the treetops and consequently slept through most of the afternoon to recover. It was almost winter now, and some fairies had already fallen asleep, rarely venturing outside their winter nests. Fili was glad that the two of them hadn’t – it was worth the look of absolute glee on Kili’s face when he mentioned a high nest for this occasion. 

The nest was perfect – the basket had been woven securely in between forked branches, high near the top, where the view was the best. They filled it in part with the fluff they had collected for the winter and in part with the heavy thick furs that took some dragging but ultimately would be worth it. A small mountain of winter pillows, filled to the brim with feathery chicken down completed the piece. In addition, in what Fili considered to be a stroke of pure genius, he’d kept some pebbles in the fires, then pulled them out and carefully wrapped in rags – to help with those icy cold toes which were bound to end up pressed against his shins.

Fili sat on one of the thicker branches forming the support frame and went about removing his thick and furry winter boots. He took his time tying them up to the branch by their leather straps so they’d be to hand later on – nobody wanted to have to fly barefoot at this time of the year. He yawned and stretched before sinking his feet into the warmth of their nest, happily curling his toes in the soft lining. Yes, this would do nicely.

The first of the delicate white smudges cut the horizon right in front of him and Fili thought of Kili’s smile. Dwarf fairies weren’t overly taken with starlight, not like _elf_ fairies would be (there was no doubt harmonious singing and sad melodies on the harp going on in Mirkwood), usually preferring to stay close to the ground. The height of dwarf excitement included things like the pretty mineral formations they occasionally found or veins of salt crystals they sometimes came across.

And Kili was fascinated by all that – he’d play in the mud with the rest of them, happy as a pig (would demand a thorough wing clean immediately after), but he did also enjoy watching the stars and had a slightly worrying tendency to want to describe their beauty. Where other fairies were safely tucked away in their nests by now, either hiding away (who knew what foul spells the Elf Lights might cast this year) or watching grudgingly from the safety of the ground, Kili wanted to be up there, would fly to the stars and try to touch them if he could.

Their parents never scolded him for his mild obsession with the stars, only occasionally bickering over which one of them was the source of it, so Fili grew up blissfully unaware that their behaviour could be considered odd. He remembered many nights spent watching the flickering lights in the sky together with his brother, who invented whole stories about what each cluster represented and why it was up there shaped the way it was. Needless to say, there was never any consistency to those stories and they grew wilder and more fantastic as they grew up.

His personal opinion was that if the little twinkling lights in the sky made Kili happy then they were a good thing, which Fili approved of.

It was around the second and the third bright line that Kili finally arrived in a flurry of wings and badly tangled hair.

“Get in, get in! We’re going to miss the beginning and I’m freezing my ass off here!” Kili instantly demanded, all but shoving Fili into the soft covers.

“ _You_ have already missed the beginning.” Fili informed him dryly, stripping off his winter coat and adding it on top of the covers. “I’ve seen at least three shoot down.”

Kili gave a distressed little whine. “You’ll appreciate my sacrifice once you’ve seen what I’ve got!” He beamed, easily curling up next to Fili and pulling the covers over both of them.

“So?” Fili prompted once they were both settled, Kili’s hands cupping the side of his face and brushing his hair out of the way.

“Hello, Fili’s nose. You must be freezing out here in the cold! Let me warm you up.”

Fili rolled his eyes as Kili leaned in and delivered a series of little kisses to his nose. He absolutely _didn’t_ blush – if his cheeks looked a bit flushed that was only from the cold.

Kili’s recent phase with his nose was as annoying as it was adorable. He’d grumble in public, complain and demand that Kili unhand him (curse the height difference), but in private he could sometimes indulge Kili. 

“Kili.”

Especially as it tended to lead to other affectionate nipping and nuzzling. 

“Kili.”

Which, well… felt quite nice.

“Kili.”

“Mmmm?”

“There was another one.”

“That’s okay.” Said Kili’s voice somewhere way too close for Fili’s observational skills to maintain their focus on the sky. Cold lips covered his with gentleness and consideration that still sometimes threw him off-guard, tilted to an angle comfortable for him and begged admittance with a hot, wet tongue. Fili acquiesced and moaned as his brother proceeded to slowly, methodically strip all his other skills, as well as any coherent thoughts away from him. 

“What brought this on?” He murmured eventually, dazed but happy, struggling to keep the urge to _purr_ contentedly under control.

“Because that’s now my first wish granted.” Kili all but sing-sang in response, beaming at him.

“Kili, you are the sappiest fairy to ever live.”

“And you love me. Isn’t that great?”

“And I love you, Mahal save my soul.” Fili agreed, giving in into the fingers sliding into his fluff. “So what kept you? I thought you were just going to get the snacks?”

“Oh!” Kili reached for his satchel and started rifling through it. “I did. Look at what I have!”

The contents of the bag ended up in the fluff between them, allowing Fili to assess them critically.

“A big flask of a spiced apple juice – nice, will come in handy –“

“Nope. _Raspberry_.” Kili licked his lips.

Fili whistled. “ _Very_ nice. Where did you get that?”

“Visited Amad. She fussed and insisted we don’t stay out here all night long.”

“And what did you say to her?”

“That we would _think about it_. Then she gave me the dried prunes.” 

The sweet, dried prunes were Kili’s favourite, although Fili was also partial to them. This was indeed a great gift from their mother, who had probably accepted that the two of them would be up until ungodly hour watching the sky.

“And what’s that?” Fili picked up a delicate roll of birch bark with something like a list written carefully across it in Khuzdul.

“That is _private_!” Kili snatched the parchment from his hands, looking alarmed.

“Kili, I haven’t seen you put this many runes together since the last assignment Master Balin gave you all those years ago. I will find out one way or another.”

“It’s… It’s a wish list. If you must know.” He sulked, unrolling the little script and looking through it just as another star cut the sky. Kili squeezed his eyes shut, his face drawing into a frown of fierce concentration, which Fili shouldn’t find as adorable as he did.

“You have a wish list?!”

“You don’t?!” Kili stared at him in horror, interrupted when two more stars followed. “Quick, make a wish!!” he hissed.

Fili considered this, pulling Kili and his silly list into his arms and settling propped up behind him. In truth he had forgotten that the falling stars (in Kili’s opinion) were meant to grant wishes. He found it surprisingly difficult to come up with anything. 

Fili wasn’t a dreamer like Thorin was. He didn’t reminisce about valleys hidden deep in the mountains, now long lost. He wasn’t like Kili and his boundless enthusiasm for anything and anyone he’s met on his path.

Fili’s dreams and wishes were simple: He wished Kili would love him always and that they could have each other forever. He prayed his brother lived to be three and four hundred years old like the fairies in the olden days, or if it wasn’t meant to be, that they would at least go together so neither would have to suffer the loneliness. He wished for good health for his parents and uncle, that the winters weren’t so harsh and that food never ran out. He wished the radishes grew bigger next year and that the stream diversion they were working on in secret could be completed next summer. He wished for safety, peace and prosperity for the fairies – little dreams unfit for an heir to the throne.

He looked away feeling the pang of guilt, responsibility and worry, his arms tightening around his brother a fraction.

Kili looked at him upside down, eyes huge and frowning as he watched his face.

“Fine.” Kili heaved a long-suffering sigh. “You can use mine, if you promise not to laugh.”

Kili’s first wish was for a dragon. A dragon that could be tamed, domesticated and ridden into the battle (The bigger the better – it said in brackets, just so that there weren’t any doubts).


	10. A Well-Trained Hobbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written by Linane.

Three consecutive taps to their nest was what woke Kili up. 

He jerked a little, pulled out of the fabric of his dreams, and automatically squeezed his arms tighter around the warm body curled up between them. 

_Protect._

_Love._

He blinked, once, twice, pressed his nose into the soft hair smelling like sleep, and this time more carefully and deliberately gathered Fili closer to him, making pleased little noise when he felt skin on skin. 

_Keep._

His hands shifted from around Fili’s shoulders to under his arms, ending up buried deep in the fluff of his back, right at the roots of his wings.

Kili kneaded.

Mine.

It was an instinct, some deep twist to the way he had been put together, to always put the sleepy bundle that was his brother above everything else, to spoil him and watch in utter delight as he was _happy_. The need to care, born of soul-deep connection.

_Pleasure._

Of all his senses, touch was the one that always brought him the most satisfaction, and after decades of sharing the same space, the same breaths and the same soul, Fili accepted it and opened up to him without any conscious thought.

He dug the soft pads of his fingertips right into the loose muscles, shifting them however he wanted, working each and every one of Fili’s little pleasure-spots, massaging his way up to his shoulder blades, spine, the nape of his neck, and higher.

_Warm._

_Pliant._

A soft rumble rose among the deep, relaxed breaths, and it was another instinct, one that Fili usually managed to keep under control.

Kili smiled softly and thought of spring. 

One hand rose slowly, sliding through his chest hair and came to rest over his heart.

_Love._

Kili’s fingers dove back into the fluff, gently pushing one wing, then another this way or that, whatever he needed to get to the sensitive nerves in that tender spot between skin, bone and fuzzy membranes.

This earned him a low moan, which melted back into that helpless little purr.

_Awake?_

But there was no further movement beyond that, so Kili, in a long-established tradition of being a brat, swung one leg over both of Fili’s to wrap himself even more completely around his brother.

_Mine._

He luxuriated for a moment in the heat emanating through the bedding, the sound of the rain outside, in the smell of Fili’s hair, the softness of his skin and strength of the muscles beneath it, in the familiarity of the rise and fall of his chest and suddenly it wasn’t so hard to understand what it truly meant to share a soul and live for love. 

He rocked a tiniest bit against Fili’s hip, rubbing his sleep-relaxed length against the skin there and fought to keep down his own need to purr. 

The rumble swelled with an affectionate chuckle.

 _Dimples_.

He thought of spring again – not long now, perhaps two or three weeks – desire rekindled, but limited to little sparks only, nowhere near enough to feel truly good, just teasing himself and adding to the sense of satisfaction. 

He didn’t push for more, knew full well what happened to the fairies who got too worked up in the middle of the winter: they fell asleep hard and aching and dreamt of things they were too sleepy to have.

Kili usually ended up in that predicament at least three – four times each winter. 

But sometimes Fili’s fingers saved him and he could curl up and doze off again.

_Feel._

He knew he dug in particularly well when Fili actually stirred, arms shifting and coming to rest on top of his ass, giving him a firm and unashamed squeeze. 

“There will be food,” came Fili’s sleep-rough voice and Kili wanted –

_Kiss._

Fili knew, always, wanted the same, tilted his head and for a time there were only tongues and lips and the closeness they shared, until Kili shifted to the corner of Fili’s mouth, his jaw – nuzzling one ridiculous braidstache to the side with the tip of his nose – traced the line and dipped lower, over his pulse point – steady thrum of life – onto his throat. He wanted to kiss away the hoarseness, liked the way Fili just let him do this. 

“There will b- uh.” Fili tried again but was interrupted when a mark was sucked into his skin.

_Perfect._

“It’ll get wet.” He tried again.

“He covers it with a cloth if it’s raining.” Kili wasn’t quite ready yet to give up on the perfect weight in his arms –

Perfect weight which was shifting, stronger, always, than him, and a clever twist put it on top, both hands pinning his wrists to the pillows.

_Want you._

The soft ends of Fili’s hair tickled around his face and ears as Fili hovered above him –

 _Not yet_ , said the dark eyes, faintly glowing in the low light and there was something suspended between them in that moment, the same thing that lurked in Fili’s eyes moments before he thrust in deep and made Kili scream. 

_Fuck -_

His brother pulled back, fingertips sliding over his forearms and freeing them once again, but he stayed perched up comfortably on top of his hips, as if it was the most natural place to rest in the whole world.

“There could be something hot in there,” he observed cheerfully, tilting his head to listen to the weather outside.

“No.” Kili swallowed thickly. “If there’s something hot, he’ll keep tapping the nest until he sees me climb out.”

“Blimey Kili, you’ve got him well trained, don’t you?” Another affectionate chuckle.

_Dimples._

“In truth he’s trained himself.” Kili frowned, squirming at the feeling of having his wings trapped under him, by now reaching his limit. “Now then. Are you going to feed me or am I to waste away here, waiting for the seasons to change?”

“You’re such a brat!” Delighted this time, and another kiss, this one quick and full of joy and giving him what he needed without turning him on. “It’s your turn today too.” Fili grumbled, finally climbing off him and sticking his head outside.

Kili propped himself on his elbows and stretched lazily, watching Fili grab his coat and wrap it tightly around himself.

“I love you too.” He murmured when Fili took off.


	11. Like Two Peas in a Pod

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written by Linane.

Fili was woken up by the sounds of something sizzling. 

It was a slow and gentle awakening and he stretched lazily on his patch of grass, allowing his wings to spread wide against the strong sun. He already felt much better, just from the few hours basking outside. Sun was good for the fairies. It gave them the boost they needed after the long months in darkness. 

As they had feared, the spring came very late that year, but now that it was here, the fairies finally felt encouraged to venture outside of their cosy little nests.

There was still a bit of a breeze, and the chill wasn’t completely gone yet, but the weather went straight from one extreme to another, reaching almost summer-like temperatures in just a few short days. 

Fili played for a moment with some of the grass blades and quietly made Plans. 

Watering and general soil maintenance came first, of course. Then planting things and making sure they grew strong. They’d need beetles for that, and if they wanted some nice, well-trained grasshoppers for messages, now was the time to catch them.

He thought of Kili, always so happy to chase after the insects and work with them. Fili had little success training their seasonal friends, normally they just hopped out of his grasp and Fili found himself needing to fly over in person to pass on whatever message he needed. 

But Kili… Kili would just sweep the bug into his arms and walk or fly with it for a few hours, chattering to it excitedly, petting and stroking it and cooing softly. After that the creature wouldn’t probably even need to be kept in one of their massive cages. 

As much as Fili didn’t like to admit it, Kili had a way with insects. Bees allowed him to stroke their furry little collars, dragon flies hovered before him patiently and fireflies sometimes virtually flew into his hands.

Kili loved all things alive, marvelled at them, admired them and helped them wherever he could. He had a similar relationship with other fairies, and apparently some hobbits as well, come to think of it, and while this last skill had saved Fili’s life a few weeks back, in their daily lives it was the nice stock of insects that made their work so much easier.

But it also meant that when it was time to let their little buzzing friends go in the autumn, Kili suffered loneliness more than the other fairies and it was Fili’s job to cheer him up.

Both brothers were of the curious type, so the first spring garden inspections started a few days back, but after the events of the winter Kili hovered above him worriedly and carried around a shawl, which he kept wrapping around his shoulders whenever Fili settled down to rest a little. 

Fili didn’t have the heart to tell him off for it. It had been a horrible winter after all, for both of them.

He felt ready for the summer, ready to live and fly and be active and watch things grow. He was ready to hear Kili’s laughter once again. 

Most of their plants survived okay and with a bit of care, water and sun would soon start growing again. Several bulbs needed replacing, and of course the vines needed some guidance to grow properly, but Kili was already spending some of his time doting over the first delicate shoots and Fili felt life underneath his fingers wherever he touched the soil hiding his late-summer plants.

It was like re-visiting old friends, watching them grow strong all over again.

Fili smiled, rubbed at his eyes a little, yawned and sniffed the air. 

It carried the heavenly smell of food with it – not the dry and preserved food they had stored for the winter, not even the nice and fatty comfort food that the hobbit kept bringing them, no. 

This smelled like fresh, hot spring fairy food and Fili felt his mouth water. 

He looked around.

Kili must have left him to doze because he remembered falling asleep wrapped up in his brother, warm and comfortable and happy to watch the blue skies, but by now –

Kili hadn’t wandered off far. Perched on a slightly higher ground was a fire-pit with white-hot stones and their familiar metal frying plate stretched over them.

Ah, that explained the sounds of sizzling. 

Next to it Kili was bustling around and humming to himself, prodding the plate with his spatula from time to time. Fili smiled, watching his brother crack the first quail egg they found earlier onto the hot surface and attack it with his utensil.

His wings carried him closer almost without a conscious thought and he couldn’t help but return a smile when Kili beamed at him.

“Sleep well?” Kili looked him over, assessing, still, before leaning in to give him a peck to the cheek.

“Mmmm…” Fili agreed, hands chasing Kili’s waist.

“I thought you’d be hungry by now.” Kili allowed him to rest his head against the fluff between his wings and cheerfully started reaching for the other ingredients he had lined up. 

Ramps looked golden already – he must have smelled them earlier - the egg, some of their dried mushrooms – Fili scrunched up his nose, but didn’t object – and some of the meaty stuff the Hobbit brought them earlier that day. Kili made a quick job of getting everything stirred thoroughly through before reaching for something Fili didn’t spot at first.

“Peas? This early?”

“Not quite,” Kili skilfully opened the first pod with his knife and carefully fished out the biggest green pea to pass to Fili, keeping one for himself and scooping out the rest into their scrambled egg. “But I have managed to find two ripe pods – must have sowed wildly.”

Fili held the perfect green little ball in both his hands for a moment, inhaling the unmistakeable smell of spring before biting into the perfect, sweet interior. 

The burst of flavour against his tongue made him realise that they had both, indeed, made it through the winter. Fili felt and looked like his usual self, his skin had a healthy glow to it once more and he could only feel his ribs when he stretched lazily in bed. He was just a tiny bit more sleepy than normally in the spring and Kili kept shooting him glances when he thought Fili couldn’t see him. 

They were alive and they were together and now was the time to stay awake and have adventures, time for duties, and hard work and mischief, for flying freely, and for the delicious, debauched sex.

Fili loved spring. 

A kiss, this time on the lips, brought him out of his thoughts again and he leaned into Kili’s hand on his cheek automatically.

“Okay?” Kili looked him deep in the eye, one wooden plate forgotten in his other hand.

“Yes, sorry. I was just thinking that it’s bound to be a lovely summer.”

Kili stole another kiss and reached out to plate half of their scrambled egg and pass it to Fili. “I thought so too! Seen the first butterfly today.” He added cheerfully, collecting the rest onto his own plate and lowering himself to the grass.

“I think one of the caterpillars was perched just above our nest, oh, thank you –“ he picked the corn cake that Kili must have made earlier because it was still warm, split it in two between them and nibbled at the corner, “if we’re lucky perhaps we could see him transform?”

“We should name him.” Kili decided instantly, bringing their plates together so Fili could pick out the mushrooms and trade them for Kili’s peas. “Something epic, like… the Hurricane –“

“Jimmy.”

“Jimmy?”

“Yup. I spotted him first, I get to name him. He shall be Jimmy the Butterfly.”

Kili huffed and attacked his food, chewing thoughtfully for a while. “Fine. But when we go beetle and grasshopper hunting next week you can’t say anything if I give the ones I catch epic names.”

“Whatever you like, little brother. I’m sure the Growler will get on just fine with Steve and Millie.”


	12. Racing the Mist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written by Linane.

 

Kili stretched his wings all the way to the tips, enjoying the pull of muscles in his shoulders – tangible evidence of the productive morning he’d had, well spent on mischief and rivalry. 

“You sure you want to do this, Grasshopper? We’re on two-one – we said best of three, so I win this round and I will have won the whole game.” He eyed Ori stretched leisurely on the rocks beside him, lazily tracing the tip of his right wing which he’d managed to catch and looking entirely too confident for a fairy about to lose a game of racing.

“No,” Ori drawled out slowly, “what will happen, is _I_ will win this race and we’ll have a draw. And then if you’re ready to go one last time I will snatch the victory from right under your nose. I’ve told you before – you only won the first two races because you’re a hyperactive squirrel. You don’t know how to pace yourself.”

Kili was meant to feel indignant at this half-hearted insult (Kili was _not_ hyperactive, he just had lots of energy to burn off, thank you very much), but a glimmer of light on the riverbank to his right caught his eye and for a few glorious moments he watched as Fili, complete with his twin swords, pirouetted in the air, gained momentum and descended upon Dwalin like a hawk about too hunt down a door mouse. His brother was going through his paces with the older fairy and there was something about his movements – confident, fierce and so fluid that it felt like he was a force of nature himself – that turned Kili on more than any raunchy talk ever could. 

With Fili it had always been about the way he moved, even back in their earliest days, when he watched Fili land in between the fires, look him right in the eye and flex to the frantic rhythm of heartbeats only the two of them heard. It was about the way he made his body obey him and twist, the way his muscles were alive with each movement and the sheer power within each blow the two fairies exchanged. Fili wasn’t the strongest of the fairies, and although he was quick, he also wasn’t the fastest. But he had created and owned his own specific brand of _Fili-ness_ , a way of _swagerring_ his way through the world in a slightly irritating and completely irresistible way, which meant that Kili could close his eyes and feel him move nearby as distinct and familiar as if he was looking.

He jumped a little when next to him Ori cleared his throat noisily. “If you’re quite done getting all worked up about your brother getting his ass handed to him, I suggest we race before the sun is high enough in the sky to spoil our race track.”

“Ah, Grasshopper, but you’re enjoying this show no less than I am. I see Dwalin chose to forgo his shirt today…” Kili grinned, broad and friendly like only a good jibe could make it.

“Indeed, and this is something that I will enjoy discussing with him at length _later_ , but until then I’d like to establish that the two of you are doing our laundry in the upcoming week, seeing as you’re about to lose this race, weighed down by the boner in your pants.”

“I don’t –“

“Ready?” Ori assumed the starting position.

To the right Fili was thrown back several paces and landed heavily, his fur-lined boots scraping along the forest floor. His brother _growled_ low in his throat, as he threw himself right back at Dwalin. Kili gasped, his nether regions definitely giving an interested twitch, and realised, with terrifying certainty, that he _wasn’t_ ready at all.

“Three –“ Ori counted them down, his pale, cream-coloured wings with their beautiful rust-coloured edges and markings fluttering expertly behind him, “two – one – go!”

It was the same type of instant focus as was required when releasing an arrow that allowed Kili to make a clean start after all and the pure instinct of a fairy who had spent most of their life up in the air, that made him dip low into the heavy mist over the water, where his wings effortlessly picked up the faint wind that carried over the surface. 

Ori went high instead and soon Kili lost sight of him, instead allowing himself to feel his surroundings with his whole body, enjoy the flight and follow the little whispers that nature was offering rather than try to plough through it to win. 

After two frantic races, his wings ached – not quite wet, but already damp from the morning mist clinging to the delicate membranes. They were heavier now and it was harder to move them, which was another reason why Kili chose to completely follow his instincts. He could always fly longer if he relaxed into it – Fili had taught him that. Besides, Ori would lose time trying to avoid the low branches in his path. 

Kili shot across the perfect surface and the quiet, soothing trickle of water, smooth and graceful, carried by the delicate breeze and helping himself stay up in the air with a few well-paced thrusts of his wings. He laughed as his fingers touched the water surface, so close, but way too deep for any fairy to swim in. Instead he felt the water part around his skin, creating beautiful, delicate patterns on the otherwise unmarred liquid mirror.

He closed his eyes and let himself float, connected to the world he was a part of, but at the same time separate, controlling it and using it to his advantage. 

A long glide along a gentle curve of the stream to the right, the route familiar like the curve of Fili’s back from a hundred times he dove into the perfect and undisturbed, almost mystical atmosphere of the morning mist. It shrouded everything, stealing the sound from the wild calls of birds and twisting in alluring clouds for Kili to cut through.

A few urgent thrusts of his wings as he scaled a little waterfall and then Kili breathed in the dew and twisted his hip to the right, left, right, right and right again, curling himself away from the smooth, rounded boulders, acutely aware of the strain to his muscles now.

Kili virtually slingshot himself towards the forest opening before him as he caught glimpses of pale wings fluttering between the branches, safe from the worst of moisture high above the surface.

And then suddenly, the forest just ended and Kili navigated furiously through the low branches and the wealth of green leaves, bursting into the low and young rays of sunshine over a misty lake.

He shot upwards for a moment, couldn’t help the deep breath and an awed look at the panorama laid out in front of him, a sense of satisfaction that this was his to be a part of, washing over him. 

A streak of white whizzed past him in a perfect line cutting the lake diagonally and Kili made himself chase, drunk on the adrenaline and quickly making up the distance at a price of a slow burn setting into his back.

He bit his lip and ignored the discomfort, ignored the need to relax into the breeze, ignored everything except the sheer determination to reach the crooked log that was their finish line on the opposite shore.

Ori sped up as well and Kili was forced to try and keep up, even if he probably wouldn’t be able to land by now with his wings weighed down and aching as they were.

He was _not_ going to faceplant into the lake.

It had happened from time to time in the past; everybody had done it, misjudging their own stamina or colliding with some startled duck, and ending up in the water in a massive splash. Kili himself had done it on several occasions and he’d also seen Fili lose any appearance of dignity as he went down flailing, but ultimately, once you went under, it became less of a laughing matter and more of a life-threatening situation. 

The water was too deep and the wings weighed you down too much to allow for anything more than a handful of desperate seconds on the surface. If you were lucky, your friends would throw you a twig or some of the tall reeds that you could hold on to as they hauled you to the shore. Overall, the experience was far from pleasant and ultimately formed part of the appeal of the mist racing, which was all about the thrill of the chase, the danger and the calculation of how much you could take. 

Kili felt himself falter almost exactly in the middle of the lake and swore viciously, as he could do nothing to stop his descend –

He was saved by a pair of strong hands on either side of his ribs and a sudden burst of steady force, lifting him and leaving him free to just steer.

“You looked like you needed a lift!” said a flash of dimples and a flurry of golden hair and Kili was reminded why he trusted Fili with his life.

“Fly!” He howled, his own wings folding away behind him to offer minimal resistance and only using the very tips to keep them on course. 

It was hard on Fili of course, and would be difficult to maintain in the long run, but all they needed was the last thirty feet or so and his brother had not been fluttering his wings nearly as much as Kili had been that morning.

“You’re such a brat!” Fili shot back just as they made it past Ori, Ori who – the strangest of things - had Dwalin materialise out of thin air behind him to scoot him completely into his arms, only to throw himself after the brothers. 

Fili groaned, Kili held on to his shoulders for stability and watched the weathered bark of the log grow before them.

Dwalin and his precious bundle had been right there when Kili chose Fili’s safety over a week worth of free laundry and snatched one of the young willow twigs, using its flexibility and his own wings to lose some of their momentum, catching his brother and tumbling together with him to the grassy bank.

***

“You know, a few seconds earlier and we could have had them!” Kili grumbled, up to his thighs in the stream, hair tied up haphazardly on top of his head, as he rubbed the soapy fabric of his favourite blanket energetically between his knuckles.

“A few seconds later and I’d get to drag your sorry ass out of the water or watch you become food for the fish,” Fili observed philosophically, muscles in his naked torso flexing, as he rinsed his shirt and shook it out.

Kili licked his lips hungrily, his eyes following the bumps of Fili’s spine and the swell of his ass, as he climbed atop the nearest boulder to spread the garment out to dry.

Yes, Kili thought, with Fili it had always been about the way he moved.


	13. The Most Important Ingredient is Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written by Linane.

“That one looks like a cake!”

Fili thought perhaps Kili’s excited remarks would be less deafening if he rolled to the other side. It didn’t work as well as planned because the face of the rock they were perched on declined much more sharply than Fili had assumed. He scrambled wildly, trying to stop himself sliding.

Kili’s arm around his waist stopped him, like it always did when he needed it.

“Are you even listening to me?!”

“Of course.” Fili scoffed, edging backward in the least obvious way possible. “You were talking about cakes.” He gave up and rolled over to his other side again, ending rather closer to his brother than he’d intended. “Kili, that cloud is just round.”

“Exactly! Like a cake! Mmmm… Amad’s blueberry pie.” Kili’s face took an expression similar to the one he wore after a particularly satisfying round of sex. “I wonder if she’ll make any for the Harvest Celebrations this year.”

“You know she will. She always does. Can’t remember a year when she didn’t.” Fili finally found a comfortable position again and stretched contentedly to the very tips of his wings, watching the clouds slowly sailing past them.

“No, there was that one time she was going through a phase and we had a pie with _raisins_ in it!” Fili smiled. He knew Kili was making a face without having to look up. 

Kili ate it all the same of course, but there was no end to the hurtful looks and pouting, until Dis caved in and just as they were ready to settle in their nest for the winter, shoved a basket of blueberry cookies at them. Kili insisted that it needed to stay right by the entrance to their pantry, so it was within an easy reach for snacking. 

The cookies didn’t last three days.

“Adad seemed to like it.” Fili pointed out, conveniently leaving out that his own opinion was that it made a nice change for once. Kili accused him of taking ‘their’ side every time he did. 

“Adad is biased.” Kili announced, and curiously, his hand found its way into Fili’s hair causing a quiet little rumble of approval. 

Vali went as far as tricking them out of some of their share, so Fili suspected his attachment to the soft pastry went a bit further than his marital duties, but he chose not to argue. They had this conversation at least a dozen times already. 

“If you like it so much, perhaps this year you should finally learn how to make it?” he suggested instead. 

Kili had considered it several times before, but after they set fire to their roasted chestnuts last year and accidentally made popcorn two years ago, his brother needed a boost of confidence in his culinary skills. Fili also wasn’t entirely certain that any of the blueberries would make it to the actual ‘making the filling’ stage.

Fili could make a perfectly decent roasted squirrel or prepare and smoke a fish well enough that even Kili would eat it, but when it came to cakes he just wasn’t the sort of fairy to spend his days collecting sweet nectar and little bits of honey for the rare little treats. He _was_ however, a practical fairy, and he kept his faith that one day he would talk his brother into mastering the skill and then he’d be set up for life. 

“Maybe.” Kili hummed thoughtfully. 

The hand which had stopped while Kili considered, resumed its movement through his hair. He used the momentarily distraction to twist around and rest his head in Kili’s lap, where his hands had an easy access. 

“Perhaps I could experiment with gooseberries instead,” his brother considered out loud.

“You hate gooseberries. And you know she’d make you eat it, successful or not.”

“ _You_ like gooseberries. You could eat it!”

Fili arched an eyebrow. “Not as much as it would take you to do it properly. You overestimate how much I love you.”

“Never.” The absolute, complete certainty in Kili’s voice made something in Fili’s chest slowly blossom to the surface. “You’d complain and whine –“

“I don’t whine! When do I ever whine?!” Fili protested.

“- but you’d eat my failed gooseberry pie.” Kili bent nearly in half, silenced him with a slow, lazy kiss from above, those clever little fingers taking on a more purposeful approach as they carded through his strands and Fili knew he _would_. 

He’d eat every last sticky crumble.

“Besides,” Kili continued as if he hasn’t just brought Fili perilously close to moaning out loud, “how do you know I’d need more than one attempt? You never know, I could have a natural talent! You certainly _don’t_ , it must have gone somewhere in the family! I could whip up the most amazing pie of all time.”

“I’m sure.” Fili agreed in a way that clearly suggested he thought pigs would fly before he saw Kili turn master baker at his first attempt.

Kili laughed. “Ye of little faith.” He chided, leaning back with arms locked behind him, to look back at the sky again. 

There was a comfortable silence between them for a time.

“Master Hobbit makes a nice pie. He made an apple and raspberry one last week, I saw him leave a massive slice in front of Bombur’s home. The little ones demolished it before it was properly on the ground.” Kili’s voice took on a wistful quality and Fili opened his eyes to peer at his brother, his heart sensing something Kili needed.

“Mmm…” He hummed quietly, letting his eyes slide closed again.

“Do you think –“ came a surprisingly serious question after a long moment “- do you think we’ll stay? More than a winter or two, I mean”

“Would you like to stay here?” Fili asked, cathcing Kili’s hand in his own.

“It’s – Master Boggins is kind. I think he will help us for as long as he can.”

“But?” Fili prompted when Kili looked away, nose raised back towards the clouds.

“But I think uncle will never agree to this. He thinks we would be… trapped. He doesn’t like relying on the good will of others.”

“He believes we belong elsewhere. Somewhere where we don’t need to hide any more, nor fear for our lives. He just wants what he knows his people are capable of having.”

“We’ve never seen Erebor.” Kili pointed out. “Do you really think it was as magnificent as they say?”

The Lonely Mountain Peaks and the lush valley of Erebor stretching between them were often a topic of heated conversation between them. They grew up on the tales of streams and forests and magnificent fairy homes hewed from rock – a place where everything grew and no Big Folk ever ventured, where fairies created items of stunning beauty and practiced their craft. A place where they could be free, safe and happy. 

The paradise lost with the arrival of Smaug.

They discussed Erebor until it grew into this impossibly perfect dream, made more wonderful each time they considered some hardship they endured and how it would be nothing like that in Erebor. 

“I think –“ Fili searched the beloved expressive face, read it like he read Kili’s heart, “- I think the answer to this question won’t be enough to sway you. There is more.” He said simply.

Kili sent him a thoughtful frown, but didn’t try to skirt around the topic. It was just the two of them after all. “It's just… Nowhere before felt like home, you know? There were places I liked and the ones I didn’t, made bearable because we were together. But this… this feels like home. With Master Boggins’ daft barn housing his solitary cow and the chickens, placed right on top of the best clay deposits, with his disorganised garden, full of more flowers than anybody in their right mind should need, his cosy home with invitingly open windows… It just feels like home, Fili.” 

“Then we will stay.” Fili said quietly, and pressed a gentle kiss to the inside of Kili’s palm.

“Thorin will never agree. You’re his heir!” Kili threw him a stormy look.

“As are you.” Fili reminded him, smiling softly. “Thorin has a responsibility to his people. I have a responsibility to your heart, first and foremost.” Kili was about to protest, but Fili hushed him. “Besides, the others might feel the same. Bofur will stay, regardless of what Thorin decides, and with him likely Bifur. Even Thorin won’t go against the will of his people.”

“You would do this?”

“Are you happy? Right now, here, are you happy?”

“I’m happy with you. But there are more ways to clip one’s wings than one, and I don’t want –“

“Kili.” Fili raised himself on one elbow and leaned in close, “let me follow my heart and let yourself follow yours.”

They breathed together, forehead to forehead, both relieved and afraid at the same time, but together, always. And then they kissed, slowly, leisurely, the sort of kisses that belonged in the height of summer and were usually the only answer they needed.

There were precious few circumstances when Fili dared to be selfish and fewer still when Kili dared to ask. But this was about where they belonged and, much like their pull towards each other, they felt it in their bones. 

“We’ll stay.” Fili repeated, one hand in Kili’s hair, keeping them grounded together.

Kili just nodded slowly.

“- And we should learn how to make pies.” Fili grinned at him, sitting up and stretching. “It will be too early for the blueberries yet, but if I help you look for the blackberries do you think you can get amad to give us her recipe?”

Kili’s responding grin was blinding. “You just want to use my culinary mastery!”

“That mastery lead you to burn our milk only this morning. I better help you, if we want to have a surprise ready before the next Harvest.”

“You had come back from the stream dripping wet and naked! What did you think would happen!?”

The two fairies took off simultaneously, the air ringing with laughter and Kili’s excited voice when he found a cloud that looked suspiciously like a dragon.


	14. I Would Trade My Life for Yours -Part 1

Kili was tired. 

They’d spent their entire morning digging up the soil for the crocus bulbs and they must have planted about a dozen of them. His shoulders ached from moving the heavy bulbs and although Fili carefully wrapped his hands in strips of fabric Kili could swear his brother had blisters from working with the shovel. Luckily, there was only one bulb left to plant and then they’d be done. 

They could of course return and ask Amad if she needed help with anything else, but by Kili’s reckoning they were due a reward and some rest. 

At the tender age of thirty-seven the absolute _best_ way to unwind meant an expedition to the fallen tree trunk, where Kili could climb to his heart’s content and search for new and fascinating types of beetles for his little collection, while Fili practiced his knife-throwing skills.

His brother insisted Kili regularly got in trouble – which, okay, was true – from which he regularly needed to be rescued – this _wasn’t_ true, he could cope perfectly well by himself, thank you very much. Although they have always been virtually inseparable, there were times when Fili just couldn’t get to him quickly enough to help him, so he taught himself knife-throwing. And axe-throwing. Anything-throwing really, he once scared a pheasant away with a well-aimed acorn! 

Fili’s aim was indeed excellent, but only because he insisted on practising with his knives every waking hour of the day, whereas Kili, of course, was a natural talent (that one time he knocked over Mrs. Bombur’s flower pot non-withstanding). The bottom line was: Kili couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t familiar with Fili’s blades and Fili found his routine with the deadly weapons almost therapeutic.

Yes. This trip would do nicely. And Kili was due a new pet, really, and there was this crook where – 

He wondered if Fili would be okay to train with his weapons if his hands were injured from the long hours of shovelling soil around. He took a moment to watch from the distance as Fili straightened and wiped the sweat from his forehead. 

They were both tired, perhaps too tired for wild adventures, so perhaps if knife-throwing turned out to cause too much discomfort, Fili could just have a nice little nap on the soft moss, while Kili explored. 

Fili liked sleeping. Compared to Kili, who always seemed to be full of boundless energy and eager to investigate _everything, instantly_ , Fili was boring with how he would just curl up, pull his wings over himself, watch him lazily for a while but ultimately doze off before long (Fili always claimed that it was because of how exhausting looking after Kili was, but Kili didn’t _need_ looking after so that clearly couldn’t be it). 

For the time being, Kili thought perhaps he could find some buckhorn to help with the blisters, although Fili would no doubt insist that they were nothing. Kili hovered along the edge of the little clearing for a while, searching for the herb he wanted, happily pondering their afternoon.

He was just reaching for the familiar rounded leaves he wanted, when he heard a frustrated buzzing coming from underneath it. That got his attention, but mindful of his previous experience touching the things he shouldn’t have touched, Kili picked up a little twig first before using it to gingerly lift the leaf.

The little black-and-yellow thing was covered in mud to the point that it was hard to tell what exactly it was. Kili thought back to the last night’s downpour and imagined the pitiful creature getting caught in it. 

“Poor little bee.” Kili instantly sympathised, picking the muddy bundle in his hands and gently brushing it off. “Let me help you,” he cooed softly, well-familiar with the insanely-uncomfortable feeling of muck-covered wings. 

The bee gave another frustrated buzz and tried to lift off heavily, but Kili caught it, intent on finishing the task. He’d always found bees rather adorable – they were useful, they worked really hard and their little fluffy collars always reminded him of Fili somehow. There was also the fact that they produced honey, which was Kili’s absolute favourite, so he often followed them around in hopes of finding some secret hive that would miraculously remain unguarded and open for Kili to indulge himself.

“Kili!!” Fili was flying closer, staring at the insect in his grasp suspiciously, a deep frown on his face – 

Kili turned around just as the bee struggled in his hands, twisting its back in an odd way –

“It’s a wasp!” 

There was a flash of something hurtling towards it before Kili could process the danger he was in.

Fili’s knife didn’t quite kill it, but it had cut one of the wings, causing the wasp to break free from Kili’s grasp and spin wildly around just in front of his face.

“Stay away from it!!”

He fell back with a terrified screech, but by now the wasp was really furious, flying right at him and Kili raised his arms to protect himself, but Fili was right there in the next moment, pushing him away a split second before –

He watched in slow motion as the wasp twisted, the sting appeared and dug deep into Fili’s chest. They were connected by a thin string for a moment, but then the insect jerked and stumbled away, mortally wounded and instantly forgotten.

“FILI!!” 

Kili caught him just as Fili cried out in pain, clutching at his chest and falling down to his knees.

“Fili?!” 

The sting was at least as thick as Kili’s little finger and black, protruding from between Fili’s fingers where he clutched at it automatically. He’d been stung almost directly above his heart, the skin around the wound beginning to swell almost before Kili’s eyes. There wasn’t that much blood, but some instinct told him that this was much, much worse, as the lethal poison continued to drip into his brother’s body.

“Kili –“ it was weak and hoarse, strained, as Fili stared at his chest in shock, “get –“ he groaned painfully and slid lower to the ground, words choked off to hold back a cry.

“What do I do? Fili, what do I do?!” Kili held onto him, as his brother arched up, grinding his teeth while the poison spread through his system like wild fire.

“Get – get it out,” he managed, before the pain became too much and Fili could only grunt.

“Are you sure?! What if –“

“Ki – Kili – You ‘ave to,” came halted words, “please – I can’t…”

There wasn’t any time for this, Kili decided, wild-eyed and starting, as the swelling spread and Fili’s frantic breaths shortened until nothing but a horrible wheezing could be heard. He had never seen Fili struggling this much just to breathe, to hold back the agony and just stay conscious, and Kili felt his own reactions slow down sluggishly as the shock set in.

He couldn’t think about what he was about to do, couldn’t think full stop, not now, he just needed to act -

He wrapped his shaking hand around the protrusion, looked to Fili’s ashen face and yanked the sting hard.

Kili would never forget the blood-curdling scream he caused. 

Fili jerked so hard he slipped from Kili’s grasp and landed heavily on the ground, twisted violently, his legs kicking out and hitting the dirt, while his wings flapped wildly behind him.

For a long moment Kili just shook in complete terror, convinced that he had just killed his brother. There was blood _now_ , so much blood bubbling up from between Fili’s fingers as he writhed on the ground, but seconds passed and Fili wasn’t stilling, his entire body spasming, cries cut off short when he struggled to draw breath. 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He tried to hold his head in his lap, tried to kiss his forehead, tried to stop the blood with his hand over Fili’s. 

Tears streaming down his face he tried dragging Fili back towards their village, but his brother’s bigger frame was just too heavy for him to manage more than a few feet. “Help,” he whispered, the instinct finally kicking in. “Heeeelp!” Louder this time, fuelled by rage, denial and fear, until he was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Eventually it was Dwalin who found them first. Took a single glance at the wound and wordlessly lifted Fili in his arms, flying as fast as he could towards their little village. It took Kili several seconds to get to his unsteady wings and follow, but if Fili was dying, then he needed to be there with him.

They were separated when Dwalin landed at Oin’s doorstep, calling for the healer, shoving inside and laying Fili flat on the smoothly-polished tree stump which Oin used as his table.

It was then that Kili realised that Fili wasn’t moving, deathly white all over, as if all his blood had been drained from him and Kili felt something inside him break apart and let go.

He howled in inconsolable grief and scrambled towards him, even as numerous arms held him back. He fought, like he never fought before to be allowed with his brother, to see, to be closer, to beg forgiveness.

“Get him away.” Thorin’s voice.

“NO!! FILI!! FILIIIIII!!!” He screamed in complete blind panic, unable to comprehend that the world could end just like that, but they were pulling him back and there were too many – friends and family, traitors, all of them – until eventually something hit the back of his head and the world was blissfully switched off.


	15. I Would Trade My Life for Yours - Part 2

When he came round again he couldn’t remember what had happened. 

Oin was there, shoving something to his lips, demanding he drank the bitter-tasting liquid and Kili stared at him in confusion. There was urgency in the healer’s movements as if something had gone horribly wrong, but –

He caught a glimpse of golden hair nearby, slick with sweat, bandages covering his chest, and little breathless whimpers of pain.

“Fili!!” He made it off the bed, but passed out from the strong sleeping potion before he made two steps.

***

“The sting missed his heart by millimetres. Instead it pierced his lung, paralysed the flesh around it. The swelling nearly caused the whole lung to collapse, but fortunately there wasn’t quite enough venom for that. He was lucky to have had the sting removed in time, and to be so young. There is something to be said for the stamina of the little ones.”

“He’s barely more than a child! To think that he could –“

“Then he is wise beyond his years. He shielded his brother, perhaps saved his life. But there is more.”

“More?”

“You have seen Kili _react_. You have seen him fight and scream as if his very soul was being ripped out. Such fierce loyalty can suggest only one thing…”

“They have always been close…”

“Perhaps it is too early to tell. But I have seen this before and I have been helpless watching them fade. If one brother is lost, the other will be as well, of that I am certain. Exactly what their hearts feel, I cannot tell.”

***

The same scenario repeated at least three or four times before Kili managed to retain enough information to plead before he was made to sleep again.

“Please! He’s alive, isn’t he?!” He demanded, spitting out the liquid, pulling at the bindings (when have they tied him down?!) “Just tell me! I just need to know if he will live!”

“That remains to be seen, laddie.” Said a kind voice as the little bit he had inadvertently swallowed made him sleepy and pliant enough to force more down his throat.

***

When he woke up the next time he was no longer restrained and nobody was trying to force him to drink a sleeping potion.

“Now if ye behave, you can stay up.” Said Dwalin’s voice, placed strategically between him and his brother. “If ye don’t – well, I won’t be needing Oin’s potion to switch off your lights, lad.”

“Please. I just want to see him. Is he -”

“He’ll live.” Oin this time, to his side, helping him off the cot. “He needs a lot of rest and will be unconscious for a while yet, but he will live to tell the tale.”

Fili was white as a sheet and his chest was raising unnaturally slowly, but he was no longer twisting in pain. 

Kili hesitated before touching the side of his face, feeling the heated skin. “It’s all my fault.” He whispered, feeling the annoying tears gather in the corners of his eyes. “I am so, so sorry, Fee.”

“Oin says he would be dead if not for someone removing the sting before all the venom was released. And that someone sure as hell wasn’t me.” Dwalin placed a heavy hand over his shoulder. “You saved his life, lad.”

“His life wouldn’t _need_ saving, if not for my stupidity.” Kili gave up and allowed the bitter tears to slide down his cheeks, his hand stroking the familiar, golden tresses.

Dwalin snorted. “Aye, you were foolish. Aye, it got yer brother hurt. You made a mistake. You will know better next time.”

“In thirty years’ time you will both be laughing about this.” Oin tried to lighten the mood, shuffling on the other side of Fili’s bed. 

Kili couldn’t imagine thirty years from now on. He couldn’t imagine a week from now on, couldn’t imagine facing Fili ever again. He couldn’t imagine Fili would ever forgive him and if Fili hated him then Kili – Kili just wouldn’t know how to live. 

He was allowed to curl up carefully at the very edge of Fili’s cot and sobbed helplessly with relief and fear and regret and lessons learned the hard way, until he fell into exhausted sleep once again.

***

He was woken up by someone tracing the contour of his ear. 

Kili looked up, and right into the glossy blue eyes. 

“Hey.”

“Fili! You’re awake! I was so worried, I’m so –“

“Shhhh…” Fingers in his hair, stroking, soothing, little gestures he’s known all his life. “You okay? Did it hurt you?”

“No. But you’re –“

“I’ll be okay.” A ghost of his usual cocky smile. “I’ll have the most amazing scar ever, I bet!”

At the tender age of thirty-seven, and having nearly lost his brother Kili couldn’t bring himself to share in Fili’s attempts at humour. “Are you… Are you very mad at me?” his voice sounded very small even to his own ears. “I’m sorry. It must hurt something horrible.”

The world blurred and Kili couldn’t bring himself to look at Fili anymore. He didn’t mean to get Fili hurt, why couldn’t he just leave the damn insect alone?!

“Hey, slowpoke.”

“I’m not –“ he flared instinctively, whirling around, but swallowed the rest of the words as the tears slid down his cheeks at the sight of Fili’s chest covered in bandages.

“It’s my job.” Fili whispered. “I’m your big brother, I can’t just let you get killed out there. I can’t –“ it sounded like something caught in Fili’s throat when he said, “not you.”

Kili couldn’t hold himself back any more, held Fili’s hand to his lips and sobbed until he had no tears left. Fili let him, wordlessly, slowly, with enormous effort shoved over to pull him under the covers.

“Amad is likely to ground you for about a hundred years.” Fili whispered into the brown hair when the worst of the sobs have subsided, sounding worryingly matter-of-factly and nodding to himself. “Perhaps two hundred. You’ll be an old man before you’re allowed outside again.”

Kili sniffed and peered up, a mixture of shame, guilt and regret fighting for dominance in his mind. He was about to say that he probably deserved it when Fili added, “unless of course we were to say that it attacked you unprovoked”, his face stretching into a mischievous, if tired smile.

“You’d –“

“Who else am I going to have adventures with, silly? I still need my sidekick,” he announced in that really annoying self-confident way he had.

But right now Kili wouldn’t refuse to be Fili’s shadow, much less his companion, allowed to share in adventures. But then again. That would be too easy.

“On what terms, exactly, are we defining the position of a sidekick…?” he prodded carefully, curling back into Fili’s shoulder and pulling their covers up and over their heads. Such contracts were best discussed in private and everybody knew that the secrets shared under the covers couldn’t be heard from outside.

They were at the cusp of their teenage years now, with all the confidence of an adult, except for those few times, when their little hearts trembled and they clung to each other for dear life. They would deny the tears they shared to the end of their days, but right now all that mattered was that it was still the two of them against the world.

***

_40 years later._

Fili twitched when the buzzing sounded even closer than the last time, but forced his fingers to resume work on Kili’s flower crown. There was no need for alarm. The insect was just as likely to fly away as it was likely to –

His fingers crushed the delicate stem of a buttercup when the buzzing sounded much closer than before. Fili grit his teeth, smoothed out the mangled stem and forced himself to pay attention to the task at hand.

It was the height of summer and that meant the Summer Festival celebrations and the time of the flower crowns. To that end, Fili was currently perched in the middle of a gently sloping meadow, up until a few moments ago merrily making a crown for Kili.

Kili, who, curse the little brat, was nowhere to be seen, having gone to fetch some more flowers for the industrial enterprise taking shape nearby.

Nobody could say that Bofur wasn’t taking his newly found One seriously. Bilbo Baggins was perhaps a bit overgrown for a proper fairy, but that didn’t seem to stop Bofur enjoying any and all of the typical courting traditions. The hobbit for his part, approached his attempts with interest and good cheer.

Bofur was a fairy in love and he was _determined_.

As for the Festival, he was convinced that Bilbo was going to have his own flower crown and an excellent one at that. That had lead Bofur to enlist the help of his many tiny nieces and nephews, Bifur and all of the Ri family, who were all being paid for their services in good, cheerful stories (of which he seemed to have an unlimited supply).

Fili listened and watched the small gathering a few feet downhill sat in a loose circle, twisting the flowers together with various degrees of enthusiasm. Bofur was just about to fall over with the grand culmination of his latest story (Fili knew it by heart and it brought to mind many happy memories of his childhood) while his little workforce paused in their efforts and held their breaths.

He smiled and hoped that Bofur never ever changed.

As for his own efforts, they were nothing quite as, well, big. His own hair was already adorned with a beautifully crafted crown made out of bluebells, daisies and forget-me-nots. Kili liked him in blue, always said that it suited him more than his usual browns and linen colours and the bluebells smelled heavenly.

Fili was making a simpler one, but thicker and heavier for Kili – his twist consisted of clovers, buttercups and lilly of the valley, which always left his brother’s hair smelling nice. 

He jumped, but repressed the urge to scream and run, when the buzzing sounded right next to his ear. Instead he squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to sit perfectly still. It wouldn’t attack unprovoked. It wouldn’t. To the insect he was just a flower, just a little collection of flowers, so there was no need to panic –

“Hello, gorgeous! You seem a bit confused,” a bit more buzzing and Fili held his breath, “no, he’s not a flower, darling. Although with those looks I can see why you’d get confused. But you’re quite a pretty little bee yourself, aren’t you?”

Fili rolled his eyes, but relaxed a fraction because there was a familiar flutter of wings, and a hello kiss to his cheek, and a reassuring forehead-bump to his temple. Kili winked at him, a fat yellow and black bundle perched happily in his hands, before retreating with it a fair distance, chattering to the poor thing all the way. 

“Don’t worry, it’s not you, honest. You’re adorable, yes, you are. He’s normally a sweetheart, he just gets a bit shy around you flying little fluffballs, yes, look at your cute little collar, but really you are very much alike, I assure you. Between you and me, he can get horribly grumpy if you try to eat anything off him, I wouldn’t risk it. There was this one time when I had some maple syrup and I thought I licked it off real clean - He was still complaining about things sticking to his chest two days later, can you believe it?!”


	16. Never Let Me Go

The days were odd back in the tail end of November - too late for any real work to be done, too early for the full-time winter sleep. Fairies would happily nap for fifteen - eighteen hours a day, but the remaining few they spent awake gave them an opportunity to experience a rare thing in a fairy life: snow.

Hobbiton was covered early, signalling a long and cold winter, similar to the last few years. It settled in quick and heavy, and stayed for fairies to explore.

Some families, especially older dwarves, were already settled in for the winter and saw no reason to move from their cosy nests, not even for the white fluffy stuff. But the little ones (and quite a few of the adult fairies who should really know better) - well, they had an agenda of their own.

There were snowball fights. Tiny fluffy missiles cris-crossed the sky, the little folk taking their battles extremely seriously indeed.

A battle is a battle after all.

Soon it was nest against nest, family against family, fortifications erected around the nests tall and strong, more than once at the price of a wet collar, soaked boots or lumps of snow wedged deep in the ear. And if occasionally a parent got drafted into that apparent war or shrieked in deep indignation as snow landed in the carefully collected and _dry_ fluff - well, that was just getting into the spirit of things, wasn't it?

Besides snowball fights, fairies also found snow to be a surprisingly accommodating building material, allowing for various castles, snow-fairies (surviving autumn leaves stuck in their back for wings) and assorted ice sculptures to be created.

There was falling over, snow eagles, sliding down the hill of Bilbo's compost mound on smoothly polished bits of bark and even a one-cat-open-sledge, which lasted about forty five minutes and managed to cover about three feet.

It was a brisk morning and only the second day of the snow, when Fili and Kili snuck out of their nest (taking cover under low bushes and viciously firing back at those who spotted them) to explore the pond behind Bilbo's house. It wasn’t that big or overly deep, during the summer accommodating a lovely colony of water lilies, so the hopes were that the pond had frozen over.

They were not disappointed.

There was an already sizeable population of the little ones and their disgruntled guardians complaining about the ungodly temperatures, but they also spotted Ori, Nori and surprisingly, Bifur, among the children.

By the looks of things there were several good, smooth, tried and tested slides, which you were meant to complete in a certain sequence, queuing where the tiniest ones weren't comfortable going as fast as the older ones, causing delays.

Kili stretched and smiled slowly. This was going to be excellent indeed.

"Together?" He asked, eyeing the furthest and longest slide gleefully.

"If you can keep up." Fili was already running towards the first slide, his thick winter fur boots squeaking in the snow.

Kili followed in delight. They were going to show everyone how it was done, and done in _synch_.

 

\---

 

Half an hour in and Kili had a little gathering of faithful followers. He held an absolute record of speed across the course of all seven slides (Fili would have beaten him in this, if not for the fact that he slipped on the last one, landed squarely on his face and had to retire for a bit. So there. As far as Kili was concerned he'd won fair and square). He clearly had the best style - his stance low and proclaimed 'cool' - and his balance was – well, okay. Nori had a better balance (did the whole course backward once) than him. But only a bit.

He peered at Fili at the shore, (currently sipping their hot apple juice and patiently batting off a small flock of concerned mothers, who all wanted to check on his face) and decided to go for another speed run.

Short one, two strong steps, short one, three steps aaaand - long one, Kili twisted towards the end, narrowly avoiding a toddler who decided to slide in the wrong direction, curved one, three steps, short o-

He heard the crack on his third step, but his momentum had been far too great to stop. The ice opened and swallowed him whole in a split second.

The pain registered first, especially in the wings and the exposed sections of the skin at their base, like a thousand knives stabbing at him simultaneously.

He cried out, choked on water, swallowed and it was like the knives now in his throat, in his lungs and his chest.

Instinct kicking in, his legs beat the water furiously, to the surface, higher, catch the edge, _out_ , in that brittle moment when his mind hasn't yet processed the deadly danger he was in, and tried to rationalise that he'd only slipped and perhaps could still get out with a minimal damage to his pride.

The panic set in when the cold-paralysed fingers clawed at nothing but a solid sheet of ice above him. He must have shifted underwater in his struggles and could no longer find the original hole. Arms and legs felt heavy, lungs hurt, clinging to the last remnants of air, trapped by the sheer instinct.

Kili screamed, or tried to, last precious bubbles leaving his mouth, fists and fingernails pounding at the darker area in the ice. He smashed into it with everything he had, wings beating furiously to lend him strength, last sparks of energy spent trying to find enough momentum to break through.

There was a hand. Strangely, illogically, there was a hand splayed wide on the other side of the ice above him, but by now the waterlogged wings, the heavy clothing and his own body felt like they were weighing him down and Kili felt himself sinking, helpless to do anything but trash furiously, weakly, his blurred vision on the fading light above him, and that hand, as he descended into the dark, murky depths. He reached out a hand to touch it, but weakly now, longed for the warmth of fingertips against skin.

 _Fili_ , he thought, for a brief moment angry that they didn’t have enough time, stronger than the agony, or the overwhelming tiredness.

Consciousness faded slowly, his vision dimming as his heart pulsed with pain, with cold, with regret, beating once –

Twice –

Three times –

Fingers closing around his wrist and yanking hard barely registered. A spike of pain when his wing caught on one of the sharp ice edges was what slammed the awareness back into Kili and his legs kicked out on instinct, even as someone hauled him upwards with all their strength.

Kili spluttered, precious air suddenly available to the lungs filled with water and he managed to claw at the edge before his body took over and he retched violently, coughing and gasping for breath in between.

The ice cracked again and disappeared from underneath him but he didn’t go under. The hands around his wrist never let him go and soon other pairs of hands were there, helping lift him out of the water and half-carrying, half-sliding him towards the shore.

He looked up and he saw Fili, face white as a sheet and tight, closed off, entirely focussed on the task at hand, his wings beating furiously around him and Kili thought _I love you_ because he could, because not everything was lost yet. He looked down and he saw the smooth expanse of white and the long slide, the third one and the drops of blood dripping onto it.

“Kili? Kili! Look at me, listen to me!” The moment they hit the shore Kili curled up into a ball and shook violently, – with the cough, the cold, the shock – as warm, soft clothes were wrapped around him. He blinked and tried to focus on the voice, spotted the wide blue eyes, with those stupid crinkles in the corners, tried to smile and promptly vomited some more water onto the snow.

Arms held him up and kind hands held his hair out of the way. “You’re okay. You’re okay. Just breathe, breathe with me,” somebody was repeating and he wanted to lean into that voice and search for warmth.

He remembered his body tilting and collapsing like his strings had been cut, coming to rest against a familiar chest. The first deep breath he was able to draw smelled like Fili’s hair and Kili didn’t resist the darkness that claimed him.

 

\---

 

The next thing he remembered was hands on his body, tugging the wet cloth away with shaking fingers.

“He’ll be fine. You just need to raise his –“ Kili drifted out of focus, inhaled another deep breath full of _Fili_.

“- the apple juice. As much as he can – from the inside as well as –“ He couldn’t stop the trembling. Why were they taking away his clothes? He needed his clothes.

“Kili?” Kind, loving. “Lean on me. Going to get you in the nest now, going to warm you up.” Hands helping lift him.

Softness.

Fur against skin.

Skin against skin - _warmth_.

“C’mere.” Tired.

Arms, legs around him, touch like burning and somebody pouring something hot down his throat. It hurt, but he forced himself to drink.

“Shhhh… shhhhh… Hold on.”

He still couldn’t stop shaking, his breaths coming in little gasps, but he curled up around the smaller body, leeching the warmth until they were both shivering. The fingers on his back, drawing him flush felt like fire and his wing pulsed with pain.

“I’ve got y-you. Just – h-hold on.”

“S-sorry.”

So close now that he couldn’t tell where one of them ended and the other started. Nothing but skin, warmth, softness and heartbeat.

“Brat.”

 

\---

 

Waking up was like emerging from a tomb. But there was skin, so much skin, completely flush with his and he was wrapped up in Fili, every limb, every angle, every touch surrounding him, cradling, holding him in place.

Kili moaned and tightened his grip. It wasn’t sexual, this thing. It was about absolute closeness which he now had. Cocooned from head to toe in furs, covers and blankets, and pressed against the warmth of Fili’s body, Kili felt sleepy and tired, not entirely certain that what he remembered had really happened. Winter dreams could be tricky, continuing on for hours and days, until the mind skirted the boundary between the reality and dream like a pebble bouncing off the water surface.

“Fee?” He used the nickname from the time when they were dwarflings, because there was still some sort of a fear rooted deep in his bones, and it brought him comfort.

“How are you feeling?” One cool hand settled on his forehead and Kili closed his eyes.

“Hot. Woozy. Tired. Did I –?”

“Yes, you nearly drowned,” fingers in the fluff on his back, carding there and Kili could feel a little twitch at the words and Fili was rarely afraid but he was afraid now - Kili could tell by the rhythm of his heartbeat.

“You pulled me out. It was your hand. I thought I was going insane,” he murmured, kissing Fili’s face.

There was a mirthless laughter. “I think Nori might have a broken nose. We will have to apologise later. He was trying to hold me back. He should know better than to stand between a fairy and his One.”

“You broke through the ice,” Kili stared into the calm blue eyes, disbelieving. “You broke through the ice to pull me out. You could have drowned!”

Fili gave a sad little smile at the outraged expression on Kili’s face. “I could feel your heart slowing down and I thought that this couldn’t be it, not now, not when we have found this place. Be angry with me if you must, but we both know that if it was me under water, you’d do the same. Only perhaps you’d break more noses…”

Kili had no words to that, so instead he pressed his face to the crook of Fili’s neck and closed his eyes, when deft fingers found their way into his hair.

“I could never be angry with you, not for something like this. Not for fighting for me. You’re fighter Fili, and I love you. I’m sorry I scared you. It all happened so fast, I barely felt the ice opening.”

“I know. Kili, there were little ones there too…”

Kili jerked away, suddenly terrified. “Was anyone else –“

“No, no,” Fili reassured him. “They were all a good distance away and they all took off as soon as you went under. There was a fair bit of screaming though and most of them will think twice before going on ice again. They wouldn’t leave until you woke up. I think you have quite a following by now.” Fili smiled gently. “In truth though, it could have happened to anyone: me, Bofur, Nori or one of the kids. It’s nobody’s fault, even if it was horrifying to watch.”

“I couldn’t find my way out,” Kili admitted, feeling better knowing that nobody else was hurt. “I tried to, Fili, I really did.”

“Shhh… I know. You weren’t too deep under the ice,” Fili paused, hesitated before he said, “I’m sorry I hurt your wing. There was so much blood at first, I thought it was far more serious.”

Kili moved his wing tentatively. He could feel the slow pulsing pain close to the tip, but it was manageable, perhaps subdued by the willow bark extract Fili must have poured down his throat at one point.

“Oin put in the stitches, but only two, in the finest silk thread, so I should be able to take them out in a few days,” Fili sounded somehow small and Kili couldn’t stand it.

“Fili, you _saved my life_ ,” he leaned in to finally kiss those warm lips, “And you risked yours to do it. I’ll be as good as new a few days and we will laugh about it in a few years. It barely even hurts. The important part is that I’m alive because of you -”

Kili felt those sinful lips twisting into a smile before he saw it.

“- Again,” Fili pointed out and Kili rolled his eyes.

“Shut up,” he huffed and kissed his brother harder to wipe that smug grin from his face. “Shut up and get me some hot blackcurrant juice with honey. I think I’m coming down with a cold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Tumblr, [here](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	17. Sleeping in Starlight

 

This winter’s nest was without a doubt the best nest they have ever built.

In fact, Fili was already considering if the sturdy skeleton might survive several seasons and be re-used, with minimal repairs, next year.

The biggest and best modification they have thought of was a net supporting their bedding of poplar fluff, effectively dividing the main wicker basket into two compartments. It meant that Biblo was now able to easily replace their hot stone through the little door the designed for him, without having to disturb their sleep or brush off the valuable fuzz which invariably ended up clinging to the surface of the stone. They have spent several long days darning the net and hooking it securely into the walls of the basket (darning was Kili’s least favourite activity in the whole world, which he informed Fili of at least several hundred times) but it worked perfectly. It was strong enough to support any weight and prevent them from losing any fluff, but permeable enough that the heat penetrated through easily.

The net created a bespoke hot stone compartment, where the walls of the basket were reinforced with high quality clay, both from the outside and the inside to create an impenetrable shell. It was amazing how much difference that had made and Fili wouldn’t have guessed it, when Bombur first suggested using a stone oven for inspiration.

Then there was the usual thick, soft and well-loved layer of fluff, about a dozen of Kili’s favourite pillows and piles and piles of furs, warm and perfect for snuggling into.

The structure was completed by a domed ceiling made from flexible wicker twigs twisted to form a support for the protective leather hood, well-oiled to ensure that any rain or snow, slid right off it.

Even the access to their pantry was now direct from the nest itself, eliminating the need to fly through the nasty weather outside. There was a short corridor reinforced with clay and lined with a long, thin strip of fur for comfortable crossing, even once the whole structure froze over, as intended.

Fili smiled contentedly and tore off another chunk of the lush meat from the chicken drumstick he was just about cleaning up. In order to achieve what they did, they had to start as early as September, but by Mahal, was it worth it.

It was beyond cosy. There were no leaks, draughts or even cold patches, as the whole structure was warmed right through from the bottom. Everything was soft, comfortable and functional; it felt clean and smelled nice from the little bundles of lavender they tucked in the sides.

It felt like home. A safe haven from the deadly world outside.

And in the middle of it all was Kili.

Dozing curled up around a pillow in his brother’s absence, mouth slightly ajar, his dark, rich hair strewn around him in the fluff. He was only half covered by the soft squirrel fur, with his back and wings exposed carelessly, allowing them to flutter freely from time to time. The injured edge of one wing was healing up nicely and Kili claimed it stopped hurting over a week ago, which eased Fili’s mind a little. Kili was sprawled inelegantly, but looked perfectly comfortable in his spot, and Fili marvelled at the expanse of the naked skin, smiling affectionately as he nibbled the last of the meat off the bone.

Fili saw life in his brother.

Strong and bright and pulsing steady, undimmed by the harsh winter outside. Kili was… radiant, somehow, even with his face squished into the pillow, and one hairy shin sticking out from under the covers. He shone to Fili like a beacon, brighter than anyone else he ever met, a light of that special quality, which made his life whole. He could sense the same wonderful life within himself, if he pressed his hand to his chest and listened carefully, exactly the same way he could sense life in seeds, bubbling to spring forth, or the soil in the spring, carefully cradling the little saplings, or even the dying autumn leaves, slowly losing their vibrancy, growing quieter.

He closed his eyes for a moment, knew they were probably glimmering slightly with Power, and allowed himself to revel in the steady sound of Kili’s heartbeat. He liked his Gift nowadays, thought himself blessed for having it. He learned to appreciate it somewhere between Kili hovering anxiously over his precious tomatoes, waiting for Fili to tell him if they ‘felt’ alright, and a quiet poignancy of a dying forest, preparing for its winter hibernation. But it could also feel like a curse when he could sense his loved ones growing weaker, even if they didn’t want him to know, and he had no way of giving them even a fraction of his own shine.

Other fairies of course had their own Gifts – Kili worked well with insects, piling love on them and gaining lifelong friends in return, tiny little helpers, who never seemed to react quite the same to Fili. Thorin could tame any bird he wished with a combination of low commands, careful contact and some sort of kindred spirit he seemed to share with them. His mother could tell the truth from a lie without even having to actively listen for it, which… complicated things when they were little, and continued to complicate their uncle’s life still today.

Fili used to wonder why the Creator chose to bestow him with something so important, that left him feeling melancholic and helpless at times, but then he learned that his heart had been given to his carefree little brother, and suddenly it all made sense.

Right now it allowed Fili to feel a unique sense of bliss at the cheerful glow of Kili’s life next to him.

The constant warmth was making a real difference to fairy life in winter, making them less sleepy as their bodies didn’t seem quite so desperate to conserve any and all energy available. It allowed for quiet lazy chatter and never before did they have the time to tell each other their dreams or even dare to visit their friends and family. The nice, fatty food was already making both brothers slightly softer around their waists, but Fili didn’t worry about that – it meant they were healthy, and anyway, they would drop any excess weight during spring… activities.

Even right now, Fili was feeling like he had easily enough energy to do something he’d been planning for a very long time, and it helped too that Kili was asleep, giving him the perfect opportunity.

It was almost time now, anyway.

Slowly, he licked his fingers clean and covered up the rest of the food for Kili before reaching for a little bundle of cloth, which he had secretly stashed away within the fluff on his side. Within the cloth, carefully encased in some extra poplar fluff sat an array of little, highly polished crystals. They weren’t actual gems – that wasn’t the point – they were mostly quartz, aquamarine and amethyst selected for their transparency and shine, carefully facetted and pierced with a little hole.

Fili had started planning this almost as soon as they crawled out of their nest the year before, grateful to still be alive, inspired by the brightness of Kili’s words, by the little twinkle in his eyes, when he talked about the things he loved.

Alongside the crystals sat a length of the finest silk thread, which Oin had only parted with after he received a king’s ransom in medicinal herbs. It was dyed black – a process which had also dyed Fili’s hands and feet back in the summer, causing Kili to tease him to no end, when he lied that he was trying to dye some furs.

But now everything was ready and all Fili needed to do was thread the crystals and hang them how he wanted them.

Kili meanwhile snorted in his sleep and rolled to his other side, grabbing armfuls of furs and practically burring himself under them. It was going to require stealth, if Fili didn’t want Kili to wake up before he was ready, but it was okay – he was good at being quiet.

Carefully, he picked up the first stone and hovered steadily just under the highest point of their ceiling.

Kili eventually woke up when Fili only had two more crystals left to hang.

“Fili?” Came a confused voice as his brother padded their bedding, searching for him.

“I’m here,” Fili assured the other fairy, landing heavily and swaying from the effort.

“Sit!” Kili ordered instantly and there were hands on his body as soon as he obeyed. “Have you eaten? What’s wrong? What are you -“

“Shhhh…” Fili whispered, leaning in for a quick, reassuring kiss. “Just tired, is all. Look up.”

He tugged at the cord attached to the flap covering their ventilation hole, allowing the bleak, winter light to stream inside and, well –

Even Fili had to admit that the effect of his hard work was spectacular.

As the sun hit the crystals, the light fractured, instantly flooding the inside of their nest with an array of beautiful, colourful speckles of light. They danced over their skin, hair, bedding and nest’s walls and glittered cheerfully by the ceiling in concentrated whites, yellows and blues.

Kili’s eyes grew huge. “You –“

Fili smiled into the skin of his shoulder, stifling a yawn. “I couldn’t quite get you the real stars, but I think I managed to pull off a pretty decent display,” he murmured.

Kili raised to his feet and stretched up on his toes, trying to touch one of the glimmering crystals with his fingertips. Thanks to the black thread, they looked suspended in the thin air and Kili – hair messy, skin painted in light and an expression of awe on his face as he reached for them – to Fili he looked like Valar themselves, hanging the stars on the sky to guide and cheer their creations all across Arda, and perhaps, just this once, Fili understood Kili’s fascination with the little flickering lights.

He sighed at the beauty before him, tried to commit the image into his memory, as he slid comfortably back on their pillows.

“They’re - They’re beautiful.” Kili’s voice cracked, just once, and Fili contemplated getting up to hold him close. “Are they for me? It must have taken you forever!”

“Mmmm…” Fili agreed. “I wanted you to have your stars. I know you miss them in winter. Happy early Midwinter Day, Kili.”

He could feel Kili’s arms wrapping around his head and shoulders, just as his eyes slid closed.

“Thank you,” came a voice somewhere close and then he was kissed, passionately and deeply and he sighed again at his brother’s love on his tongue.

“I’ve got something for you too,” Kili was saying, even as he pulled and tugged as his limbs, setting Fili into a more comfortable position, little kisses peppered all over his face and shoulders, covers gently tucked around him, and fingers at the base of his wings, causing pleasure to radiate down his spine.

“Later. Nap now?” He muttered, mind already wandering to brilliant light and Kili slaloming between the stars.

“Nap now,” Kili agreed on a chuckle, warm, wonderful and full of love.


	18. Elven Fountains

Bilbo Baggins wasn’t entirely sure he had made the right decision. 

It was now the _third_ winter of the fairy folk living in his garden and although Bilbo had his concerns, when Thorin categorically refused having his people spend the coldest months _inside_ Bag End, the Hobbit respected their decision. 

Up until last week. 

A week ago, when the big snowstorm, so bad that it actually topped over some of the weaker trees in the area had hit, Bilbo Baggins ran outside in the worst of it and rushed back in, several times, with an armful of the tiny, shivering people.

He hadn’t quite thought about the technicalities. 

Within the first week all his lace curtains had been ‘repaired’, meticulously darned into mostly flat sheets of fabric. His guests were no longer allowed in his best living room, for it was full of the little folk, nesting on every surface available (pillows, bunched up blankies and scarves, all kinds of fabric really, on top of his sofa, table, armchair, furniture and even shelves), in front of the nice, roaring fire. His pantry was being raided _daily_ to the point where Bilbo resorted to doing a regular inventory.

And now this.

“Excuse me,” the grey-haired fairy honked at him through his snail shell (the shells had become an absolute necessity unfortunately, if Bilbo was to even notice the little folk’s attempts at communicating with him) “Could you point us in the direction of your bathing facilities, good sir? My brother wishes to wash.”

Bilbo frowned because said brother (standing behind the grey-haired one, looking torn between legging it and pleading mercy) certainly didn’t look all that interested in washing. Granted, tufts of fluff were sticking to his beard, hair and wings, but then even the toughest and meanest of them maintained that look throughout the winter, until Bilbo concluded that it had to be a seasonal thing. 

“Of course!” He cleared his throat, mentally chastising himself for staring. “Please follow me, and I shall run you a bath.”

Fairies seemed pleased with this offer, huddling together as if for a consultation and chattering between themselves excitedly.

While Bilbo lead the way to his bathroom, little did he know that Bofur, who had witnessed the whole scene and considered himself an expert on the Fairies-Bilbos communication, was extending his offer to everyone else who might have been interested and several who weren’t. By the time Bilbo turned around to explain the concept of the taps (trying to score the points back on the politeness front), he had an audience of over a dozen. 

He blinked. “Oh. I didn’t realise –“

Fairies stared at him expectantly, some still wrapped in strips of his blanket and sleepy, some positively glowing with excitement and wearing far less clothing than Bilbo would have liked.

“It’s just that – I mean, I could run you several separate baths if you liked –“

“Is it ready yet?” The one they called Thorin rumbled at him, crossing his arms on his chest, but somehow looking far less intimidating than he should be, speaking through his conch.

Bilbo stared at the steaming water. “Well, yes, but surely you wouldn’t want to –“

He was overruled by happy squeaks and a rush of little feet. Blankets were discarded, wings fluttered and before he could say anything the fairies were not only in, they were also _splashing_. 

All of them. 

Together.

“Uhm… Okay, yes. I will – I will leave you to it, in that case.” He stuttered, backing away slowly and wondering if any bad luck could befall his house for seeing a fairy (or several fairies) naked.

“Excuse me, Mr. Bilbo,” A voice stopped him, making him edge cautiously back towards the edge of the tub, “but this water is rather hot.”

“Yeah! It’s boiling!”

“No, it’s lovely! Never swam in something so hot in my life!”

“Can we get a rash from this?”

“Blisters, more like. It can’t be healthy.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s fine! I rather like it!”

“What are you trying to do, Master Hobbit? Cook us?!” Thorin boomed at him, crossing his arms on his chest.

The arguments erupted within seconds, making Bilbo reach for the cold water tap. That only resulted in a brand new wave of protest and confusion, as some of the stronger fairies shoved the younger ones back, unsure what would happen, since Bilbo never got round to explaining the taps in the first place.

“Grab my hand, Ori, it looks like a mighty powerful waterfall, this!” The heavily tattooed one was cautiously edging towards the stream. “There could be strong currents around –“ 

Bilbo didn’t _quite_ manage to stifle a snort when the fairy got pulled right under the water by the thundering water, disappearing completely.

“Mister Dwalin!” Several others rushed to help him back to the surface.

“Kili, don’t go where – PHWAH!” Another one went under, causing Bilbo to openly giggle.

“I’ve got him, I’ve got him!!” The dark haired one was screaming, drenched and not being very helpful at all.

“Fili!” Thorin was helping fish the other one out, while those fairies who actually liked the hot water started edging further and further away from the tap.

Eventually Bilbo took mercy on them and closed it, leaving the water luke-warm. “Is this better?” He swirled the water with his hand, causing several fairy folk to jump out of his way, squeaking indignantly.

There was another bout of heated discussion, before Thorin turned around to speak.

“You’re not trying to cook us?”

“No! It’s just a bath! Have you never had a hot bath?”

“Sometimes, when the sun warms up the rock pools. But it’s never this hot.”

“Oh.” Bilbo stared, while the fairies huddled close together and moved to cautiously explore the drain area. Thorin prodded the plug with his foot, making several air bubbles raise to the surface. His companions edged back, just in case, while their leader adapted a look of knowledge and wisdom. 

“A hot spring.” He announced. “My grandfather told me about these once. They are extremely rare, but basically they are hot water from inside the earth springing to the surface from the sheer rock.”

The negotiations started anew until finally the fairies seemed to have reached a consensus. Thorin cleared his throat. 

“We want the hot water back.” He declared.

Bilbo heaved a sigh. Of course they did. 

He reached for the faucet again, which caused alarmed gasps and the little folk moved back several paces in unison. “Careful, it will get quite a bit deeper now,” he warned.

When they had first clambered in, the water had covered the fairies up to their thighs – which was making Bilbo deeply uncomfortable, but was a perfect height to sit in and relax. With the addition of cold water, it reached their waists, which Bilbo considered an improvement. By now he reckoned he needed almost as much again to get it nice and hot.

The fairies have dispersed, bored of watching a monotone waterfall, especially as none of them were actually drowning under it. 

“Very nice rock pool you’ve got here, Mister Bilbo,” One of the fairies, Gloin, he thought, informed him. “Spacious, very good quality alabaster –“ He continued through his snail shell, stroking the sides of Bilbo’s bath tub curiously. “Did you carve it yourself?”

Bilbo blinked at him, torn between fleeing all the pageant of miniature nudity as soon as possible and answering the question. “I – what?! No, I – I purchased the tub,”

“Ooooh,” Gloin seemed interested, his little eyes gaining a terrifying glint. “And if we knew of a market… for such extravagance, would you be able to point us in the direction of the sellers? Or perhaps even purchase some on our behalf? We promise a fair split for your services.”

“A fair – Sorry, what split?!”

“You can’t be seriously considering trading with the elves -?” Balin interrupted.

“ _Elves._ ” Thorin scoffed.

“Of course not, I thought there could be others, interested –“

“Only elves could want such a – no offence, Mr Bilbo – _smoothly_ finished basin and with a dangerous waterfall like that!” Balin insisted. “They’d probably want to wash in it _one at a time_ and only in the light of a full moon!” He rolled his eyes.

“And even if I _was_ considering it –“ Gloin argued “- what’s wrong with wrangling a little bit more cash from the uptight flower-shaggers, if they pay us in good coin?”

“We are not trading with those rainbow-splattered flutterers.” Thorin agreed with Balin in a tone that allowed no argument.

“Where are all the scrubbing stones in this elven fountain?!” Came another question.

“Yeah, what are we to wash ourselves with?”

“Maybe we were meant to collect some before we got in? But that’s just impractical!”

As one, the fairies started nervously looking around them, kicking at the water here and there, inspecting the walls closely.

“Scrubbing stones?”

“Yes, you know – pebbles for rubbing your skin with to leave it nice and glowing.”

“I – We –“

“What are these?” The Reluctant Brother, as Bilbo was calling him now pointed towards the various things assorted around the tub in clear hopes that they could find some scrubbing stones there.

“Oh, these?” Bofur, who was the only fairy still outside the water, interjected before Bilbo could explain the washing utensils of the Hobbit folk, spinning on the heel of his foot and accidentally knocking a sponge over into the water. “These are his _pampering things_ ” the fairy announced with confidence, stumbling a little and causing Bilbo’s rubber ducky to land in the water as well.

There was another outcry, while some of the fairies edged away from the falling objects with a high pitched squeak, whilst others tried to attack them. In an instant the little folk waddled to form a battle formation around the duck and one of them, the one Bilbo thought undead, was heaved on top of it, starting to rain blows on its head, while the duck bobbed around indifferently.

“It’s perfectly alright!” Bofur rushed to explain, yet again cutting Bilbo off and knocking a bottle of shampoo off and into the water in the process. “These are perfectly safe!”

He fell into the water, more than flew, causing a disturbingly adorable splash and several fairy curses. He emerged, spitting water and causing enough ruckus that even the ones in full battle mode paused to stare at him expectantly. 

“It’s like –“ Bofur swam towards a mostly shunned sponge, caught it and placed it out of the water, against the side of the bath. “It’s like a primitive scrubbing stone. Only it’s soft and kind of weird to touch. You just –“ He flexed his hips to rub his back and wings carefully up against the sponge – “Rub yourself against it and –“ He turned around, repeating the process more vigorously with his front – “It foams up a bit sometimes but overall it’s quite hygienic.”

Dori covered Ori’s eyes, Bombur tried to do the same for his children, but had considerably more of them than hands. Oin argued that it could be medicinal if saturated with herb extracts, while several others turned a look of pure judgement on Bilbo.

“It’s fine, I promise you!” Bofur continued, never ceasing his indecent behaviour, “I have seen him do it to himself several times!”

Bilbo turned a deeper shade of red and moved to turn the hot water tap off to cover his embarrassment, while some fairies discussed leaving. 

“Look!” A new and overly excited voice called, diverting everyone’s attention yet again. “It’s like a modelling foam, but for your hair!”

Both youngest Durins were standing in a small patches of bubbles, hair swathed with Bilbo’s shampoo, while their father between them sported an impressive pair of horns made out of carefully arranged shampooed hair.

Fili and Kili looked about as pleased with themselves as if they had invented the sun. Vali looked stoic and oddly majestic, with the patience of a parent who brought up his offspring in good cheer and had many times prior chosen to rock the new, exotic look said offspring happened to bestow upon him.

“This stuff is brilliant! Makes you go all slippery!” Kili was advocating, focussing on his brother now, who looked strangely pleased with all the energetic rubbing to his scalp and the fingers attempting to make a high twisted bobble at the top of his head. 

“That’s it! I have seen enough!” Announced the grey-haired fairy who started it all. “I am leaving this mad, elven grooming party!”

He said and flew, oh, about four inches into the air, before splashing back into the water in a mini fountain. 

By then several others also wanted out and more attempts at flying-and-falling, followed by climbing-the-sides-and-falling ensued. Bilbo was disturbed by how adorable he was finding the whole ordeal, doing little to stop it.

The younger Durins looked at each other and grinned. “Don’t worry, master Dori, we will get you out! We’re going to throw you the rope once we’re up there, so just sit tight.”

Dori muttered something under his breath about courage of the idiots, which Bilbo didn’t quite catch, but the two younger fairies seemed undeterred. With a look of a challenge they swam towards the back rest side of the tub, where the walls were a little bit more slanted, took a bit of a run up (waddle up) and with a furious roar (squeak) started climbing.

They made it about six inches, before their heavy water-logged wings weighed them down and wet slippery hands and knees started sliding.

Bilbo made himself comfortable, reasoning that there was a very good chance someone would need rescuing in a moment, because others have soon started offering tips and instructions and before long several others (including _all_ of Bombur’s children) were trying to climb out as well.

Somehow this instantly became the new favourite game among the little folk.

“Give us a boost Kili, we’re almost there!” Fili was ordering.

“Me, me, now me!” Bombur’s offspring screeched, enjoying their father tossing them up the slanted side, letting them slide back down in a gleeful wet ball. 

The grey-haired fairy and his two brothers tried forming a totem, which could reach the top of the tub, but had collapsed long before they could get anywhere near their target.

The ruckus was rather cheerful, Bilbo thought as he watched Fili _almost_ make it, but ultimately slide all the way back down with a groan which started as frustrated but resembled Bombur’s children’s delighted noises by the time he hit the water again. 

Kili wanted a boost next. Obviously.

Vali had retreated to the front of the tub with the older fairies, who weren’t much interested in turning Bilbo’s bathroom into an amusement park, and was currently floating on top of Bilbo’s sponge, with Thorin being towed behind him, leaning over the edge of it.

Balin, Oin and Gloin were arguing over the exact type of stone the tub was made of.

Dwalin – Bilbo snorted – had only his nose and bald head sticking out of the water while he prowled like a huge (relatively) water predator towards an unsuspecting Ori.

Dori and Nori were arguing over why the totem strategy hadn’t worked.

Bifur seemed to have made friends with his earlier enemy, the Duck of Terror and was currently merrily bobbing along on top of it, as if it was a mighty steed, while Bofur tried to chase after him, also demanding to be allowed on top of the Duck.

Bilbo left the fairies to it, noting once again that their little hearts were brave and full of good cheer, even if Bilbo himself was beginning to develop a nasty headache from all the squeaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	19. Companionship

It was the wind that woke Fili up.

Howling like a soul condemned around a thick, low branch to the right of their nest, the one that always felt completely dead as early as September, but sprouted lush, thick green buds nonetheless in the spring. In the summer they quite liked sitting on it to eat their meals but right now the branch was finding itself just in the wrong spot, and the resulting noise was quiet inside their well-padded nest, but disturbing.

Fili yawned broadly and rubbed at his eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong.

He was met with a pair of warm brown eyes and a sheepish smile.

“Kili? Why are you awake?” He murmured sleepily, pulling the other fairy closer. “Can’t sleep? It’s the middle of the night.” He tugged at the furs sprawled only half on top of them and snuggled pleasantly into the soft cocoon he’d created.

“Naaaah,” Kili gave the tip of his nose a customary ‘hello’ kiss, and allowed himself to be tucked in. “Everything’s fine. I only woke up not long ago. It never used to be this easy, you know. Perhaps I just needed a bit of –“

“Companionship,” Fili finished for him, squeezing his brother gently.

“Yeah…” Kili agreed and pressed their foreheads together.

“I can do that,” Fili offered, one hand coming to rest at the back of Kili’s head.

There was peace in this gesture. Peace and safety and quiet sense of belonging. Like the loving hands on their wings, that would never hurt them, it felt good to share the same space, the nest, the warmth that kept them alive. To be able to chatter whenever they pleased, sprawl wherever they wanted and never be afraid.

Kili certainly never before considered his need for conversation during winter.

“Do you remember when we were little and we had that nest, on top of the hill?” He pondered, smiling to his memories. Their family nests were never quite as nice as the one they had now, but they were full of love and laughter and the unconditional sense of sefety.

Fili nodded, grinning. “We insisted we were old enough to each have our own separate beds for the winter.”

“I think Amad must have known, even back then,” Kili chuckled. “I remember her shaking her head in exasperation even as we re-designed the shape and strutted around boasting that we each did a better job of preparing our section than the other. We felt like we’d won a battle.”

“You were back in my bed at the first storm,” Fili laughed. “One day I just woke up in my little pile of fluff suitable for one, and there you were, nuzzling into my shoulder and trying to push me out of my warm spot!”

Kili should, by all accounts, feel embarrassed at that, but the memories were fond ones, recounted so many times that they have acquired an almost legendary status.

So Kili looked smug instead.

“Hey, at least it lead to us getting our own section together in the years that followed though!” he argued.

“Do you remember what you said, back then? When you were all knees and elbows in my personal space?”

“You have no personal space,” Kili rumbled, kneading his fingers into the fluff on Fili’s back for emphasis.

“I did back then!”

“Lies. You were always mine.”

“Well, I _tried_ to have some personal space back then, and give you some as well,” Fili argued. “We weren’t yet – You didn’t know…“

“I probably _did_ , I just wasn’t thinking about it,” Kili kissed his brother to silence him, “but it was a pointless pursuit. You were always _mine_ ,” he repeated with conviction.

And Fili was. It was the truth. But it didn’t spare him the insecurity of his teenage years, of keeping his feelings buried deep down and letting Kili _decide_ for himself. He didn’t regret it though. Not when he had _this_ now.

“Only because you were a brat. In that respect nothing’s changed,” Fili nipped at Kili’s ear, causing a noise of protest. “Anyway, do you remember what you said back then?”

“No,” Kili admitted, eyeing him curiously.

“You said, and I quote, ‘move over, we need to weigh the nest down better on this side to make sure it doesn’t go flying.’”

At that Kili _did_ blush, and it was such an endearing sight that Fili was forced to kiss his forehead.

“There was probably some logic to it,” Kili protested, staring intently at Fili’s collar bone.

“Oh, aye. The ‘I want my brother to keep me warm and tucked in, because on my own I kick my covers off within minutes’ logic.”

“Well, that’s still not quite as embarrassing as you waking up one morning and asking for a sheep!” Kili fired back. “You were convinced that you could just build a nest on its back and sleep in the fur, because ‘sheep stay alive and warm throughout the winter, right?’”

Now it was Fili’s turn to blush.

“Fundamentally, this is a perfectly sane idea!”

The two fairies bickered for a little while, but like always, it didn’t last. Perhaps half an hour later they could be found cuddling - chins on top of shoulders and noses buried in hair – and eyeing the foul weather outside through the little gap in their leather cover with the strange sense of satisfaction that comes from feeling safe, warm and dry when everything else isn’t.

Winter was throwing its worst at them, but it didn’t matter one bit in their little cosy home.

 

***

 

Bofur was seriously worried about his One.

Bilbo had horrible trouble sleeping. He could only stay asleep for six or seven hours at a time and then he was back up again, doing all the things typically done in the summer: reading, writing, cleaning, cooking, going out into the horrible cold weather to ‘run errands’, as he called them.

Bofur, being a _proper_ fairy through and through, was mostly interested in sleeping during the winter months, and therefore never had the opportunity to study what exactly went on in Hobbit’s little smials in that season. He observed that they tended to stay indoors more and merrily assumed the hobbit holes to be the equivalent of odd underground nests used for sleeping.

Boy, was he wrong.

Bilbo seemed to own _everything_ and all of it was stashed inside his home. When Bofur bravely snuck in through an open window one summer evening, he got dizzy from the sheer amount of _stuff_ he found.

It was certainly providing a lot of distraction for his Hobbit now.

And Bofur worried.

He understood the horrors of sleeplessness – he watched Bifur go through a similar phase shortly after he was injured – so he tried to keep Bilbo company.

He asked about his writings, trying to stay off the freshly inked pages (not always succeeding), he sprawled on top of the dishcloth, as Bilbo prepared his food in the kitchen and happily curled up on his shoulder, as Bilbo read his books. He told stories – Bofur’s head was always and forever full of stories – and his One listened with fascinated eyes and quick fingers scribbling down an occasional note.

Bofur also listened, with love and devotion, about some research into the history of Arda or other, which seemed to preoccupy the Hobbit quite often, and sometimes, he in turn, spoke at length about his beloved craft of mining, extracting beautiful minerals from deep underground, or the useful, high quality clay, of which there were great deposits just under Bilbo’s barn.

But Bofur was a fairy, not a Hobbit, and there was no negotiating his need for rest and peace and quiet.

And that meant that despite his best intentions, more often than not Bofur found himself back in the chest in Bilbo’s bedroom, on top of his favourite pile of Bilbo’s fresh shirts, tucked in in the semi-darkness the drawer offered and back to his original position of _worrying about his Hobbit_.

Apart from the trouble sleeping Bilbo also seemed to eat a lot.

After a few days of careful observation, Bofur discerned that Bilbo Baggins could eat up to seven meals a day, and each and every last one of them his Hobbit was determined to share with Bofur.

That explained somewhat Bilbo’s pantry, which fairies perceived as a sort of food overdose heaven. It didn’t, however, help one bit whenever his One opened the drawer and placed yet another saucer full of perfectly cooked, sliced sausage in front of the fairy who tended to blink at it lethargically and at best was able to nibble on the edge of his food.

For Bofur, the constant interruptions to his sleep really didn’t help, serving only to emphasise the long hours when Bilbo in turn was _not asleep_.

The Hobbit also looked worried, whenever he noticed that the fairy wasn’t able to eat much and seemed to re-double his efforts.

Bofur had never seen such an array of varied, exotic foods parade itself before his nose.

The troubled fairy would have given a lot to be able to speak to Oin, or even Nori or Bifur, to try and discern if any of this made any sense to anyone, but his friends were no more willing to come inside Bilbo’s house than Bofur was to go outside.

Instead he got Fili and Kili - the only two fairies so far to trust Bilbo enough to allow him to carry them, carefully bundled up, to his home. The miner joked that the princes kept their tabs on him, but secretly he thought he might have been closer to the truth than he let on. Kili was sociable enough and always loved chattering to his friends, but Fili…

Fili, Bofur thought, might have been simply worried.

If it was indeed his idea, then chances were that he wanted to make sure that Bofur was cared for properly and was lacking for nothing in his self-imposed exile into the Hobbit’s home.

Fili didn’t miss much and really cared about his people. He was still sometimes wonderfully foolish with his youth, and certainly head over heels with his brother, but one day he would make an excellent king.

They came every couple of weeks and it gave Bofur a chance to catch up on the recent events, such as they were, and pass on messages with questions about Bilbo’s condition.

In the end it took well over a month to get his response, delivered in the excited voice of the younger Durin.

“Oin said that it’s to do with how they spend their lives effectively underground,” Kili declared with an air of knowledge. “It’s possible that after centuries of such life the Hobbits have simply forgotten to pay attention to what Nature does. He didn’t think it was a problem though – they all seem to do it,” he added placing a comforting hand on Bofur’s arm.

Bofur felt relieved – his Hobbit wasn’t dying, he was simply built slightly wonky. When the princes left, each of them giving Bofur an affectionate squeeze, the fairy found himself pushing his drawer closed with a sense of peace.

Bilbo Baggins may have been slightly odd and completely the wrong size, but he was _Bofur’s_. His to love with his many quirks and if he could stay healthy despite his odd schedule, then they’d just had to learn to work around it.

The Hobbit must have had similar thoughts, because later that evening when the drawer opened again, instead of food, Bofur found Bilbo’s familiar face staring at him.

Said face twitched, just once, and then his One said, “I’m just about ready for the bed, and I was wondering if you’d like to sleep on the pillow next to me. I thought you’d be more comfortable there.”

Ah, to see his Hobbt’s face as he drifted off and when he woke up! Bofur certainly could get used to that.

“You’re not going to squash me?” He asked through his snail shell, just to make sure, already pulling his favourite shirt around himself, sleeves trailing behind him as he padded closer to Bilbo’s hands.

“I should think not!” The Hobbit looked horrified. “I will have you know that I am a very peaceful sleeper. You should be perfectly safe.”

There was a pause, during which Bofur’s heart insisted on doing happy little summersaults inside his chest, while he scrambled to sit on top of Bilbo’s palm, before the Hobbit asked, with some degree of suspicion:

“You don’t snore, do you?”

Bofur grinned. “It doesn’t matter! It won’t be loud enough for you to hear anyway!”

Perhaps there were a couple of perks to their odd arrangement after all.

 

***

 

Ori had _the best_ One.

Dwalin was a mountain of a fairy and generated enough heat all by himself to keep a stable full of farmyard animals warm.

Ori snuggled lovingly into the lush, long and wiry beard and felt one thick arm tighten around his shoulder. It wasn’t conscious, this little gesture, and it made Ori feel all mushy inside.

There was something about Dwalin’s hands – wide and strong, strong enough to crush an acorn in one palm – that was just magical when the same hands brushed with infinite gentleness over Ori’s wings and traced the edges. The older fairy was adamant about treating him with the best of care and respect and Ori found it completely endearing.

It wasn’t as though Ori was the only one needing care in their relationship – far from it. Dwalin was used to flying around with dusty, tense wings, before Ori got his hands on them. He was taught from birth to go without great many things, so he did, until Ori taught him that this wasn’t necessary during the times of plenty. He could be as hard and unyielding as a rock, but underneath it all was a gentle heart that loved and craved to be loved back, and to Ori it was the greatest crime that no one has ever addressed that need.

It wasn’t the easiest of courtships, Ori thought, rolling over to his other side and tucking his wings along Dwalin’s side.

His One took his time asking for what he wanted and was met with not one, but _two_ overprotective older brothers. A scene came to his mind, when an unfortunate turn of phrase implied that Dwalin might hurt him somehow, which had the warrior standing up and snarling and Dori narrowing his eyes and barring his fists. They were ready to have a go at each other until Ori flew right into the narrow space between them and gave each a bollocking of their lifetime.

Nori still told horror stories of Ori’s temper.

Somehow, despite all that, they managed to actually _have_ a relationship.

A lot of that was down to Ori’s obnoxious idiot friends, Fili and Kili.

Not that Ori had any choice in the matter.

Kili especially believed in true love with all his heart and was only too eager to help Ori win back some of his freedom. It was like a little scheme the two of them had hatched; a scheme Ori could do perfectly well without, thank you very much.

Granted, there was some teasing, entirely inappropriate wolf whistling, and even advice of a far too personal nature for Ori’s liking, but at the end of the day it was the brothers who kept whisking him away for some much needed alone time with his One, under the pretence of some errand or another.

There was a row of course, when the subject of nesting with Dwalin came up, but then Nori snorted and said completely seriously:

“I will kill him if he doesn’t make you into the happiest fairy alive for the rest of your days,”

and Ori knew he was going to win that battle.

And so here they were, in their very first nest together, surrounded by Ori’s beloved scrolls and Dwalin’s whetstones for sharpening his blades, building their life together.

Ori felt like he could have _anything_.

It was at that point that he found himself subjected to the scrutiny of Dwalin’s calm, grey eyes.

“Can’t sleep, laddie? Want me to stay awake with ye a while?”

“Nah,” Ori grinned. “I’m just not used to this much peace and quiet in the nest, is all. But I was thinking…” he shifted so he was able to climb on top of his One and snuggled into Dwalin’s broad chest comfortably, causing him to make a sort of alarmed sound in the back of his throat, which Ori enjoyed very much indeed, “I was thinking that you could tell me a story. You know, to fill in the silence. Perhaps one of those stories about the Erebor of old…”

“Aye,” Dwalin agreed, one hand coming to rest on the back of Ori’s head. “It’s one thing to read about it in yer scrolls, but it’s quite another to actually be a part of it. Did I ever tell you of my battles with beavers?”

Ori smiled. He _definitely_ had the best One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	20. A Gentle Pair Of Hands To Hold My Heart - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copious ANGST in this one!

 

 

Fili was eyeing the gooseberry bush critically when it all started.

It was important to know what state the plants were in after the long months without care, so they could start planning how best to help them.

The gooseberry bush would need quite a lot of help. It wasn’t doing all that great, clearly didn’t like the amount of frost it got that winter at all. There was life there still, buried deep and hiding within the soil from the ordinary fairy senses. Perhaps the plant could be rescued after all –

Fili did hear the tell-tale _tap-tap_ sound, but by that point he was so focussed on looking inwards and into the plant that he chose to ignore it.

Until something hit him on the shoulder, hard.

He blinked, confused, and looked around him.

Only then did he realise just how much danger he was in. The clouds looked ominous. The white round balls of ice the size of his fists were raining down all around him, bouncing off the ground and ricocheting in all directions. Several hit his wings and Fili hissed in pain and stumbled backwards.

Shelter! He desperately, immediately needed shelter –

How could he have been so stupid and careless?! He was normally a smart and sensible fairy, certainly knew how to take care of himself, and he _knew_ that time of the year was particularly dangerous – He just got distracted, he forgot to pay attention –

Kili would have a right proper laugh at him. _After_ he stopped fretting about his bruises, Fili thought, trying to fly low in short little hops out of the open.

There was a rock, much narrower at the base than at its crown, not too far away. It wasn’t ideal, but it would shield him from the worst.

It would have to do, he decided, as something hit the back of his head, making him lose his balance and barely land on his feet. He shook his head, fighting through the haze that threatened to strip him of consciousness, making him lose precious seconds, each painting a brand new injury on his skin.

He had to get back to Kili.

He’d walk through the deluge of ice if he had to, he’d crawl if it came to that. It couldn’t end in such a stupid way; it felt like only yesterday when he found the new kind of Kili’s touch and learned what it felt like to be loved back.

He took off again with a furious little snarl, but the sky seemed determined to crush him and tear him apart.

Fili couldn’t tell what happened next. Pain exploded in his temple as if somebody had smashed his head with a war hammer and he hit the muddy ground hard. He thought he felt himself curl up into a ball, but it was all fading until there was nothing left, except the deafening _tap-tap_ sound.

 _Kili_ …

And then even the sound was gone.

The darkness saved Fili from the array of sharp stabs of pain blossoming all over his body as the hail battered the ground ever harder.

 

\---

 

Kili dropped a plate.

All his life Kili knew that the twin _badump-badump_ in his chest was the rhythm of his life. He knew it, the same way he knew that plants needed the sun to flourish, or the smell of Dis’ fairy dust if she was near. It was an instinct; it was a constant, it was a part of who Kili was.

He never paid much attention to it, convinced that all the fairies felt it, and it never even crossed his mind to ask about it.

But now his heartbeats were out of synch and one was slowing down and… fading.

“Something’s wrong,” he gasped, eyes wide and terrified, as he pressed a hand to his chest, trying to will his heart to behave. “Something’s horribly, horribly wrong.”

“Kili? Are you hurt? Did something happen?” His mother was there, gently lifting his face, trying to look him over.

Kili couldn’t answer. He didn’t think he was physically hurt, but he felt – it was pain, but it wasn’t _his_ , it didn’t feel physical enough for that, but that was nothing, compared to the growing sense of terror, and this mounting urgency, the absolute panic, which seemed so much bigger than Kili himself.

He pushed Dis’ hands away and looked to the sky.

If Kili was worried about the hail when it started only a few moments ago, as he first doused the dishes, by now he felt on the verge of bolting.

“Fili will be fine,” Dis murmured soothingly, kissing his forehead and bending to pick up the dropped plate. “He’s a grown fairy, he knows when to look out for signs. He’s probably sitting huddled under some evergreen, wishing he came to dinner with you. We’ll be sure to save him some -”

Kili took off, right into the blinding storm, ignoring the reassurances of his mother, and barely grabbing his coat, to spread it over his head.

His unsteady heartbeat, the very blood in his veins screamed for one thing:

 _Fili_.

If there was something wrong with him, Fili would know. Fili always knew; it was his job to know. Fili was his brother and his One, and Kili has always come to him with questions he didn’t dare ask anyone else. He would explain, or at least he’d be there, if Kili was in some serious trouble, and Kili desperately _needed Fili_ to be there for him and above anything else, he needed to be sure that his love was safe.

 

\---

 

Dis threw Vali an alarmed look and reached for her coat. She remembered that type of reaction all too vividly; the same frantic look, on the same beloved face, if several decades younger. Fairies loved fiercely and when that love was in danger, they wouldn’t be stopped in their battle for it, even if it meant their own death.

Vali only stopped her because of his lightning fast reflexes; he too had to understand.

“Not in this weather, Dis! You know how dangerous it is to fly this far in a hail storm!”

“They’re my _sons_!!” she screamed.

“And _mine_ ,” he reminded her gently, more than capable of taking on her temper. “If he finds him, he will bring him home, and he will need you there.”

She couldn’t stop a choked off sob at the implication.

“Go to their nest, wait there. I’ll stay here, in case either of them keeps enough wits about them to realise that if they’re injured they will need help. When it stops, we will both go and look for them. We don’t know what had happened, Dis. Perhaps it’s the danger itself that has set Kili off.”

She pushed him away and glared at her husband. She wasn’t in the mood to admit it, but she did recognise the wisdom of his words.

Which was why, when she took off again, flying low and from one shelter to the next, it was in the direction of her son’s nest.

 

\---

 

Kili was taking risks.

He hopped between covers, taking ever longer leaps in the open, hoping that his coat would deflect the worst of it. His wings ached, heavy from the moisture in the air, and the backs of his legs ached with bruises, but Kili would not, _could not_ stop.

Fili had gone out to take the first look at the garden, so they could plan their spring work early this year. He was frustrated with last year, when he was forced to sleep well into the late spring to recover from the self-imposed starvation.

But there was no telling exactly which part of the garden Fili might be in.

Kili searched everywhere, calling out until he was hoarse. Panting heavily and shaking half from cold and half from incomprehensible fear, Kili searched under every possible shelter he could think of. He searched the ground too, and his heart skipped a beat whenever he spotted anything paler in colour, which could be mistaken for Fili’s soft, golden hair.

With every passing solitary heartbeat the sense of panic grew, until Kili could barely keep back the senseless screams of sheer anguish. The fear was all the worse because Kili couldn’t tell clearly what was wrong, he just knew that Fili needed him and he would fly through fire to get to him.

Where _was_ he?! Why wasn’t he responding? Why wasn’t he there, flying up to Kili to haul him out of the vile weather and lecture him on how dangerous it was to fly in the middle of a storm such as this?

Kili’s frantic mind wanted to laugh at him, when he imagined Fili’s disapproving stare and the following litany of frustrated huffs, if this was nothing to be concerned about. But Fili would understand this _need_ , and would forgive him after a little while and everything would be _okay_.

What if Fili fell asleep? That option was entirely possible – it was still winter after all - but then he would be so cold –

It was the red that attracted his attention.

A splash of colour on the ground, out of place in the bleak winter landscape.

A body, half-covered by hail, and a fragment of a beloved brown wing, sticking out at an odd angle.

Kili screamed and dove down, virtually allowing himself to freefall. He got knocked off course a couple of times by the missiles still falling around him, but managed to land heavily not too far away.

He didn’t feel the impact or the icy slush soaking up into his pants.

He didn’t feel anything at all.

There was so much blood. It had soaked into the ground and painted the ice red until Fili was drowning in it, his precious, delicate wings battered and crushed into the ground behind him.

Kili could barely tell it was still his brother.

He scrambled to get closer, to touch, to feel for himself, to protect somehow, while his mind screamed in denial.

_No._

Fili had been killed.

All alone when it happened, stoned to death by the merciless weather, cold, so very cold, and it had to hurt so bad –

How long has he been left here? Kili reached to touch that beloved face, now splattered in blood, Fili’s long hair caked with dirt and ice.

The reality didn’t add up; Kili’s world was falling apart and he himself was crumbling away with it.

_No._

He used to love pressing his nose into that soft hair and nuzzle into the crook of Fili’s neck. He’d done it only that morning as they lazily discussed checking up on their parents and their plants.

_No._

Kili howled, howled like a wounded animal that knew its end has come.

He felt something hit his wing painfully and somehow a new, vicious determination eclipsed the breath-taking sense of loss.

_No._

_Not like this_ , a thought skittered his mind, _not here, in the mud and ice, I won’t leave you all alone like this_.

 _I won’t leave you alone ever again_.

Kili groaned with the effort, as he hauled Fili’s body back towards the nearby rock by his soaked coat. It was agonisingly slow and a few times Kili got hit so hard that he was pushed to his knees, but he recovered, fighting the pain as if he’d deserved it somehow, as if it was his to bear, until he had his brother tucked into the little niche created by the stone.

It wasn’t logical, what drove him to take off his coat and wrap it around Fili’s body. It was love, it was the need to care and protect and Kili knew no other way, when his brother’s skin felt icy to the touch.

It was the shivers that finally made Kili realise that Fili was indeed still alive.

He hovered for a moment in that horrible place between hope and despair and then scrambled to save his One.

“Come on, please, _please_ , Fili, stay with me,” he whispered, wrapping his coat tighter around the other fairy, tucking in edges to keep him safely cocooned.

He pulled Fili flush to his chest, hissed at the cold seeping through his simple shirt, but wouldn’t let go for the world, his own warmth given freely to Fili. He’d give it all if he could, he’d trade places and not regret it for one second.

He carefully cradled his brother’s head, pushed the strands of matted hair out of the way and pressed his lips to the chilled skin, tasting blood and dirt, and none of it mattered, because Fili was trembling, so his body hasn’t given up on him quite yet. Kili tilted his head a little to press his cheek against Fili’s nose and felt the tears slide down his face at the faint puffs of air against it.

It was in that space that Kili once again felt the low, twin thrum of blood in his veins and finally understood what it had to mean. With utmost care, he pressed the tips of his fingers to the side of Fili’s neck and for the first time in his life really _listened_ , because the pulse was faint and delicate, but it was there.

He felt ashamed; Fili had always been there and it felt as if Kili had taken him for granted, as if he hadn’t appreciated what his soul always knew.

He lost all sense of time, shaking together like this, barely shielded from the hail still coming down hard, each of Kili’s heartbeats coaxing another one from Fili’s chest. He sobbed his way through it all, half terrified of being left all alone, half angry with himself. Kili didn’t try to stop the sounds rising from deep within – long exhausted wails, helpless, like a cry of a child.

Cries of sorrow, cries of pain, cries of some unfathomable injustice that has been done to them both.

“K-Kili. You’re w-warm…” came an impossibly tired rasp next to his ear and he felt Fili’s arm trying to wrap itself around his back because if Kili was upset, Fili would be there to soothe him.

“Fili!” He looked into confused blue eyes, “Shhh, don’t try to speak. You’re hurt.”

“S-So w-warm,” Fili repeated, teeth chattering, and gave him a watery smile, before pressing his face to the crook of Kili’s neck. “S’good…”

Kili could have sobbed all anew, just from those few simple words and from the miracle happening right there in front of his eyes.

Because somehow, despite being covered in blood, from what had to be horrific injuries, Fili was still alive.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	21. A Gentle Pair Of Hands To Hold My Heart - Part 2

 

 

Dis eventually found her youngest cradling his brother tight to his chest and sobbing.

The hail had eased off, enough at least to warrant short-distance flying and Dis was sick and tired of feeling useless and trapped in what her sons called home.

Her thick fur coat was around both of their shoulders in an instant and she held them tightly for a moment.

“Amad,” Kili whispered and he sounded so utterly helpless and forlorn that it nearly broke her heart.

She forced herself to be practical, to forget that it was her son’s body, wrapped up in Kili’s arms.

“Let me see,” she demanded, easing Fili back just a little, because Kili would never let him go right now, her fingers tracing over his chilled skin looking for injuries with all the efficiency of a mother.

Fili was covered in blood and looked like he’d been in a violent battle and lost, badly, but most of it seemed to be coming from a wound to his temple, still trickling slowly into his hair and over Kili’s fingers. There would be bruises, obviously, and one of Fili’s wings was hanging at an unnatural angle, but she knew better than to try and touch it.

“Shhh, hold him still a second,” she ordered, strong and determined, because right now Fili needed her more than his distraught brother, and if she hazarded a look at Kili’s face, she wasn’t sure she could ignore it. Instead she tore a long strip of fabric from her underskirts and wrapped it tightly, mud and all, around Fili’s head.

Stopping the bleeding was her first priority, but once that was sorted –

She pulled Kili tight to her chest as if he never grew up at all, as if he never learned the taste of this insane love, which would without a doubt kill him if Fili couldn’t be saved.

She held on and forced her own tears back, because now was not the time for it.

“It will be okay, Kili. We’ll take care of him. The cold is now far more deadly for Fili than his wounds. We need to get him home and warm him up.”

Kili sniffed, but nodded against her shoulder and seemed to pull himself back together.

When he started carefully tucking Fili’s arms into the overly-long sleeves of his coat, he was her son once again, an heir to the line of Durin, who knew what had to be done and had the strength to deal with his emotions later.

 

\---

 

“Fili? Fili, do you think you could fly? Even just a little…”

When he was twenty seven, Fili had once fallen off a low stump of a tree and injured his wing. It was simply too low for him to spread his wings and land, or so he thought at the time. His right wing, which was just about opening, had been twisted at an odd angle and the force of the impact had sprained it.

It hurt for a close to two weeks, but it could have been so much worse.

Still, after that little incident Fili was determined he was never going to fly again. It was the stiffness of the unused joints more than anything, but he had convinced himself that if he ever tried moving his right wing again, he’d snap the delicate bones and rip the muscles in his back.

The longer it went on, the worse it got.

Until one day Kili climbed a particularly tall tree and cried for his brother, too scared to try to fly off it by himself.

Fili flew to him, without thinking twice.

It wasn’t that much different now.

“Please. You have to help me. You have to help me get you safe.”

Fili groaned, feeling his arms tugged and wrapped around two other fairies for support. Everything hurt and he vaguely wondered if anything was broken, but his head throbbed and trying to gather his thoughts was like herding cats.

He was so cold. He just wanted to stay with Kili and sleep; Kili was warm and he needed him. Besides, perhaps if Fili had a little nap it wouldn’t hurt so bad.

He didn’t think he could fly; not with the way his right wing felt all wrong, but he _would_ , because Kili was asking him to and there were tears in his eyes.

Fili would do anything, no matter how much it hurt.

 

\---

 

Kili always knew that his father was a strong, yet infinitely gentle mountain of a fairy, with broad shoulders and back from using his axes, but to see him pluck Fili from between their arms and effortlessly cradle him to his chest as if he was a lad once again and not a grown fairy only served to amplify the sense of danger to Fili’s life.

Fili was always the strong one himself; responsible, deadly when needed, but full of quiet smiles too. A fairy that could very well take care of himself and certainly didn’t need to be _carried around_.

Except right now he did.

“Put down some sheets, Kili, otherwise you’ll be picking dirty fluff out of your nest for the rest of the spring. Make a little dip there, where he can be closer to the hot stone.” Vali didn’t ask what had happened; he simply focussed on how best to help his injured son.

Over the years they had come back home bruised, limping or bleeding and on the verge of bursting into tears enough times, to give Vali plenty of experience in dealing with them, and to teach him that they wouldn’t be separated when hurt.

Kili would grumble and push at Fili’s limbs until he had him exactly where he wanted him, the older fairy patiently letting him settle in a position that didn’t hurt, so he could sleep off the worst. Or Fili, hissing with every move, biting his lip hard when Kili put on a bandage over some latest injury and helped him stretch out. The two of them got in trouble so often that after a few years their parents gave up and decided that it would be more practical to simply take their adventurous offspring to Oin and teach them how to patch each other up.

Even today most of Kili’s considerable knowledge of healing plants came from these very lessons and from testing said knowledge on Fili.

Kili tried to think of happier times, frantically spreading two sheets on top of each other inside their nest, but his mind couldn’t shake off the image of Fili’s blood all over his body and soaking into the ground of Bilbo’s beloved garden.

“Ready?” Dis’ head appeared through the entrance just as Kili was smoothing out the last of the creases.

Kili nodded and moved out of the way as his father carefully placed Fili in the dip. The fairy moaned quietly and shuffled a bit, until most of his back was exposed and nothing was touching his right wing.

“Shhh, I’m here, you’re safe now.” Kili whispered in his ear, gentle hands stroking the side of his face, and he wasn’t sure if Fili could even hear him, but he seemed to relax and doze off not long after. All Kili wanted to do at that point was to wrap himself around the shivering fairy and never ever let him go.

He watched as Dis picked up a soft cloth and patiently started cleaning the mud and thick scabs of blood out of Fili’s hair, while Vali occupied himself with regularly changing hot water. Kili closed his eyes and held his brother, his One, his entire world, trying to rub some warmth into his skin and coax a reaction.

He desperately craved closeness, as if his touch alone could keep Fili safe.

“Cheer up Kili, it’s not so bad,” Vali tried, tugging one of Fili’s boots off and hanging it on the hook by the door by its laces. “He'll be fine. He just took a blow to the head and his body temperature dropped dangerously, but really –“

Something in Kili snapped. Something born of exhaustion, fear, lack of sleep and the feeling of utter helplessness.

He felt so angry. Angry, furious even, with himself.

“Not so bad?! This is what you call ‘not so bad’?! There is no telling what internal injuries he might have, Adad! He could be bleeding out as we speak! And I can’t even begin to imagine how much it must hurt!”

“Kili –“

“You don’t understand!! Neither of you understand! You don't know - He could have died out there!! _Died_! And I wasn't even with him!! You don't know what he looked like all bloodied and smashed into the ground!! I thought for a moment that it was just his corpse, jerking from the hailstones still bombarding it!” Kili was shaking, couldn’t breathe, something in the very structure of his soul demanding to lash out.

“Shhhh... Baby,” interrupted another voice and Kili felt a familiar touch on his cheek. “Don't shout. It's okay now. I'm okay. You found me and you brought me home. ‘M not going anywhere. I’ll heal. It doesn’t hurt so bad anymore.”

“Fili!” It was only a few words, but it was all that held Kili together in that moment.

Fili was smiling at him, although it was obvious that it didn’t come to him easy, a pair of barely focussed blue eyes searching Kili’s face. There was the same kindness and gentle warmth in them that had always been there and for Kili it finally sunk in that his brother was alive. The normally proud and independent fairy was still shaking and curling up into Kili’s shoulder, seeking warmth, or perhaps just contact to ground him, but he was there for Kili like he’d always been.

Kili kissed him; couldn’t not to.

It felt like this was _theirs_ and theirs alone and even their parents, whom Kili trusted implicitly, were setting him on edge. Kili just wanted to be left alone with his brother; there was a million apologies to be offered and ‘I love yous’ and ‘I was so scared’.

“Kili,” uttered in Dis’ firm, quiet voice, and he felt his mother wrapping her arms around them both and then his father was there too and Kili felt blessed to be loved like this, tears welling up in his eyes again.

Fili sighed and closed his eyes, making a content little noise at the back of his throat. “S’ it. No shoutin’,” he slurred and quite how he managed to sound a tiny bit smug, Kili didn’t know.

“I can deal with the rest now,” Kili argued, and was surprised how calm he sounded, compared to the torrent of emotions rolling through him. “Perhaps you should go. He just needs me and I’m not the best of company right now for anyone, except him.”

Their mother hesitated, then gently took his shaking hands into hers and held them, without a word, until they steadied and Kili could breathe again.

“Normally I would never leave you like this, no matter how much of a brat you were,” she said, smiling. “But I think this is something you need to do for yourself, like a ritual, so you can accept that he really will be just fine. He’ll want to sleep loads and complain even more, but he’ll make a full recovery. Look after him, Kili. Go, fetch Oin if the need arises,” she added seriously. “And Kili?”

He looked up, angrily wiping at the tears on his cheeks.

“Be kind to yourself too. It was an accident, nobody could have predicted it.”

Kili nodded, but felt hollow, his only link to feeling anything beyond grief, encapsulated within the twin heartbeat in his chest.

“Come fetch us too, if you need us. We’re closer than Oin,” Vali offered and he didn’t sound angry, only sad, and it was that, more than anything, that gave Kili the courage to reach out and grab his father’s wrist.

“I’m sorry!” he blurted out. “I’m not really angry with you, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry I said those things to you.” He searched his father’s eyes, blue and gentle and so much like Fili’s, and he knew he was forgiven when Vali sank down to the bedding an pressed their foreheads together.

“Son, I wouldn’t be married to your mother, if I couldn’t take a little outburst of hot temper,” he smiled and ruffled Kili’s hair as if he was thirty again. “You’re worried about your One; none of us is capable of being rational when it comes to that.”

Kili made a face and pushed his hair out of his eyes again, as Dis elbowed her husband none-too-gently in the ribs and pulled him back to his feet.

They said their goodbyes and then Kili was left alone with a fairy that meant the world to him.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	22. A Gentle Pair Of Hands To Hold My Heart - Part 3

 

 

 

Kili watched as another patch of skin was revealed in the wake of his steaming cloth.

He had Fili tucked into the corner of his arm and raised a little so he could patiently clean his injuries while keeping him close. In truth, Kili was forced to admit that their father was probably right: besides the two little cuts to Fili’s collar bone and wrist, there was no other source of blood that Kili could see. It would appear that the blow to Fili’s temple was the one to blame for his initial macabre look.

There were definitely areas that made Fili hiss and twist away in pain; it was clear that as he fell to the ground, he must have curled up a little, exposing one side of his body much more than the other. His winter clothes weren’t enough to keep him warm, but they did muffle the blows and protected his skin.

Except for his wings, exposed of course, for flying.

Kili still remembered the horror of seeing what looked like a torn off piece of Fili’s beloved, soft brown wing. Having calmed down a little now, he realised that as he lost consciousness, Fili couldn’t fold his wings away neatly at the back, like he normally would. That left them sticking out at an odd angle and one of them more open to the bombardment from the hailstones than the other.

It had done some damage, but the wing was still firmly attached.

It was twitching uncontrollably at the slightest touch, making Fili moan painfully, and although it was clear that he was trying, Fili still couldn’t quite tuck it back into place.

Kili put away the wet cloth and took another stock of the fairy in his arms.

Fili seemed to be dozing off, for the most part letting Kili do as he pleased, only from time to time Kili could feel the flutter of Fili’s eyelashes against his neck, his breath against his skin, or a careful shift to the angle of his body.

They both felt reassured, now that they were together and kept warm by Bilbo’s hot stone. Outside the cold winter rain started pattering against the cover of their nest, but inside the two fairies stayed warm, safe, and entirely focussed on each other.

Kili watched Fili’s face for any sign of discomfort as he very slowly allowed his hand to sneak under his injured wing. It took a long time and his brother blinked at him sleepily from time to time, when Kili’s fingers brushed over a sensitive spot, but eventually Kili had the access to the roots. He felt around in the soft, warm fluff, trying to make sure that nothing was actually broken and coax the delicate bones there to guide the rest of the wing to fold away correctly.

“Hnn!” Fili groaned when something shifted and gave way, allowing the wing to close.

“I’m sorry,” Kili whispered, another soft apology in the long line of apologies. “How does it feel now?”

“Mnnn…” Fili agreed, closing his eyes again and nuzzling closer.

Every ounce of Kili’s soul was screaming at him, demanding that he does _more_ , that he somehow heals his injured One, just by touch alone. But Fili was now clean and dry and judging by the occasional violent shivers and the way he was holding on to Kili, he just needed warmth, comfort and rest.

All of which were terribly passive, in Kili’s opinion.

He helped ease the other fairy down, pulling pillows from around them to prop Fili as needed and waited patiently as his brother snuggled in. He ran a gentle hand over one exposed shoulder and the loosely folded wings, took in the bandages around Fili’s head and wrist and thought that here was a fairy half-broken by the world that was simply too big for the Little Folk, trusting Kili completely with his body and what it needed.

It wasn’t right seeing Fili like this.

Never _Fili_.

Very carefully, Kili stretched out in front of his brother and allowed his arms to carefully wrap around him. The blond fairy gave a quiet murmur of approval, reached out to pull Kili closer and shuffled, until his pillow was right on top of Kili’s outstretched arm.

Kili snorted, but when he tugged two of their softest furs over both of them, carefully tucking in the edges around Fili, it finally felt like the world clicked back into place.

He kissed the quiet, curled up bundle, listened to the rain outside, to the twin heartbeats in his chest, and wondered how long it would take before he could look at the sky without expecting it to dish out death at any moment.

How long would it take Fili?

How long before they both felt whole again, and safe?

And then it occurred to Kili that if this had happened any other year, in any other place they had spent the winter, Fili’s chances of survival would have been minimal.

And that was why Kili called this place _home_.

 

\---

 

At first there was only the icy cold.

It obscured everything beyond the sharp, piercing pain and the sort of sluggish numbness that seemed to overwhelm him until he hated the feeling of being trapped within his own body.

He felt so horribly alone.

Then there was a heartbeat.

It was warm and familiar and Fili clung to it. It didn’t immediately take away the cold or the ache, but it was _there_ and Fili knew somehow that he could trust it. There was softness and warmth within it, and Fili reached for it, but it wasn’t quite physical enough.

Then there was a warm cloth moving over his oversensitive skin like a caress, whispered fragments of words and careful arms helping him move. It gently guided and distracted him when the numbness receded and the physical sensations became almost unbearable.

He knew he was loved when hot stones, wrapped up in their fur covers, were placed along his back and under his feet; when the covers were tucked in around him, and when he was finally allowed to sink into Kili’s overly long arms. He felt cocooned in the burning heat and protected within it.

He was no longer alone.

It was perfect, despite the pounding pain in his head; it was where he belonged; it made him feel safe when it felt like he might shake apart without Kili’s presence there. It was the sanctuary that Fili desperately needed.

Fili had never in his life felt weak and he didn’t feel weak now. He felt stronger for having someone who tucked him in so lovingly and murmured things into his hair. They had both known fear, especially the fear for each other’s life, but they have never felt weak because of it.

It was warm now.

Warm and everything was soft and smelled familiar and Fili thought that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

And then came the dreams. The dreams were warm too, and they didn’t hurt, didn’t have the jagged edges he was somehow expecting.

He moaned when the lightest of touches brushed his wings and pressed closer.

Kili was there and Fili let himself drift.

 

\---

 

“Noooo, I want to stay with Filiiii! Fiiiiliiiiii!!” It took Fili a moment to realise that the little screeching voice of a distressed dwarfling was what woke him up.

He blinked himself awake just in time to see Kili held virtually upside down within their father’s thick arms, but even Vali – the strongest dwarf Fili knew – was having trouble trying to restrain a kicking and screaming ball of limbs and a blotchy face.

Kili wasn’t pretend-struggling either. He was fighting furiously, with all the vicious power of his elbows and knees, and squirming like a fish out of the water.

“Fili is ill, sweetheart. He needs some peace and quiet to rest,” their mother was saying, trying to help Vali contain her youngest. “You want him to get better as fast as possible, so he can play with you again, don’t you?”

“I want Filiiiiii! I’ll be quiet! You’ll see!!” Kili yelled at the very top of his terrifying range, ignoring her altogether and planting his left wing firmly into their father’s face, while kicking out squarely into Vali’s knee (a manoeuvre he learned from Fili, the fairy observed with some degree of pride). He dropped to all fours like a cat and half-ran, half-flew into Fili’s arms.

Fili would be impressed –

\- if he could breathe.

As it was he had an armful of a very determined dwarfling, squeezing his ribs a touch too painfully and stealing most of Fili’s blankets to become hopelessly tangled in them in case their parents tried to extricate him.

Fili yanked at his corner of the blanket hard in an attempt to keep it, before it disappeared altogether.

Kili went perfectly still and pretended he didn’t exist. There just happened to a massive lump attached to Fili’s body under some randomly bunched up covers.

Fili blinked again and, figuring out his chances of sleep were marginally higher _with_ Kili than without him, casually draped his arm over said lump and turned his best innocent face on their parents.

Presented with a pair of huge pleading blue eyes, Dis sighed in defeat and moved to fetch Fili another thick fur for cover, while Vali eyed one of Kili’s feet, still sticking out from under the blankets with what definitely was malicious intent.

“Are they gone yet?” Came conspiratorial whisper and Fili shoved at his brother gently with his hip.

“Can he stay, Amad?” he asked when it became obvious that they were at a stalemate, grateful for the additional furs and stroking over where the lump would have its wings. “We’ll be quiet and we won’t talk for long, I promise.”

Dis sighed and tucked Kili’s foot back under the sheets, causing an alarmed yelp. “Try not to sneeze or cough on him. You know very well what a nightmare he can be when he’s feeling poorly.”

Fili grinned and settled back down onto his pillow. “I’ll be careful, Amad,” he promised, closing his eyes when she leaned in to kiss his forehead.

Kili reappeared a full minute later, dramatically gasping for air, hair in total disarray, and eyeing their surroundings with deep suspicion.

“They’re gone,” Fili told him, carefully snuggling up under his furs, using the temporary shift of Kili’s attention to reclaim some of his blankets. He felt too hot and too cold at the same time, and all of his muscles ached without any good reason. “There’s every chance that you’ll get ill too if you stay here,” he warned, watching Kili push his hair out of his eyes and move to make himself comfortable.

“I’ll be fine,” Kili insisted and Fili couldn’t bring himself to feel cross with him when Kili pressed his cheek against Fili’s shoulder like that. “It’s you that’s all hot and full of snot,” the younger grumbled.

Fili would have scoffed at that, but it was in that very moment that his nose decided it didn’t like some speck of dust or other, no doubt disturbed by Kili’s dramatic entrance, and Fili sneezed, wings fluttering and all.

Kili pulled a disgusted face.

Fili rolled his eyes.

“Sleep, stupid,” Kili told him once Fili was done blowing his nose, yanking him back down into the covers none-too gently. “You need to get better soon, so I can show you all the improvements I’ve made to the snail farm.”

Fili feared for the lives of their snails in his absence, but he reasoned that if they were really unhappy, they could just… crawl away.

Meanwhile, Fili’s head felt like it was at least three sizes too small for him and half the time he felt too nauseous to even contemplate food, so all in all, sleep sounded like a great idea.

He snuggled in once more and was surprised when he felt small fingers in his hair, braiding it away from his face.

“Kili?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks.”

A little grunt of acknowledgement was as much as he was going to get out of his mildly embarrassed sibling.

Fili sniggered. “Tell me a story,” he demanded instead, because Kili was great at telling stories, even if his imagination did sometimes run away from him, but most importantly telling stories kept Kili wonderfully _occupied_. “One of those about the stars you like so much.”

Kili smiled and it was half-proud, half-kind, and Fili felt like perhaps it wasn’t such a bad idea to let him stay.

“Once upon a time there was a Giant Fish...”

 

\---

 

The consciousness returned slowly and reluctantly, thick like molasses and just as slow.

Fili couldn’t move his head, or it would shatter into a million tiny, sharp-edged pieces. He tried holding his breath and staying perfectly still against the pain but it wasn’t enough. His fingers curled up in something soft and warm and Fili grit his teeth hard, to swallow the sounds.

Kili touched him with infinite gentleness, pulling him up a bit and pressing something to his lips.

The world lurched sickeningly and Fili wanted to throw up, to scream against the spikes that were being rammed into his head, but instead he made himself drink. He tasted willow bark, wintergreen, and yarrow.

The strongest concoction of painkillers they knew about.

He drank all of it.

It was only when he was carefully lowered back down that Fili realised just how much he was burning up. His skin was hyper-sensitive and for the first time in his life he almost pulled away from Kili’s soothing hands travelling along his body.

Everything hurt, the pain slowly coming into focus as if the herbs had the opposite effect to the one intended, until Fili felt like he couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” came a hoarse whisper and it nudged something in Fili that bristled and rebelled against that hoarseness, stronger than any discomfort he was feeling. “Don’t leave me alone.”

For a brief moment he smelled arnica, before it was taken over by a much stronger smell of smoke from burning herbs right in front of his nose.

It felt like slipping, like slipping straight from Kili’s arms and into the past where a younger version of Kili was grinding herbs into a pulp with such an intense look of focus on his face that Fili wanted to laugh.

Everything melted together as Fili inhaled more and was left drifting.

There was touch, and more pain in its wake, but -

He felt hands on his wings and he knew them to be Kili’s. He knew that warmth, the gentleness and calloused fingertips, which on other occasion would tease and play with the edges. There was something wrong with his right wing and Kili was carefully feeling where the bones of his back turned to cartilage and then the strong, fuzzy membranes.

For a time, it was the only thing that connected him to the light and breath and heartbeat.

He held on to the soft love in those fingertips.

He held on.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	23. A Gentle Pair Of Hands To Hold My Heart - Part 4

 

 

Kili peered worriedly as another round of rattling, exhausting cough shook Fili’s frame, causing him to grip at the sheets from the agony exploding along his bruised ribs. He raised the cup with yarrow extract to Fili’s lips, encouraging him to take another sip, but one deeper breath and his brother was coughing again, choking on the infection raging in his lungs.

He called for Kili sometimes, sometimes tried to speak and, to Kili’s great relief, slept loads, instinctively curling up into a ball in his arms. Kili held him, kissed his sweaty hair, listened to the horrible wheezing accompanying each laborious breath and tried very hard not to panic.

Fili needed help, that much was clear. But he had already tried every remedy he knew of –

Except one.

Kili’s hands were trembling when he reached for an innocent-looking wooden case. He hadn’t tried it sooner, worried about adding to Fili’s discomfort and causing even more damage, but now he didn’t think they had any choice.

“Fili,” he put the case to one side for now and shuffled closer to place a gentle hand on the side of his brother’s cheek, stroking with his thumb to get his attention.

When the impossibly tired blue eyes cracked open to peer at him Kili nearly lost his resolve.

“I’m going to try cupping you. I think it will help,” he murmured, kissing Fili’s fevered brow and looking back into his eyes for some glimmer of understanding. “But I – I can’t see all of your bruises yet, so I might accidentally hurt you.”

Fili said nothing, but placed his hand over Kili’s and let his eyes slide closed again.

 _He’d say he trusted me_ , Kili told himself, rushing outside to stoke a little fire to heat up a bucket of clean melted snow, _just like if it was me, I would have trusted him to do the right thing_.

It was a daunting prospect nevertheless.

Kili had this done to him twice in his whole life. Once, when he was little, screaming and crying for the fear of getting burned, until Fili held him against his chest and promised to watch his back for him as it was done, warning him each time and murmuring soothing nothings into his hair while Dis completed the procedure. And then again, several decades later, when they were on the road again and Kili had caught a nasty pneumonia. That time Kili only agreed _because_ Fili offered to do it himself and because he’d said ‘shhh, baby, I would never hurt you’.

He’d seen it done often enough that he knew how it worked, but it was nerve-wracking to have this much trust placed on his shoulders. He briefly considered getting Oin, or even his parents, but he couldn’t imagine leaving Fili’s side, not even for a moment, and thought that Fili would likely feel more nervous if it wasn’t him.

So instead he made himself unpack the little glass cups and place them in the hot, soapy water for cleaning, dry them thoroughly and lay them out on top of a clean towel. A carefully secured candle nearby would be his source of flame and a little twig with some fluff wrapped around the end was ready to be lit.

He looked to Fili again. The fairy was watching him through heavy-lidded eyes, quiet, except for the occasional cough.

“I’m going to help roll you over onto your front, okay?” he whispered, kissing Fili’s cheek, which earned him a tired smile.

Fili tried moving himself, but really, it was Kili’s careful hands that settled him how Kili needed him. There was a quiet groan as Fili hugged his pillow and fought a coughing fit that took his breath away for several long minutes.

Kili waited patiently for it to pass, one hand placed between Fili’s wings, able to _feel_ how much things rattled inside Fili’s chest.

“Okay?” he asked once it finally subsided, pulling the golden hair to one side to reveal the nape of his neck. A quick rub there, just with his thumbs, had Fili relaxing enough to let his hands slide down to either side of his body.

“Hnnn…” Fili moaned, closing his eyes and looking ready to fall asleep in this new position.

Kili smiled and reached for the sponge and hot water. Fili had shuck his shirt a while ago, having sweated so much that each of them was ending in a wet mess within minutes. He was now wearing only loose-fitting cotton pants and in any other circumstances Kili would have relished the opportunity to pamper the gorgeous body displayed before him with a sponge bath.

As it was however, Kili focussed on being gentle but thorough, watching the sort of shivers run down his back that were driven not by pleasure but by the fever.

“I love you. It will be okay,” he whispered half to himself, half to his brother, kissing several bumps of his spine, before reaching for the scented oil they normally used for very different purposes.

Fili moaned again as Kili’s hands gently rubbed the oil into his skin, moving both his wings first to one side and then the other, occasional gasps and hisses signalling where there was a bruise, not yet visible.

Kili winced each time and made a mental map of Fili’s injuries. His left shoulder was just a giant mess of pain and Kili avoided it after the first swipe of his fingers. His left side wasn’t much better, but there was also a spot just above Fili’s right kidney that made him grip the sheets tight. And then there was the right wing itself of course, folded away neatly now, but still incredibly sensitive and perhaps sprained or bruised at the root, Kili wasn’t sure.

He wanted to lean in and kiss him, shower his brother with love and closeness, felt so full of affection mixed with worry that he thought he might explode. But right now his touches hurt and Fili was struggling to breathe and it was down to Kili to help him, before he could have him back.

 _I won’t have it hurt_ he thought with grim determination, looking at the helpless fairy splayed before him.

He lit the twig, twirled the flame thoroughly inside the cup and placed the first one on his own forearm.

He hissed almost instantly, snatching it off and blowing at the reddening skin.

Less flame then.

The trick was to use enough fire to consume the air inside the bauble, but not so much that the glass became scalding hot. It had to be placed on the skin immediately after to prevent the air rushing back inside. His next attempts went the opposite way, several baubles just falling off, as there wasn’t enough vacuum inside them to suck up the skin.

By the time he had it right, his forearm was covered in raised, red circles and crescents.

Fili seemed to have dozed off and Kili silently thanked the gods for the small mercy. He placed one hand between his shoulder blades, not wanting to startle him, but also keen to keep him at least half-asleep for this. Fili stirred, but didn’t move otherwise, just as he would if they were sleeping together and Kili rolled to his other side.

The first cup just under the left wing, second next to it, slightly higher, third one close to the spine, and he watched Fili blink himself awake and twitch a little with every new bauble. It was a peculiar sensation, Kili knew from experience, although it didn’t hurt. But it was hard not to get nervous, as each hot cup was placed in quick succession, partly because you never knew where the next one would go.

He put another three around Fili’s right shoulder blade which seemed like a safer option, next three over his ribs, gently lifting the right wing out of the way. Fili made a little displeased noise at the back of his throat and Kili instantly put the wing back down – apparently it hurt even to move it.

The last five he placed along Fili’s spine, carefully avoiding the bruises already visible under the skin and blew the little twig he was using out.

It was done. Apart from the slightly odd angle of his wings, which couldn’t fold away neatly on his back, Fili didn’t look to be in any more pain than he was before.

Now came the pleasant part.

It felt as if the illness was being literally sucked out of you, Kili remembered, and when there wasn’t the need to worry about any more cups, the procedure felt really relaxing. Kili pulled the covers back up to Fili’s neck, making sure not to press them too hard against the wings sticking out.

Fili needed warmth and peace. The cups would stay on for about fifteen minutes – just long enough to draw the blood to the surface of the skin. Generally, the procedure tended to tire the patient out and the idea was that they would fall asleep during or immediately after.

Fili seemed to have no problem with that last part, stretching his arms to hug his pillow once again and wriggling a little to make himself more comfortable. Kili noted with quiet satisfaction that Fili hadn’t coughed once since the cups were applied.

It seemed to be working.

He stretched alongside his brother and tried humming the soft little song he remembered Amad singing to them when they were children. Fili desperately needed rest and Kili hoped this was his one chance.

By the time he reached to remove the cups, Fili was snoring. He gently placed his finger against the skin next to the rim and tilted each cup to the side, allowing the air back in. These bruises were dark purple and vivid and to some extend Kili felt guilty for adding to the already substantial list of his brother’s injuries.

But the deep, peaceful breaths Fili was drawing suggested that his gamble had paid off.

He blew out the candle and curled up nearby, hoping that he’d done enough to kick-start Fili’s recovery. He had been keeping himself awake with worry, but ultimately it was still very early spring and Kili, like all other fairies needed his sleep to survive. As the nature took its course Kili’s eyes slipped closed and the fairy’s last conscious thought was how odd it felt to fall asleep without Fili’s reassuring weight wrapped up around him.

 

\---

 

The next day the Hobbit paid them a little visit, having learned somehow that Fili was unwell. He brought with him some cheese crackers and a whole jar of chicken soup, for which Kili felt hugely grateful – it wasn’t often that fairies could afford to kill a chicken and it was the perfect food for a sick fairy.

To his delight, the soup contained whole chunks of shredded chicken meat, as well as tiny star-shaped pasta, a perfect size for the little folk. Now this was food that Fili could live off for a while, a point proven when his brother managed the whole bowl of the stuff, licking his lips and asking for some water after. Dwarves loved meat, especially tender, favour-full bits like these.

He then promptly fell asleep again and Kili watched in relief as the cough subsided, allowing Fili to relax properly, and finally start healing.

The fever held him for another five days, but when he asked for his favourite strawberry infusion on day number three, Kili knew that he was going to make a full recovery. That night, when Fili took his hand and pulled him closer, snuggling up despite the bruises, Kili knew that he had made the right decision.

“M’ sorry,” Fili whispered into his skin, and it clearly was one of his more lucid moments, because he was tugging pillows down, to protect himself from Kili’s wandering knees. “For making you have to do that. For making you scared.”

Kili’s instinct was to deny all knowledge, but it would have been a pointless lie. Instead he said, “you’re still here, so it was worth it.”

He couldn’t see his brother’s face, but he felt the stretch of his lips against his shoulder.

“Love you,” Fili murmured, warm and familiar.

Kili huffed. “Sleep, stupid,” he told his One, before pulling the furs over both of them.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can have a little look at the process described in this chapter [in this slightly crazy information video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQ63UH4Kp9k)
> 
> You can also find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	24. A Gentle Pair Of Hands To Hold My Heart - Part 5

 

 

Fili spent most of his days asleep – sprawled out comfortably, but barely conscious, his body protecting itself from the pain and trying to save as much energy as possible for healing.

But that didn’t save him from the touches – careful brushes of fingers and wings, warmth of Kili’s body close by but never close enough, or the hundred thousand kisses that Kili was delivering to his skin daily, like medicine. There was no mistaking the tactility of all that contact, the importance it held for Kili, or the slow burn it ignited in his own skin.

It was spring and the two fairies who rarely knew more than a few hours apart _wanted_ each other.

It was worse now, in a way, because their need was laced with fear, born of close calls, blood covering a chilled body and a heart stopped, and Fili knew, viscerally, inside his very bones, the sort of desperate terror that was only ever quenched by crawling under each other’s skin.

Kili _needed_ him, and that thought, that instinct, pierced urgently through the haze of pain and planted itself firmly in Fili’s mind.

Fili dreamt – dreamt of closeness, of whispers and moans, of Kili’s face, peaceful and satisfied. It was jarring, because each minute movement he was able to hold on to was pulsing with the ache of a sprained muscle or a bruised bone.

And so Fili floated, whimpered occasionally and watched his Kili with glassy eyes.

It would have been easy to assume that it was pure mindless instinct, but it wasn’t.

It was love, _love_ within every grain of Fili’s soul, that made him shoot out his hand to grasp Kili’s wrist and tug him closer.

“Make love to me,” he rasped, his breath sweet with the honeyed tea that Kili had just finished feeding him.

“Shhhh… sleep,” Kili whispered, placing a delicate kiss to his forehead and Fili fought to resist the temptation to obey.

“Want you. I won’t break, Kee. You need it,” he panted, exhausted from so many words. “Take it.”

Kili watched him for a long moment, frowning and unreadable. “You’re hurt,” he said eventually and the words were gentle, not at all like he was expecting, washing over Fili together with Kili’s fingers brushing his hair away from his face. “I can’t, Fili.”

“I love you. M’ not afraid of a little pain,” Fili protested, pressing his cheek into Kili’s hand. “Please. You could make it so good that it wouldn’t matter.”

“It would to me. You’d ache and you’d try to hide it, because you love me. Absolutely not,” his voice cut through the space between them like a diamond this time, and Fili knew, intimately, his brother’s stubbornness. “I know you don’t mind, but it doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t make me any less scared of hurting you.”

It only made Fili want him more, that small bright spot inside his chest pulsing with steady need.

“Stupid lil’ brother,” he huffed in mock annoyance because it was easier, more familiar, than pleading for touch.

“Look at me.”

This time Fili did obey, even though his eyelids felt heavy and consciousness was curling up alarmingly around the edges.

He _saw_ that fear that Kili spoke of, understood how Kili’s hands were able to keep their distance despite the burning need that also lived in his soul. Fili could take the pain, let it intermingle with pleasure until it was a single sensation, would offer his body, his words, his soul, would do anything to watch Kili uncurl and be the carefree, laughing fairy he knew and loved.

But he couldn’t take the fear.

Kili was healing at the same rate as Fili was, his own bruises fading just as slowly. It was the sort of decision that belonged to both of them and Fili had learned the hard way not to try and take it away from his brother.

“It’s one thing when it’s teasing and driving each other higher, when it’s warm and safe and you’re delighted from the slight overdose of how much I need you,” Kili murmured, never once avoiding the hazy blue eyes, his hands pulling the furs higher. “It’s something very different when you’re holding back the cries that I can hear in my nightmares. It’s different when you’re actually _hurt_.”

“Mmmmm…” Fili groaned because he couldn’t _not_ agree, because if their roles were reversed he’d be furious.

“Sometimes,” Kili continued, “when you’re barely conscious or asleep, you curl up to me and your body does it because that’s where you feel safe. I never, ever want to lose that,” he whispered.

“You won’t,” Fili said simply because what else was there to say? The love in Kili’s voice was tangible, when he avoided the bruises and wrapped him up in all things soft and comfortable until Fili felt suspended in nothing but luxury and warmth.

 _You won’t_ , his mind echoed with an overwhelming determination, when the world swam out of focus again and he willed his body to heal faster.

 _Thank you_ , gratitude blossomed from within and filled him, but he didn’t think he managed to choke out the words.

In the end it wasn’t until three weeks later that Fili knew his brother’s touch again.

 

\---

 

Fili was feeling delirious.

Perhaps he _was_ delirious - between the herbs that Kili had been feeding him, the cold-induced fever that took forever to break and his body’s slow attempts to knit the injured tissues and re-energise the blood flow, where the bruises were fading to ugly yellow.

He felt a minute increase in pressure and everything was wet and slippery and curiously loose, as if his whole body felt too lazy to resist. There was an arm snaking underneath him from his good side, hand splaying against his sternum and over his heart and supporting him in place, lifting him up a little and pushing him back, which was inconsequential compared to the hot wet tongue lapping at the same time at his spine and up, right between his wings, catching a bit on his fluff and higher, over the nape of his neck – distracting, liquid fire along sensitive nerve endings.

He gasped, feeling the widest point of Kili’s cockhead pass inside him, eyes flying open and wings perfectly still as the same supportive arm threaded him onto the shaft millimetre after millimetre until it was firmly embedded, but not quite all the way in. It was easy, oh so easy, after everything Kili had done to him earlier to just open his legs and let his brother carefully, maddeningly coax his body to offer that little bit of extra give and then a bit more and more with his lips and fingers and the soft murmurs of ‘I love you’.

He trembled now, not quite sure what to do with the unusually slow pace, with the thoughtful pause, which all of a sudden gave him with a chance to process exactly how it felt to have someone he loved more than his own life complete and fulfil him is such a visceral way.

Kili blew a slow and deliberate breath of cool air over the wet skin of his bruised back and this time Fili _keened_ , actually keened and thought, in a brilliant moment of foresight, that he would fall apart like this, that he wouldn’t be able to stop trembling until Kili made him shake apart completely with whatever new torture he devised next, until he made him give up any semblance of control, _for him_.

“You’re perfect,” there was a breathy whisper. “You’re strong and fragile and loose but tightly wound up and fierce but quietly vulnerable. And you need _me_ -“ the hand slid from underneath him and Fili sank into the pillows and fluff, moaning as Kili shifted within him to a different angle but didn’t slip out.

“You need me,” Kili repeated in quiet wonder.

“Kili –“ he tried, but it sounded to him like _please_ and they have fine-tuned each other for this second language a long time ago.

“Slow, Fili. I won’t have you hurt.”

Kisses like a brush of his wings against his back, barely there and that familiar hand was now resting under his belly, lifting him a bit until Fili got the idea and helped, digging his knees into the bedding, but it was only for a moment, until a pillow was pressed under his hips and then another, elevating him. His legs spread out wider, robbing him of his purchase when Kili settled properly between them, his knees on either side of the pillows, the little movements of the length still buried inside him making him growl in annoyance.

Unconcerned, with all the resilience of a younger brother, Kili shoved another pillow under Fili’s shoulders, taking some of the pressure off and making it easier to breathe, while Fili fisted the fluff in his hands; he didn’t want to breathe. He wanted to press into Kili’s skin and lose himself in the feeling, the taste, the smell, the heat of it –

All his thoughts crashed and fractured when several things happened simultaneously: Kili’s hands shifted and dove between the pillows and the sensitive skin of his lower abdomen, brushing his cock without the sense of purpose Fili needed, gathering and cradling his pelvis as if it was a sapling to be planted into the firm ground of Kili’s front. His brother rose with him, behind him, powerful thighs shifting, and pulled him onto himself, and it shifted and slid, slid right into him, over that spot that made him pant and gasp and deeper, so deep and sweet and full.

Not by his hips then, like he was expecting, never by his hips, mottled with an uneven outline of bruises, so many bruises and skin that still _hurt_ , where it should register pleasure. But Fili’s stomach was blissfully free of any marks except those that Kili’s fingers would leave, later, because for now it was all _liquid_ , exactly like waves, like floating weightless in a stream when Fili forgot that he wasn’t supposed to let his guard down.

The perfect sense of completeness and pressure crested, as Kili loosened his grip, gently letting him slide down and onto the pillows and Fili would resist, would push back and shove, set his own rhythm and demand, but all his limbs felt impossibly heavy, pulsing with the low thrum of desire which Kili had effortlessly woken up, rubbed, pressed, sucked and kissed into him for minutes, hours, perhaps days before, the clever little traitor.

As it was, all Fili could do was snarl and clench helplessly against being _deprived_ , feel that wet drag and demand “again!” - a strung up victim of his own addiction.

Kili obliged, and there was it again, building, building, perfect, close, impossibly close, like in the middle of the winter when they share heat, breath and dreams and now a breathless, helpless little “ffffuck –“ when Fili took it all.

“Again!” He demanded long before he was allowed to slip away, as if the low tide wasn’t necessary for the high tide to occur.

There was a brush of Kili’s hair against his spine and wings as he was pulled back again, his muscles curling easily under the familiar guidance of Kili’s palms and he couldn’t tell anymore if he was being lifted or if it was his own body lifting him, obedient to the one he belonged to.

“Easy, love. With me…” Kili soothed, but –

“No!” He choked out when Kili got the angle just right and sent him into a blinding stab of the sort of pleasure that could burn him in an instant and leave him a trembling wreck. “P-please. I need –“

“Me.” So simple, as he was pegged just right again, wings fluttering involuntarily when he was lowered.

“You.”

“Say it.” Kili growled with that note of possessiveness that made Fili both immensely proud and fiercely smug. The waves Fili was riding were starting to crest violently now against the shores of Kili’s stomach, resounding with the same force deep inside him, the lewd slap of skin on skin driving him insane.

“I need you,” he gave in because Mahal help him, he could feel himself breaking, shaking apart with the gentleness of touches that cared for him, avoided his bruises, held him and spelled love across his skin, because it was _Kili_ , _Kili’s_ voice, _Kili’s_ body, _Kili’s_ hands that were doing this to him. “Harder!”

Kili gave him harder, several short thrusts that left him gasping, would leave him sore if they continued, the sort of thrusts that Kili liked. And he would take those, he’d take them hard, debauched and spread and _fucked_ like an animal, mindless and perfect for rutting himself into oblivion, if that was all that Kili wanted to give him.

But Kili slowed them down, undulated his hips, making Fili follow the movement automatically, making them twist and dance once again. Kili dragged it out, gave it to him in exquisite, slow, long thrusts piercing right through him–

“No, no, no, no, no, Kili –!“

“Shhhh… You’re okay.”

“Fuck me!”

“No. Not like this. Let me make love to you.”

He almost sobbed, part in frustration, part in relief and completely in love, but ultimately failed to keep in the desperate keening noise when Kili took him in hand, somehow slick with oil, squeezed just right and allowed him to rut into it, while he _took_ him, really took him, suddenly close above his back, kissing his good shoulder but careful not to pin him, his length rolling through Fili, thick and heavy, each stroke turning the shivers more violent. Fili vaguely noted that he was moving on his own now, muscles locked in a rhythm that Kili dictated with nothing more than clever, measured twists of his hips and low whispers of ‘just like that, you feel so good, I love you, want to feel you, I love you, Fili.’

Somewhere between a cruelly familiar twist of Kili’s wrist around his shaft, a gentle nip to his left ear and the hard throb of Kili’s cock against his prostate, somewhere inside his voice and around the warmth pooling from his heart, which nearly stopped, but was saved, somewhere in the aching fullness of belonging, somewhere _there _they finally found each other.__

Fili fell or floated, couldn’t tell the difference, mind full of brilliant nothing and everything at the same time, body barely kept together and wings beating furiously around Kili’s ribs. He was filled, he was held and he thought he cried out, or it could have been Kili, it didn’t matter.

He registered Kili slipping out of him with a disattached sort of interest and the arms pulling him close, stroking his hair and the shivering wings with quiet contentment. He drifted off to whispers he couldn’t comprehend but accepted as his, because they sounded full of love, unconditional and forever.

 

__\---_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


	25. A Gentle Pair Of Hands To Hold My Heart - Part 6

 

 

Blue eyes fluttered open under the flood of golden sunlight, their colour all the brighter for the stark contrast.

Fili watched for a moment the specks of dust dancing in the sunlight, before his gaze settled on the familiar silhouette of Kili’s shoulders, wings and messy hair, which right now seemed to be glowing in the crisp spring air.

It was beautiful.

He shivered when the cool air hit his skin, a gentle breeze brushing over his wings and hair, making him tug one of the furs higher over his exposed shoulder. Kili was lifting the edges of their nest’s covers, rolling them up, and Fili allowed himself to drown in the sounds and smell of spring pouring inside.

“Hi,” he waggled the tips of his fingers sleepily at Kili, then pulled them back under the covers.

“Hi yourself,” his brother replied chirpily, but hovered for a moment around the edge of the nest’s basket, watching him, quiet and contemplative.

Fili didn’t ask.

He blinked instead and looked around curiously. The nest always felt hugely different like this – all open spaces instead of its usual enclosed warm cosiness. There were buds on the trees, Fili discovered, mortified, and some of them were already opening too.

“I brought you a little friend,” his brother announced, finally deeming it appropriate to fly closer with a little bundle in his hands. “This is Pansy. She’s only a baby, so she’s still a little bit squishy and you’re going to have to be careful. She’s still… cooking.”

Fili eyed the tiny, bright red ladybug placed in the fluff in front of him cautiously.

Pansy eyed him right back, and then promptly decided to try and crawl back on top of Kili’s hand and arm.

“No-!” Kili huffed, gently removing the insect form his shoulder and placing it a bit closer to Fili. “Go and say hello to Fili. He’s sweet, you’ll see.”

“You know they don’t like me like they like you,” Fili observed, reaching out carefully to stroke a finger over the shining red wings.

Pansy froze and Fili’s eyes softened, his fingers moving slowly to brush over the two white spots on the insect’s pronotum.

“She will. Like I said, she’s only a baby,” Kili insisted and Fili looked up just in time to see the faint glow of his eyes, as Kili rested his head on the fluff right next to the ladybug and whispered a couple of words to her, too low for Fili to catch. “They get seduced by the way we love,” Kili murmured, eyes ancient and distant. “They just want a little bit of that love for themselves.”

For a moment the rest of the world lost its focus and Fili wondered if he too was under Kili’s spell, like a bug drawn to his light. He thought that his heart wasn’t like Kili’s, didn’t allow for the all-encompassing love of everything alive; his heart was focussed on the single purpose of loving Kili.

He watched his brother, propped up on one elbow, as he gently nudged Pansy with one finger.

She took a cautious step towards Fili, then stopped.

Holding his breath, Fili slid the tip of his finger lower, stroking her head, allowing the antennae to feel around the digit.

“She’s too little to be a messenger, don’t you think? She wouldn’t be able to carry it,” he whispered, entranced.

“Mmmm, unless she was the message herself,” Kili smiled. “A sort of ‘come and find me’ call, whenever I saw her.”

Fili’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Are you trying to keep tabs on me?”

“Mmmmaybe,” Kili sing-sang, before closing his eyes and allowing the soft little smile to play on his lips. “I found her huddled among the little buds on the gooseberry bush, you know.”

There was something about the little insect, red like a drop of Fili’s blood, coming into life where Fili nearly lost his. It was a cycle that fairies understood better than most: precious nutrients were rare in nature and life often took over other life wherever it could. But back when he stood in front of the almost-dead plant, Fili never suspected that he’d pay in his own blood to allow it to recover.

He watched as the little insect slowly climbed on top of his furs and settled in the midst of his hair, where it seemed to fall asleep.

He tried not to move. At all.

“You do know of course that I will never be able to control her, right?”

“I think you will do just fine. You and Pansy will be good for each other,” Kili declared, leaning in to kiss him, deep and loving, and Fili responded, letting himself sink back into the fluff.

Blue eyes met brown, and watched, again, for a long moment, before Kili leaned in and started mouthing at the line of Fili’s jaw.

“ _I_ think that’s hardly an appropriate display for a baby like Pansy,” Fili breathed, but his body was already caught in the web that Kili was spinning, stretching comfortably and allowing Kili better access.

 _They get seduced by the way we love_.

“Hmmmm… you’re right,” his brother agreed and Fili heard, “fly, Little One,” whispered right next to his ear.

The words thrummed low and easy and Fili couldn’t help arching up. He slipped his fingers into Kili’s windswept hair and pulled him down for another kiss and they sunk, familiar and rolling, into searching hands and tongues that licked inside each other’s mouths.

The blue eyes flew open once again, in the gleaming light of the spring, as Kili kissed his way down his body, pulling the covers out of the way. He shivered and moaned at the stark contrast between cold air and hot mouth as Kili pressed against his chest and his hand slid between Fili’s legs. Kili teased, nuzzled and paused often, as if listening for something, until Fili wedged his elbows behind himself to look at his brother.

“Kili?”

“Shhhh… This okay?”

“Mahal, yesss…” Fili hissed and threw his head back, looking at the world upside down, without really seeing it.

He breathed through the little licks and nips that slowly took Kili down lower and lower along the soft hair marking the middle of his belly and sighed when his brother took mercy on him took him in his mouth.

He watched, heavy lidded, when that beloved face nuzzled into Fili’s hips and Kili looked him in the eye as his tongue teased the crown of Fili’s cock. He felt his legs open wider in encouragement, Kili’s hands sliding under his ass, carefully avoiding the outside of his hips, where the last of the bruises were fading.

“What brought that - _oooh_ ” he tried, but didn’t get to finish because Kili took him deep and Fili forgot what words were. He arched off the bed, one leg coming to rest on top of Kili’s shoulder automatically and panted through the pleasure radiating through him.

“May I?” he asked instead, his other leg moving to wrap around Kili’s shoulder as well.

Kili nodded, looking pleased, as he sucked just the head of Fili’s shaft as if it was a sweet on a stick. They have known each other too well to feel hesitant about what they liked, or to feel embarrassed when they asked for it.

Kili helped him catch his balance and it felt good to be suspended in mid-air like this, except for where his elbows supported his raised back.

They started slowly, Fili’s thick thighs shifting to drive him deeper inside Kili’s waiting mouth. _Now_ it finally felt like spring – desire to give, desire to take, intermingling and coiling tight as the two fairies moved into a well-loved rhythm.

Fili let himself feel, focussed on Kili’s wandering hands, pressing into his pleasure spots until one of them came to rest over his heart.

And then slowly, as if waking up from a dream, Fili registered that everything came to a stop.

He blinked in confusion and stared down along his raised body, only to see that although Kili’s tongue was still flicking along Fili’s length, his attention seemed to concentrate elsewhere, his fierce eyebrows drawn into a frown.

He must have made a questioning noise at the back of his throat, because everything was sort of overheating at this point and words seemed like way too much of an effort.

“Hold your breath. For as long as you can.”

“What -?”

“Just do it.”

“I swear Kili; there is time and place for trying out new things. If you don’t get right back down there, I will –“

Kili nipped the sensitive inside of Fili’s thigh, not very hard, but enough to make Fili’s cock jump.

“Hold your breath, Fili. For me.”

Fili growled low in his throat and did as he was told. There was no reasoning with his Kili when he got like this, all determined and inquisitive, and Fili, legs on either side of Kili’s head, cock throbbing, indulged him with a roll of his eyes.

Kili closed his eyes and once again seemed to _listen_ for something.

For a moment everything seemed suspended and Fili was just about to snap, when Kili moved his hand to his own chest and whispered:

“I can feel it.”

Fili stared at him, blue eyes widening in realisation.

“It’s slowing down,” Kili smiled and there was peace on his face. “You can breathe again now. I just needed to be sure.”

“You mean –“ Fili whispered, arousal slow and molten, somewhere in the back of his mind, as Kili gently lowered his legs and moved closer.

“I can feel your heartbeat. That’s how I knew you were in trouble,” Kili sounded hoarse with emotion, when he leaned in to kiss Fili, his hand finding its way back to Fili’s groin. He laughed and kissed him again and Fili couldn’t find the words to respond.

It meant _everything_.

“I could always feel it! I thought everyone’s hearts beat like that, in this twin rhythm, because there was never a time when it wasn’t there. Mahal, Fili, I didn’t even think to ask!”

Fili moaned because Kili’s fingers slid lower and cupped his stones and in a way it was a blessing that all his thoughts seemed to fracture half-formed, and in a way it was a curse because the dawning understanding was so much more overwhelming than any physical impulses of pleasure.

“I love you,” he heard, and the Power in those words was different, but just as naked as when Kili held insects in his hands. “I’ve _always_ loved you. Always. I just didn’t understand. You were always here, with me, I just never listened. I love you, Fili.”

Fili fell because of what he heard, what sank into his soul and made a home there, not what he felt. His body twisted from a quick two-stroke of Kili’s fingers, but he was only aware of Kili’s arms wrapped around him, of his wings fluttering furiously behind him, despite the slight ache in one of them.

_I love you. I’ve always loved you._

Fili fell because of the twin heartbeat in his chest.

He was kissed as he trembled and covered his chest in his own release and despite the injuries and everything that was shifting between them, he was kept safe and whole inside that kiss.

For a time Kili’s voice was the only thing he knew, murmuring softly into his hair, “I love you, Fili. I love you. You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

Kili didn’t want the favour returned, even though Fili offered. Instead he asked for closeness and after a brief clean up, Fili pulled him under his furs, warm and content because Kili’s hands wandered the ancient pathways on his skin once more, albeit cautiously, and it’s been _so_ long.

“Why did you never tell me?” He heard the quiet and gentle question later, as his wings were stroked back into submission.

This was important and for once the blue eyes looked away, something like sadness washing over him, but it didn’t hurt – it was warm and familiar. He thought of the years when he felt so horribly alone, as they grew into two separate fairies, of the times when his heart guided him or made him afraid.

“It wasn’t mine to tell,” he said simply.

Kili pulled him closer, swollen lips moving to kiss away the frown that settled between his eyebrows and his fingertips still pressed unwavering love into Fili’s skin. “You spend too much time inside your head, you know,” he murmured.

Fili snorted and curled up sleepily, still a bit bruised, but finally _healed_.

“And I don’t spend enough,” Kili added and Fili felt him press his hand to his chest again.

“That’s okay,” Fili decided. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

 

_\---_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	26. A Couple Extraordinaire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Dragonsquill, who today celebrates her birthday!

 

 

It was a sunny early April day when the Hobbit, still happily doing his rounds in his garden, met the Fairy for the second time.

That wasn’t true, strictly speaking; Bilbo had seen dozens of other fairies curled up around each other in their nests, since his fateful sighting of the Arctic Leaf Bush Fairy, but it _was_ indeed only the second time they had Acknowledged each other.

The Fairy in question was sat on a low hanging branch, in a nice, sunny spot and was… well it was hard to determine exactly what said Fairy was doing because although the tiny puffs of smoke rose regularly from his pipe, a quiet snoring could also be heard every couple of seconds.

Bilbo hesitated.

His last encounter was far from proper and has caused not one but two near-injuries and a fair amount of distress on both sides.

There had to be a protocol for these types of situations, Bilbo was sure, but he simply wasn’t familiar with one. He often considered what it might be like, but his imagination always provided him with images of an officially-dressed delegation of mini-people ringing his doorbell and Bilbo offering them tea and biscuits (or just one biscuit, perhaps) to discuss their mutual relations.

On the other hand, in Bilbo’s basket sat a sausage and a hard-boiled egg, which he did need to deliver into the Fairy’s dwelling and the little creatures had fascinated him all through the winter.

Perhaps it was Time.

Gathering all his Took courage Bilbo approached cautiously, hovered for a bit and when faced with more quiet snores, cleared his throat in the most polite way he knew.

The Fairy nearly fell off the tree.

It was hard to tell which one of them jumped more when the sound caused the Fairy to flail wildly and grab at the nearest branch to steady himself.

For a moment they stared at each other in utter panic until the Fairy nervously drew in a slow puff of smoke from the pipe still wedged miraculously between his teeth.

“Good day.” The Fairy offered in a voice that to Bilbo sounded tiny, but pleasant enough.

“It is indeed.” Bilbo agreed, taking a careful step closer to hear better.

And so, in a manner utterly ordinary but thoroughly polite, a relationship between two Peoples was initiated, which would grow to be anything but ordinary.

 

\---

 

For fairies falling in love was a simple affair. None of the impractical drama other races seemed to go through; fluttering of heart, its regrets, hopes and uncertainty.

Such petty emotions.

Some knew for years. Waiting patiently for their intended to make the same discovery for themselves, an emotion that developed gradually until in full bloom, and never, ever faded.

For others it came as sudden as the spring rains. One day they woke up, perhaps briefly thought of someone they knew and there it was: a feeling in the pit of their stomach, a slow warmth spreading and rolling through them and this absolute certainty that now they _belonged_ , that their place was by their One’s side. Their Maker had found them a perfect match in the world and deemed it the right time to let them know.

Not everyone was blessed with someone else to call their own. And that was just as natural – there was comfort and happiness to be found in friends and family, and the same kind of passion translated into other things, each a unique gift to the fairy in question. Some said that the great artisans of old never found their One, their love poured into their craft, creating objects of such beauty and emotion that it was difficult to comprehend.

The drive, the passion itself were there, inside each fairy and it was a force that no one dared oppose. Everything else was secondary, there was no loyalty greater than to their One, no obstacle impossible to overcome. There would always be a way.

Nobody, ever, interfered with their Maker’s wishes.

It was considered rude, insensitive and about as effective as a child holding their breath in mutinous rebellion.

Nature took its course, like it always did, with the world that surrounded them and with the steady feelings the fairies nursed.

 

\---

 

Bofur often wondered later if his Maker had had a few when he created his soul and its Mate.

On the whole however, among dwarf fairies being stock drunk and still creative was considered something of an achievement, so Bofur had always taken it with good humour and chose to think that his sharp wits and a talent for song also had the same source.

For Bofur it was the roses. Bilbo’s damnable flowers, tall, full of thorns and pronounced gaudy by the decadent velvety colours of their petals. Certainly a far cry from the simple daisies, pansies and forget-me-nots the fairies preferred. Down to earth, plain, _proper flowers_ \- that was the sort of plant Little Folk encouraged and indeed spread whenever there was a spare patch of unoccupied ground.

But That Day Bofur caught himself thinking about the climbing monstrosities, thinking how he could save them from Thorin’s plans to replant their spot with a carrot patch and… smiling. Smiling like a fool, he realised, because the roses reminded him of Bilbo. In all his fuzziness, hugeness, fussiness and comfy, curly hair.

And that was it. Bofur was in love.

 

\---

 

Thorin took to the news with about as much good cheer as Bofur expected of him.

“Absolutely not!” He whirled around in the fluff of his nest to face Bofur, who was pleasantly sprawled in amongst the tasteful pillows, no doubt donated by Thorin’s sister – Dis. “You cannot be serious about wanting to court him! Never, in the whole history of –“

“Aaaaah, but that’s just the trouble, Your Royal Grumpiness,” Bofur interjected. The blue Durin eyes narrowed dangerously, but Thorin let it go. Bofur had a healthy amount of respect for his King, but he also firmly believed that kings in particular needed their jesters to cull in their ego. “This isn’t the history of the Fairy Folk. This is the history of _me_. And him. Together.”

“Yes, I understand what it is you are trying to do, but surely –“

“I don’t think you do,” the miner interrupted again. “He is my _One_. I wasn’t asking permission, I was simply telling you, and I only did you that courtesy, so you’re aware when the trade negotiations begin.”

It wasn’t often that Bofur felt the need to stand up for what he believed in, a low feeling in the pit of his stomach spoiling for a fight. He did so, when Thorin spoke to their people and offered to take those who wanted to follow him East – where he thought they might even be able to retake their old kingdom.

He didn’t regret it – there were times when Bofur absolutely recognised the need for a strong and determined leader. But he was rapidly arriving at the conclusion that _his_ Quest would end in the Shire, and that the reward exceeded his wildest dreams.

“And what if he tires of us and we are forced to leave?” Thorin glowered.

“I will stay.”

“You will be all alone!”

“No. I will be with my One.”

“I will not allow this! My duty is to watch over my people –“

Bofur laughed; he laughed at the seething outburst of a petulant child.

There would _always_ be a way.

 

\---

 

  
Bilbo Baggins was feeling out of sorts.

It was a peculiar feeling, like somebody was stirring things in his gut, which weren’t meant to be stirred.

He sighed deeply and resolved never again to buy his trout from the Cromptons.

Deep, in the warm and pulsing crevices of his soul, sat the knowledge that the fish had nothing to do with Bilbo’s current restlessness.

He had a garden full of miniature, living and breathing people, who bustled about his plants, laughed and loved, and generally coped pretty well, for an eight inches worth of mischief, but in times of crisis silently looked up to Bilbo for help.

The problem was, Bilbo grew quite _fond of them_.

At first he thought the fairies had surely picked the wrong garden. Master Gamgee, for example, had a much nicer allotment just behind his home, if significantly smaller and closer to the village centre.

But as the days went by and Bilbo watched the sturdy little race withstand each and every turn of the foul weather, he couldn’t help but think that his purpose in this world was somewhat defined by the Little Folk staying with him.

Bilbo shook himself out of his reverie and poked at his half-finished tray of baked potatoes, with the sort of frustration that came from knowing that the little nagging voice at the back of one’s head was right.

The hobbit added a sprig or two of dried rosemary (from the nest by the stream, with a small hoard of babies) and shoved the tray back in the oven.

As he sat back down with a fresh cup of camomile, Bilbo wondered if fairies would leave, when summer came.

And then, more specifically, he wondered if the Fairy With The Funny Hat would leave with them.

 

\---

 

“Are you really going to oppose this? You might as well try to stop a river with a stick.” Dis asked incredulously.

“I don’t know. All I know is that he is one of my people and I fear for him.”

Dis snorted. “This must be the first time a fairy worries for another who has found their happiness.”

Thorin felt more than a little bit lost.

He had no experience of his own to call upon of course, but he remembered the way it happened for Dis.

One morning his young sister, barely of age, sat her family down to tell them she was in love.

“I found my soul,” she’d said and Thorin never forgot the gentle smile on her face.

But that was different, because Vali son of Breli, was broad in the shoulders, good to have on your side in a brawl, brave and loyal to a fault. He did perhaps a bit too much thinking for a dwarf, behind those blue, serene eyes of his, but on the whole Thorin was prepared to call him a brother.

“How did it happen for your boys?” He asked, feeling hugely out of his depth and trying to gather more information so he could determine how in the world a fairy and a hobbit might _possibly_ work.

“One day they were all wandering hands and nuzzling noses in each other’s hair and all I could think of was ‘thank Mahal, there will be no in-laws!’” she grinned at him and for the umptenth time in his life Thorin drew from her optimism and strength. “To be honest I had their whole lives to get used to the idea. Vali said later that if they hadn’t figured it out that heady summer, he was going to tie them up together to a tree and wait until the shoe dropped.”

Thorin snorted.

“I will say this though,” Dis continued, her voice turning serious, “It was _painful_ watching Fili at times – the way he drew into himself at Kili’s laughter, the way he tried not to breathe too deeply for the fear of inhaling him. There is no exaggeration in the saying that a fairy deprived will wither away.”

Long after she had gone, Thorin found himself brooding. He thought of Bofur’s cheerful disposition, of his stories, some of which Thorin inadvertently heard being made up in their youth, or the way his hat’s flaps seemed to almost drop together with his moods.

Curse Bofur’s enormous heart.

It _had_ to work out somehow. There _had_ to be a way.

It happened unwittingly, almost, and Thorin found himself switching from brooding to _plotting_.

 

\---

 

It was a little known fact that Bofur’s best friend was his cousin – Bifur. He valued his companionship and happily spent many a winter nesting with him, for Bifur never imposed his opinions on anyone. He spoke little, and he _never_ wasted words.

So it was as natural as breathing, that in less than an hour from his curious discovery Bofur could be found in Bifur’s favourite sunny patch, carefully stretching his wings for some early spring sun.

“I think it’s him,” he said simply. “I think this is it.”

Bifur looked at him and then growled softly when his injured wing fluttered uncontrollably. Bofur caught it with ease and stroke over the troubled muscle, soothing it.

There was a companionable silence between them and for a time Bofur thought that his cousin’s silence was his answer, but it wasn't.

There was a quick string of Khuzdul from which Bofur fished out only single phrase: “he does not understand our ways.”

“Yes, but it doesn’t stop him caring.”

Another bout of silence.

“You never easy. Be strong. We will help.” A wild grin and then, “I’m happy.”

Bofur felt a corresponding grin split his face and his fate was sealed.

 

\---

 

Bofur was going to be strong.

He was going to be entertaining, interesting and informative, so a certain hobbit would want to see him and speak with him again.

He’d had loads of sleep, washed only that morning and carefully combed out his moustache.

Bofur landed in a flurry of wings, and promptly discovered that his hobbit’s slanted desk _wasn’t very good for landing on_.

He cursed under his breath, flailed a little as he slid down, trampling over wood and scattered papers alike, but eventually managed to flutter to the shelf above holding writing supplies.

Out of the corner of his eye Bofur could see Nori snigger, perched as he was on top of Bilbo’s tall cabinet. He’d been installed there the night before, without the hobbit’s knowledge of course, in order to watch over his friend from the shadows and help organise a speedy extraction if the need arose.

The little shit was no doubt _loving it_.

It was as much privacy as they were going to get, Bofur figured, once again cursing Thorins’ thrice-damned plan in his mind, as he finally settled on the very edge of his shelf.

He was finally going to meet and greet his hobbit, when his gaze landed on an open page of Bilbo’s enormous notepad, which now sported a winding, blue trail of smudged ink, in some places even shaped to match his own soles.

“Oh, _sssssugar plums_ ,” came out instead of a customary ‘hello, how do you do?’ and he was pretty sure he could hear his idiot of a friend cackle on top of the cabinet. “Well, it’s a good thing this isn’t the final manuscript, or that would’a been a right proper mess!” He tried hopefully.

The hobbit blinked at him. “Actually, it kind of is. I was just re-writing the final copy for the publisher,” he said, and Bofur, mortified, considered hooting twice like a barn owl as a signal to abort the whole thing.

He’d never live it down as long as he lived, but Nori wouldn’t disappoint him in his hour of need.

And then his hobbit laughed.

A proper, open-mouthed laughter that made Bofur clutch the birch bark scrolls he was carrying close to his chest, in an attempt to try and hold his heart together.

“Well, I guess there’s now a conclusive proof of your existence. I might need you to repeat this every couple of pages though, Master Fairy. We’ll say it’s a deliberate feature.”

“Bofur,” he corrected automatically, then remembered his manners, “ – son of Kerfur, at your service!” Bofur bowed low, trying to make sure that his soles didn’t come in contact with any other surface.

“Bilbo Baggins, at yours,” the Hobbit extended his hand, but withdrawn it quickly as the realisation dawned.

“You’re not mad?” Bofur probed carefully.

“It’s a story about fairies. Your footprints are rather fitting, don’t you think?”

“You’re writing a story about us?!” Bofur blanched, dropping his scrolls and forgetting to hover.

Thorin would kill him.

He’d have Dwalin slit the hobbit’s throat in his sleep and Bofur would never know happiness again.

“It’s only a silly little children’s story. Nobody is going to take it very seriously,” Bilbo reassured him. “But it does teach things like never touching a fairy’s wings or disturbing your nests. Would you like to read it?”

Bofur did.

He very, very much did.

He considered the long list of instructions about trade agreements from Thorin, the two full days they had spent agreeing those prices which Bofur had to assure and those that he was allowed to negotiate.

But the fairies were already trading quite successfully with their host according to their own conscience and sense of propriety and Bofur _really wanted to read the damn book._

“Yer gonna have to flip the pages for me,” he declared.

“Best we get a cup of tea then. And if you would be so kind as to take off his boots until the ink has dried and you’ve stopped print-stamping my house…?”

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/).


	27. The Perks of Spring

 

 

Fili put the scythe to one side and panted for a moment among the tall grass surrounding him.

A whole patch of grass has been neatly trimmed to an optimal height. It was far from finished of course and him and Kili would continue over the next few days, but for today it was plenty.

Fili rolled his shoulders to loosen them, feeling the familiar ache of a productive day in his muscles.

It was a good day.

The temperatures were pleasant, but not yet scorching and everything was growing like crazy, in a race to thrive over the summer months. The world was full of life and happiness and Fili was right in the middle of it all, enjoying the warm sun on his wings and the soft breeze cooling down the sweat on his naked torso.

He needed a bath of course, but first –

He picked the pitchfork and started methodically collecting the cut blades into a single, neat pile in the middle.

 _Perfect_.

He resisted the urge to just fling himself at the soft-looking pile, but only just. A sweaty fairy plus grass cuttings was likely to end up looking like a Marsh Monster.

It would still be there when he returned.

He hoped.

Pleased with himself, he collected the tools and hurried towards the stream.

That was where he found his Kili.

Gloriously naked, dripping wet and scrubbing the blood off his forearms with determination, he was always a sight for sore eyes.

“Hello, brother mine!” Fili swept down and hovered in front of the washing fairy, only to be rewarded with a grin that was putting the sun to shame and a brief, but sweet kiss.

“Fili!” You look –“ Kili licked his lips and Fili felt himself stirring at the thought of an afternoon that could yet surpass his morning.

“Do I?” he teased, putting on a show of removing his satchel and peeling himself out of his soft, worn pants.

Kili forgot to scrub, as Fili slowly swaggered his way into the cool water.

“You do,” his brother agreed and Fili laughed, delighted and pleased, wading up close for a more thorough kiss.

“How did the hunt go?” he asked, relaxing into the wet hands tracing his skin.

“Hm? Oh!” Kili beamed, looking like a cat that got the cream. “How would you like a nice roasted mouse for dinner tonight?” he purred.

“I’d like it very much, so long as I can have _you_ for dessert, before the mouse.”

“Brat. And they say I’m the spoiled one.” Kili chuckled, looking very much on board with the idea, if a twitch against Fili’s hip was anything to go by.

Fili shrugged and rubbed a speck of dirt of Kili’s cheek. “What can I say? You’re a bad influence. But you’re cooking, coz I’m beat.”

Kili snorted. “Fine. You’ll be even more exhausted by the time I’m finished with you, so I suppose that’s fair” he muttered.

“And I know just the spot for it,” Fili offered, treating his brother to his most sinister, narrow-eyed smile.

 

\---

 

It was a _spectacularly_ good day.

Fili’s greatest problems in life involved that one blade of grass that kept poking him in the ribs and trying to decide if he wanted his mouse with or without garlic.

Behind him Kili was giving off a steady, satisfied, post-coital purr, as his hands toyed idly with the fur between Fili’s wings. It was giving him pleasant little shivers, but it was lacking the sense of purpose that would make him want to go again.

They probably needed another bath, but that could wait.

He stretched out slightly, just to feel that delicious ache inside his body and angle his wings even better for capturing the slow, afternoon rays of sun. He flicked at the grass clippings by his side lazily and watched the pesky little twig roll down the side of his grass pile.

He liked garlic, he thought, and the mouse doused with sunflower oil and garlic tasted just _heavenly_.

Was it worth Kili wrinkling his nose every time Fili leaned in for a kiss for the rest of the evening?

It was, he decided; Kili looked cute wrinkling his nose.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


	28. Chapter 28

 

 

Kili felt warm.

He was dozing, tucked in against Fili’s chest, with his mouth slightly agape and curled up on his side, while Fili watched his unruly brown strands dance around his face in the wind.

It was adorable.

The weather wasn’t all that great at the end of April, with heavy showers battering the ground and fairies still prone to random attacks of naps, one of which Kili was experiencing just now.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Fili tore his eyes from a fierce scowl on his brother’s face, caused by a strand of hair tickling his nose.

“Of course. You were saying that Dwalin makes amazing jams and compotes, and making me want some apple and cinnamon preserve.”

They swayed again and Fili was deprived of the incredulous look on Ori’s face.

He used the moment out of sight to pull Kili closer and kiss the top of his head, revelling in the warm weight of Kili’s hand around his waist. The three friends have taken refuge in between the giant burdock leaves, protected from the rain and comfortable within the cradle of the leaf. The only problem with that was that the leaves were swaying gently in the wind, up and down, and not in synch either.

But it was fine; their conversation was relaxed enough, that they didn’t need to see each other all the time and it was fun watching each other disappear from view every now and then.

“And he does pottery. Did you know he did pottery?”

Fili smiled. Ori was smitten and it was good to see him so happy he was practically beaming. “I think Kili mentioned once. After all, everyone wants some decent plates and bowls…”

“Yes, but _how_ he does it! If you could see those powerful fists mould around the clay, shape every nook and cranny, gliding over the –“

“I get the picture!” Fili shook his head, trying to unsee the image in his mind, complete with the sparkling glitter that seemed to cover the description.

They swayed again, only this time Fili and Kili ended up higher and Fili was forced to use the tip of his wing to deflect some of the wind to keep them from capsizing. Kili murmured something incomprehensible and nuzzled into Fili’s chest. He allowed himself a quiet little coo and pulled the light squirrel fur he draped over his brother’s back to cover his shoulder better.

Ori swayed into view mid-eyeroll and Fili grinned at him. “Oh, we have a new pet!” he remembered. “Her name is Pansy and I think she doesn’t even hate me. Well, at least she doesn’t try to run away from me.”

“That’s new,” Ori agreed, tucking his own mouse pelt tighter around his shoulders. “What is she?”

“A ladybug. I think Kili enchanted her somehow. Generally she follows me around and occasionally munches on some juicy little aphids, when pointed towards them. The first raspberry shoots look nice and healthy because of her.”

“Oh, did you know that Dwalin can carry up to four beetles at a time? He doesn’t seem to so much hunt and tame them, as he just kind of picks them up and hauls them home. He once spent an entire day just watching me trying to tackle our sizeable herd and at least get them to know me, so perhaps not all of them will escape at the first opportunity…”

“Want me to send Kili over sometime to help?”

“Nah… he’ll only fly away with a small following of his own…”

“True…” Fili pondered his wonderfully bug-friendly brother and resisted the urge to kiss him.

“I heard that they’re going to try and hunt down a pheasant for the Spring Solstice celebrations,” Ori offered, sprawling on his front, propping his chin on his crossed forearms and carefully tucking the edges of his fur along his sides.

“Oh?” That got Fili’s attention. He loved the thrill of a hunt and something so big and fast as pheasant would take all of their skilled hunters to tackle. Fili loved hunting together with Kili – they just worked perfectly in synch. “Do you know when…?”

“Not yet. But I’ll find out for you. Dwalin is bound to be in the know.”

“Thank you,” Fili offered and watched the rain pitter-pat all around them.

Ori seemed to be slowly drifting off too now, his head doing a comical little up-jerk every couple of seconds and Fili thought to leave him to it.

He’d keep watch over the two dozing fairies.

He’d keep watch from over Kili’s shoulder.

Damn but that sway was relaxing…

Perhaps he could just listen for any sounds of danger and rest his eyes a moment…

Perhaps he could just –

Fili slipped into the comfortable embrace of slumber the same way he slipped into Kili’s arms: content, happy and safe.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com)


	29. Summertime Madness

 

 

“This is a _terrible_ idea,” Fili said, eyeing the deceptively cheerful-looking raft bobbing merrily on the water.

“Terrible ideas are my speciality!” Kili announced with an inappropriate amount of pride. “Besides, it’s perfectly safe!”

Fili exchanged an alarmed look with Ori, who shrugged. “We have studied various leaf shapes for the best layout. And I’ve managed to talk him into installing a second mast, in case the first one breaks, but in truth I think he only agreed because he thinks it will go even faster. Beyond that I give no guarantees.”

The sense of panic inside Fili only grew.

“It’s _magnificent_ , is what it is,” Kili declared, waddling up to his knees into the gentle shallow of the stream to load up supplies lined up on the shore.

“Suicidal, more like! You’ve no idea what you’re doing! It might sink within the first twenty yards!”

“Do too,” Kili shot back, little fists on his hips and a fierce expression on his face. “We’ve tested it! Charlie has been into the frothiest of waters and back without so much as a scratch on him!”

“Charlie?” Fili interrupted, well accustomed to Kili’s tendency to name anything and everything.

Ori pointed to the little dark brown frog, which seemed to eye them stoically. “We wanted to test the correct weight distribution, so we put him on board and tied the raft to a tree with a rope. We tried to ease him gently into the current, but, well… Kili slipped and I couldn’t hold it back all by myself, so by the time we managed to pull him back, he has really been through the fray.”

“Charlie is a frog,” Fili pointed out.

“Of course he’s a frog! What was I supposed to do? Put a bird on top? It would fly away.”

“Precisely my point!!” Fili snarled. “Between a bird and a frog, which one is more like us, Kili? Charlie was always going to be okay – he lives in the water! It’s his home. If Mahal wanted us to sail the great rivers, he’d have given us a tail, and not a pair of fluffy wings! Besides, why would you _want_ to go on this thing, when you could fly back home, like a _sane_ person?”

In all truth it had taken them two hours to get to Kili’s ‘Secret Base’, as he called it, and Fili wasn’t looking forward to having to fly all the way back. But in the morning when Kili had hovered above him with laughing eyes and practically glowing with excitement and talked him into skipping his lessons with Balin for the sake of ‘something truly remarkable’, it all seemed like a good idea.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?!” Kili waved his concerns off. “It’s convenient, comfortable and fast. We could have lunch on board, sunbathe and watch the world go by. We could sail right past our home and carry on downstream and see what’s out there! Imagine how impressed everyone would be if we discovered some lush, new lands! Perhaps there’s some beautiful, secluded valley up ahead, just waiting for us to settle? Perhaps we could stop having to move so much…”

Fili felt his resolve soften, as he looked into the hopeful brown eyes. Kili wasn’t dealing very well with never having a place where he could feel like he belonged. He stayed close to Fili whenever they travelled, wide eyed and unusually quiet and Fili even caught him a couple of times saying private goodbyes to his favourite trees and woods before they moved on.

“ _Perhaps_ we’ll all be eaten by some giant fish, just over there, around the bent, by that comfy-looking weeping willow,” he muttered, but without the earlier bite.

“Does that mean you’ll come with us?” Kili zeroed in on what he wanted to hear with all the annoying perception of a younger brother.

Fili considered. He was just going through his logical phase, so he made sure to make appropriate show if it.

On one hand, Amad would kill him. No matter how many weeks of doing the dishes Fili did, there was no way out of the capital offence of Kili Neglect, he knew. Perhaps she would even say that she was Disappointed With Him and that was fate worse than death.

On the other hand, Kili would go. Fili could well drag him back home kicking and screaming right now, could probably tie him to their home tree and he’d still go. In a day, in a week, in half a season. He’d probably chew his way through the rope. He had that sort of mad glint in his eye that made it into unquestionable certainty.

There was also a third option – drag his friends back and tell the parents. That way Fili under no circumstances could be blamed when his stupid brother washed ashore somewhere and –

\- and Kili would never speak to him again. Ever.

That was simply unacceptable.

That left him with the first two options and Fili reasoned that between death by his mother’s wrath or a somewhat heroic death as a teenage explorer, he preferred the latter. _Logic_ dictated that the second option had some slim chance of success and perhaps if they really did discover new lands, he could somehow be redeemed by, well, service to the community.

Besides, Kili was approximately 108% more likely to die without Fili there, than he was with him, and even Ori’s presence did little to reduce that risk. Perhaps if Fili died saving their life, he’d at least be remembered as a hero?

“Hellooo – Arda to the Dramatic Frown, can you hear me?” Kili broke his train of thought. “I can see the steam coming out of your ears and it’s not an attractive look.”

“What?” Fili asked not very intelligently, mid-calculation of how likely their mother was going to be to believe that he’d been abducted and forced to partake.

“Stop thinking and help us pack the rest of the supplies. I want to be well past our home by the time the sun sets.”

Fili sighed and ignored his brother, waddling deeper into the water to test the quality of the rafts’ built for himself. Perhaps there was still time to introduce improvements that could save them.

“Here, put this on.” Kili said, while Ori carried a somewhat reluctant and struggling Charlie onto the raft with the rest of their stuff. “It will make you feel all better. And don’t say I never think of safety!” He grinned.

Fili eyed half of the green, prickly chestnut shell incredulously. Kili was just tying his own one off under his chin, and although he looked utterly ridiculous, Fili was forced to admit that the husk would probably protect him from cracking his skull open. He hopped on board, strapping his own in a rush because Kili was already pushing the raft into deeper water with a long bargepole.

“Does it at least have a rudder?” he asked, longingly watching the green bank move away.

“ _Of course_ it has a rudder!” Kili scoffed, sending him an offended look.

“Not that it works,” Ori pitched in with a nervous laughter.

“He didn’t ask if it _works_ , he asked if it _has one_!”

Fili considered a quick prayer to their Maker, who was no doubt sitting back and thinking that the three of His Creations came out slightly… mad.

 

\---

 

It was fine, _for a time_.

They floated on gentle waves and Fili watched the greenery roll past them, balancing on board without too much difficulty, with only a little bit of help from his wings.

Kili even started talking about unpacking lunch, while Ori tried to document any landmarks they passed on their way on a piece of birch bark.

Then the current picked up, making the three fairies huddle closer in alarm. By the time Fili spotted the first rocks, their wings were drenched from the spraying water. They only hit one of the rocks, before they realised that they didn’t want to hit another one.

Ever.

Again.

Lunch, along with any lingering dreams of being explorers long forgotten, Fili grabbed a barge pole and did his best to push them off course of any obstacles, while Kili did the same on the other side of the raft.

It worked, _for a time_.

And then they hit the waterfalls.

Plural. Not one, but _two_ , and by the time they went down the second one, the language pouring out of Fili’s mouth would cause Kili to acquire several new, awkward to explain words.

By that point Fili bravely decided to abandon any pretence of control, grabbed his two drenched and spluttering friends and pinned them all to the twin masts of the raft.

Water, sky, water, Kili’s hair, screams, _definitely_ not his own screams, water, heart pounding, as he fought to breathe and yank Ori over the water surface, tumbling, tumbling, endlessly tumbling.

His logic was flawed, Fili decided, planting his knee into the small of Kili’s back to keep him from flying off. He was right the first time, when he said that fairies weren’t meant to sail.

His idiot of a brother and their best friend _never_ listened, Fili seethed.

And then he spotted the third waterfall and he couldn’t tell how tall it was.

Fili regretted his life’s choices.

All of them.

 

\---

 

The first thing that pierced Fili’s traumatised mind was laughter.

Shrill and somewhat delighted, it seemed out of place, compared to the precarious bobbing that Fili was focusing on for the past half an hour.

The second was the fact that what was left of their raft, came to a rather abrupt stop.

“Wow, you three are in a world of trouble,” said a cheerful voice with a bit of an accent. “You’re lucky I fished you out, or you’d have ended up in the Sundering Seas.”

Bofur.

Fili groaned and took stock of what was left of their little raft.

They were all three sprawled flat on their bellies on top of the remainder of the deck. Fili was holding onto fistfuls of back fluff on either side of him with such ferocious force that his knuckles had turned white.

Good.

He was still breathing and he hadn’t lost either of His Two Idiots.

That was good.

Fili spit out his braid, crawled to the edge of the raft faster than he thought himself capable of moving and hurled the contents of his stomach into the gentle waters of the stream that nearly killed him.

“You look like a bunch of drowned rats! What exactly was wrong with _flying_ , if I may ask, that you decided to play fish bait?”

Bofur was teasing, but he was also rubbing soothing circles just above Fili’s wings, while the sounds from the other side of the raft told Fili that Ori was also returning things back to nature.

He grimaced and scooped some clean water to thoroughly wash out his mouth.

“Well, that could have been worse,” Kili declared, sitting up with his back to one of the broken masts and slightly wild around the eyes.

“Fili and Kili Durin!” sounded a new, female voice and Fili hid his face in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


	30. Blue Ribbon

Everything was perfect. 

They were curled up comfortably in a glorious, sunny spot on top of the softest patch of moss for miles. It was a remote part of the forest, beautiful and wild, created, it would seem, just for the two of them.

They had made love, several times, moaning and demanding to their hearts content, and were just dozing off, when a brown messy head perked up, listening for something.

Fili made a soothing noise in the back of his throat and pulled his brother closer, fingers stroking lazily over his wings.

"Big folk," Kili announced, resisting the pull of quiet pleasure that his wings were telegraphing.

Fili blinked at him several times (and he did look unreasonably adorable when he was sleepy), then sat up and rubbed his eyes. When he opened them again they were glowing faintly with cool blue, as Fili searched the forest for any signs of life.

Kili repressed an interested twinge from his nether regions and considered how no one should be allowed to go from adorable to hot in two seconds flat.

"A little one," Fili corrected gently, then yawned and stretched all the way to the tips of his wings.

"No, I'm sure! It's too big to be -"

"I meant a little one of the Big Folk. They shine brighter."

"You mean a bairn?!" Kili's eyes were as wide as saucers.

Fili nodded. "We should hide."

Hobbit children were far more dangerous than grown hobbits. A grown hobbit saw something their mind couldn't explain and they ran away screaming; a child saw something unusual and tried to grab it and possibly eat it.

"What is it doing all the way here?! Must be miles away from Hobbiton!" Kili objected, following his brother into the safety of the higher branches.

That's when they heard it: an unmistakeable, terrifying sniffle.

The little girl couldn't be much older than a couple of decades in fairies' estimate. She was wearing a brightly coloured skirt, embroidered in little white flowers, a white blouse, which was rapidly changing colour to muddy-green and an apron, with hair pulled back into two mousy-coloured pigtails. She was just wiping her nose on the sleeve of her once white blouse.

"We can't leave her here," Kili hissed in the closest thing to a whisper he was capable of. "She'll never find her way back on her own!"

Next to him, Fili nodded thoughtfully. "Agreed. But we also mustn't be seen. Not all of the Hobbits are like Bilbo."

"She could be kind," Kili insisted, wriggling on top of his branch impatiently. "We could just -"

Kili didn't get to finish what they could just. Instead Fili watched him tumble right down together with the broken twig and flutter his wings desperately to try and stay airborne.

He froze, transferring his gaze onto the little girl below. But instead of looking up towards the source of the noise, there was a quiet little squeak and the Hobbitling darted in the opposite direction.

Interesting.

Kili meanwhile let go of the broken branch and was doing his best to look like a nonchalantly hovering part of the tree, only a bit more pink around the ears.

"C'mon," Fili whispered and they both followed after the girl.

When they caught up, she was standing wide-eyed and hesitant in a clearing.

Fili grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him in the direction of the denser forest. The two fairies watched her for a moment longer, hovering silently and then Fili very deliberately grabbed the nearest twig ... and broke it.

There was a gasp and the girl bolted.

"Don't scare her!" Kili thwapped his brother upside the head.

"But if it works..." 

Kili was unimpressed, but had to admit that work, it did.

After that it was like trying to herd a cat. A very scaredy cat. They worked as a team, snapping twigs and jostling leaves here and there, making sure the girl was headed in the right direction.

Overall, they thought, it was going well. 

Until there was a startled cry and the two fairies watched the girl slip dangerously on some uneven ground.

There was another distressed wail and then an angry-looking, scrapped knee was revealed. Like all children's knees, it was extra full of blood for that most spectacular-looking injury.

There were tears. Huge, heart-broken child's tears.

Fili bit his lip and shot down. 

He didn't get very far, as a warm weight of his brother barrelled right into him and slingshotted them outside of the girl's line of sight.

"What happened to 'we mustn't be seen?!'" Kili hissed, braking sharply with his wings, before the two of them hit a tree.

"She's crying! What if she's seriously hurt?" 

"I know," Kili whined, looking almost as distressed as the child. "Wait here!" he ordered and with that he was gone.

Fili did as he was told, feeling more and more guilty by the second. After all, soothing a Hobbitling couldn't be all that different from soothing a distressed fairy bairn.

And then something strange happened: seemingly out of nowhere flowers started raining around the little girl.

She sniffed and picked a daisy, which settled on the hem of her bloodied skirt. By the time she looked up Kili was long gone, sitting instead on a tall branch nearby, looking pleased with himself.

Fili smiled and joined him, and the two of them waited patiently until the tears were dried, nose was wiped and the girl was back on her feet. They gave her another moment before jumping up and down on their branch to rustle some leaves.

By the time the forest started thinning out the girl wasn't even sniffling any more. She'd run for a bit, then stop and listen for her little, hidden guides to make another noise.

They waited until she got to the point where she could clearly see the village in the distance and set off running. 

Fili waved her off, feeling oddly sentimental. "Bilbo will never believe us when we tell him," he murmured cheerfully.

"Perhaps he will," Kili winked, pointing to one of the bushes nearby, with a blue, embroidered ribbon fluttering in the breeze.

Fili chuckled and ducked down to retrieve it. "You could wear it as a sash."

"Can you imagine Thorin's face when we explain how we came by it?"

Both fairies grinned, before watching the little girl in the distance make an inappropriate amount of noise as she fell into her grandfather's arms.

"You did well," Fili whispered, wrapping his arm around his brother's waist and giving an affectionate nuzzle to the corner of his mouth.

" _We_ did," Kili corrected and turned to kiss the love of his life properly. He wondered if they could go back to where they left off...


	31. Festival of Fire

 

The Autumn Equinox. The last big hurrah before the wind, rain and snow force the fairies to hide away deep in their nests to slumber throughout the winter. Celebration of harvest, of light and darkness and spirits – stories of the things that have come to pass and hopes for the things yet to happen.

For those who will not survive the winter, often their last happy memory as they fall asleep forever. For the little ones, who usually hatch in the autumn but don’t get to taste the real happiness until the summer next, the first bright spark in their life before they are made to wait through the long, dark moths.

Life – ripe and fulfilling, most outrageous and daring on the night of the Equinox. Death – mysterious and quiet, empty, where substance used to live. Laughter and kindness, which can never return.

Fairy folk suspended right on the cusp of both, more aware of the struggle between the two than ever. Darkness and light twisting together in contrast that is never sharper than on this night.

The Festival of Fire, the one night when the flames aren’t hidden away, but instead shoot tall and proud into the sky to show that they are ready, that they will fight and survive.

The fairies dance, right there in the centre of it all, in between three bonfires set in a triangle to illuminate the stage, heavy with the atmosphere and nostalgia. They dance for the spirits, through their own movements giving them the brief taste of the life they lost, they dance for each other, so they remember the strength they need to survive and this year.

Kili squirms in his seat, moving his eyes from the Big Folk to Bifur who has just flown into the centre between the fires and landed heavily. He’s dancing with feathers, black, long and carefully arranged in his grasp, both helping him stay in the air and drawing their attention to his injured wing, his movements delicate and liquid, perhaps even more so than of those who take flight for granted.

“ _Beautiful_ ” Kili whispers under his breath, moved and suddenly much more aware of the hundred eyes which in a moment will follow _him_.

“He is, isn’t he?” Fili agrees by his side and the butterflies in his stomach do a rapid flip, when he feels Fili’s fingertips tracing the edges of his wings, calming him, as if he was little again.

He nods carefully, licking his lips.

This will be Kili’s first ever dance. Although he’s come of age last year, his birthday falling four days before the Festival, like most young fairies he’s been made to wait, only really allowed to perform a year later. The last grace period, although he’s already considered an adult, battle-ready, trial-ready and – Kili blushes – mate-ready.

“You’ll be fine, little brother.”

Kili breathes deeply, feeling Fili’s reassuring presence closer now, standing between him and the audience, the dark figure with the golden hair aflame from the lights behind him.

Everything about him _glows_.

Fili, being five years older, has of course done this several times by now, and each time Kili has been blown away by his performance. Fili dances the same way he fights: fury of the line of Durin, freedom he always craves in everything, laughter he inspires so easily. He commands the eyes and hearts of the spectators with the same ease as he flies or walks.

Kili’s heart started betraying him gently, little by little slipping away from him since that first year, when he watched the cocky quirk of Fili’s lips as he _strutted_ into the stage.

When last year Fili choose to dance with his swords, dangerous and daring for the potential to injure his own wings, but unlike their parents, Kili wasn’t even surprised.

All he remembers from that dance is the glint of light on the metal and on Fili’s skin, the heavy fall of the blond strands around his face as he lands, lips parted to catch panting breaths, blue eyes glowing dangerously in the dark and his body made hot, flexible and pliant with the exertion. And in that moment, when Fili’s eyes lock on his, Kili knows, just _knows_ that his brother is dancing for _him_ , a hundred strangers, friends, kin and family between them and not one of them matter except…

 _Brother_.

He couldn’t take it, fled into the shadows and stroke himself off to a shameful and hurried completion, to the sound of Fili’s voice searching for him.

He didn’t think it could get any worse.

Until this year, when Thorin allowed them to dance together.

Hours, days and weeks of rehearsals, of twisting sinuously around Fili, of watching him fly like he’s the wind itself, of guarding one another, pulling each other from too-tight pirouettes, of accidental bumps and crashes and touches, _so many touches_ , and each and every one of them lethal for Kili’s heart.

Until here they are, about to walk out there with _torches_ , even more dangerous than the swords, a show of absolute trust that they never even had to think about. Between them only a flame, as Fili tilts one of his torches to light Kili’s, searching his eyes and there is something new and carefully hopeful in the hooded blue depths that Kili has never seen before.

 _Anticipation_ , he thinks, before he’s pulled by his wrist and follows that familiar broad back and beloved brown wings glittering with gold, like he’s always followed.

“Ready?” Fili asks, his torches held high above his head, while Kili places his right in front of Fili’s bare stomach in an opening stance they agreed on.

“Always.” His lips whisper and he’s got no idea what he’s agreeing to, only his heart is singing _yes, yes, do it_ , and he can’t stop it any more.

 _A question_ , he thinks, as he throws himself into the flurry of familiar movement.

A spin around Fili, twist, fire on either side of him, fluttering of wings and pull, magnetic pull of blue eyes as his torches define a tight arch around his brother. Tug around his waist as Fili pulls again, this time physically, torches thrown for Kili to catch and he follows, letting himself be turned upside down, rolling in a wide circle. Breath against breath as they trap each other with fire, circling, circling, prowling, pouncing, violent jerk on their joined hands as they twirl faster and faster, catching each other’s torches from mid-air.

 _A dare_ , he considers, slowing enough to catch a flicker of those fascinating eyes.

They separate and spin violently, faster now, but no less precise, flame against flame, twisting furiously, clashing and jumping away, coming together so close that he can feel the intense heat on his wings. He catches an outrageous smirk and it’s more than a carefully orchestrated move when the passion in his veins makes him shove hard at Fili’s chest, but not before that hand is around his hips again, making both of them stumble backwards in an almost uncoordinated way, except they both land exactly where they want to land, as Fili discreetly transfers Kili’s weight above his own.

 _Trust_ , he’s almost sure he’s got it right now, except trust has always been there and it doesn’t quite render him so… helpless as this thing does.

Kili’s heart misses a beat because this is the part where – they come close enough to kiss, hidden by the flames around them. They don’t, even though Fili’s gaze clearly flickers to his lips, making Kili disoriented enough to almost miss his cue.

“Push me!” Fili hisses – _I must fall, so you can fly_ , he said when they first thought of this – and Kili does, instantly following him to the ground and pushing hard off his folded legs and strong arms.

The first few feet into the air he covers mainly with the strength of Fili’s thrust, his eyes trained on the half-naked figure sprawled on the ground panting, then his wings start flapping furiously to catch the torches they had thrown up into the air to distract their spectators, shooting up high above the bonfires and into the night sky.

The gasps from the audience tell him that the trick is working, so without slowing down he throws the torches higher still, like little flickering souls in the darkness. Just a bit more and Fili isn’t far behind now, he can see him chasing him, _breathtaking_ among the shower of sparks around them until – he senses the right point without conscious thought and –

It’s easier if he closes his eyes, every muscle relaxing as he makes his wings _fold away_ behind him. Few more inches upwards, carried by his own momentum and that perfect spot of equilibrium – weightless, timeless, motionless in the sky – before he lets himself spiral down in complete freefall.

 _You must fall, so I can catch you_ , Fili said and Kili agreed without a second thought.

Fili shoots past him, too focussed on the pursuit to be able to stop on time, but within moments achieving that perfect, weightless spot as well, before throwing himself down after Kili. From the corner of his eye Kili can see Thorin and others rushing to help catch him, but they will never get anywhere near enough to be of any help.

A gift of true, ultimate freedom, Kili thinks, spreading his arms wide, holding his wings folded away and watching Fili’s entire world narrow down to _him_ , a stab of desire, like nothing he’s ever felt before, shooting through his entire body.

And what could be more perfect for this night than this? Life and death, right here right now, bound and twisted together by the fragile thread of their –

 _Love_ , he breathes, heartbeat after heartbeat getting closer to Fili, getting closer to the ground, getting the flames behind Fili closer to his wings.

“Fili,” he whispers, his freedom suddenly worthless if he can’t share it, and as if in response his brother’s arms finally _finally_ are wrapped tight around his back and his wings, so even if he wanted to, he couldn’t spread them anymore.

For a split second Fili is the one at Kili’s mercy while the flames of their torches practically lick along the edges of his wings, before Kili snatches them purely on instinct, holding them two in each hand and away from his brother.

They can’t tell how far they’ve got left, perhaps not far enough, but they are together now and there’s a hint of that familiar daring grin, before Fili too _closes his eyes_ , and he’s never done that before, not in their rehearsals, but - _I will go wherever you go_ \- and he spreads his wings wide, tilting them to spiral and buy them more time.

It becomes uncomfortable when his whole weight starts hanging off Fili’s arms more and more, but they are slowing down and they haven’t hit anything yet.

“Kili,” Fili whispers when they finally come to a stop only several inches above the ground.

Around them there is only silence as Kili is gently lowered to the ground and spreads his wings, unable to have them trapped so tight a second longer. Fili lands too, taking his two torches from his hands. They look at each other, drunk on the adrenaline, but furiously proud and they bow down as one.

Only then do wild cheers erupt and Thorin lands nearby wide-eyed and ignored, while the fairies chant their names and Kili feels ready to burst with the sudden realisation of exactly what he _wants_ , what he _needs_ right now, tonight, always.

Beside him, Fili is looking at him, that thing he couldn’t quite name earlier clear as day in his eyes: _love_.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://linane-art.tumblr.com).


	32. Festival of Fire - Part 2

 

The flight is mad. A crazy dash through the undergrowth, away from the fires and into the cool autumn night. They fly for joy – spiralling and pirouetting – after the dance earlier this is the only way they know how. Something has changed, something delicate, something created of the two of them, intimate and attached to them with a thin thread of who they are.

When Fili finally lands on a fallen tree trunk – enormous, covered in soft and comfortable moss – Kili’s breath catches in his throat for a moment and he actually slows down so as not to catch up with him too fast. He remembers last year, remembers slinking into shadows and taking himself in hand while the visions of a glowing soft body haunted him. Fili had chased him, couldn’t find him, then.

This time they have chased one another.

And Fili – skin damp with sweat from the fires, hair a mess, wings glittering like precious metal in the moonlight - Fili looks more alive than ever before and Kili - Kili _wants_ …

“Paint me,” his brother orders, turning around, a slow grin spreading on his lips. He retrieves a little box from his pocket and hands it over.

Festival of Fire – the one night when the Spirits are closest to the living. They dance to entertain and show that they haven’t forgotten. They dance for the ones alive, who give them strength and the dead, to share something beautiful. And once their offering is made they paint their bodies, for it is one thing to remember and another to become spirited away by the souls long gone. Tradition dictates that the simple black mud from the river helps them hide from the Spirits for the rest of the night.

Fili and Kili have painted each other dozens of times now.

From the time when they were children and they gleefully covered each other in dots, irregular splatters and messy handprints, through adolescent years when it was a prerogative to draw some rude symbol where the other wouldn’t notice and try to wash it off, to the recent, slightly awkward smudges, symbolic and rushed more than anything.

But this is different. Fili’s eyes are dangerous in the low light as he stands comfortably before him, feet apart and hands at his sides.

Kili dabs a finger in the black substance and, greatly daring, lets his finger draw a slow, smooth pattern across Fili’s chest.

There’s a harsh intake of breath but otherwise no reaction, or at least none that Kili can see, with his eyes fixed firmly on his own hands. He can feel Fili’s eyes on his face, watching him paint him, but he doesn’t dare look up and acknowledge. Instead, there’s a wild pounding of his heart under his skin and Kili bites his lip, hoping that Fili can’t hear it as well as he can.

It’s captivating – the soft give of Fili’s skin, the teasing brush of his braid ends against his shoulders, the goose bumps on his arms. And yet he does nothing and Kili wonders if he might be able to keep his calm the same when it’s his turn.

Kili settles for an intricate pattern of lines, twisting all across Fili’s arms, shoulders, torso, deliberately flicking towards the middle to run over both nipples and then ricocheting wildly over his ribs, where the strong muscles live. The lines are smoothed out and curved gently towards Fili’s belly, criss-crossing the golden trail running across his navel, and then dip lower, lower, dangerously so, over the sharp bones of his hips.

More than anything, the ritual gives Kili the time to consider the physical. He knows Fili’s mind, intimately, completely, with all its complexities and strangle little quirks; he knows he’s comfortable wrapping himself around his brother’s thoughts, complimenting his quiet personality with his own cheer.

They’ve always been close – they’ve pushed at each other’s minds (and patience) more times than they care to remember.

But this – the chance to explore each other’s bodies - is something new. It’s a gift offered to him by Fili, with a careful hope that Kili might like it.

It’s not enough, nowhere near, and Kili feels a pang of worry that he will run out of warm, familiar skin before his need is quenched.

“Turn around.” He demands, feeling a bit emboldened when the blue eyes can watch him no more.

He’s touched his brother’s wings a million times before, yet it still stirs something inside him to see the delicate membranes folded away for him, the thick fluff where they sprout out of Fili’s back, exposed for his hands. Kili won’t of course slap the black mud anywhere near Fili’s wings – although it could be interesting trying to wash it out for him – but the broad and muscular back before him is another story.

But that too, eventually is covered in an intricate maze of twisting lines and, unbidden, Fili turns around to face him once more.

“Kili –“ He starts, but seems to run out of words.

Kili licks his lips, allowing his fingers to rest just above the waistband of his trousers. Slowly, as if in a trance again, he finally lifts his eyes to meet Fili’s.

“I want them off,” Kili orders in a voice that sounds hungry and breathless all at once.

The thing between them undulates and fills the autumn air.

Blue eyes never leave brown as Fili’s steady hands reach up and open the lacings of his breeches with a few practiced moves. The power shifts between them imperceptibly but Kili can tell, by the roar of blood in his ears, that some line has been crossed. His fingers twitch once, twice, eager to follow after Fili’s hands, but now Kili is making himself wait.

His brother carefully steps out of his garments and kicks them to one side, seemingly as calm as ever, betrayed only by the huge, endless darkness of his eyes. He doesn’t say anything and his hands come to rest back at his sides, now completely naked before Kili and although the tips of his ears are turning pink, he still doesn’t look away.

Kili doesn’t feel quite as strong, his eyes wandering down to his fingers, which have just crossed the valley between Fili’s stomach and thigh and paused at the sight of Fili’s length heavy in the golden nest of curls.

He can’t pull his eyes away.

He did that.

 _He_ caused it.

It’s because Fili feels - _for Kili_ \- that his body is…

He doesn’t realise that he’s said this last thing out loud until a quiet voice interrupts him.

“Kili. Kili, look at me, please.”

He obeys, eyes snapping up at some delicate tremble of uncertainty and fear in his voice; Fili has never been either.

“I can’t hold back anymore,” he whispers, blue eyes watching him as if Kili might bolt. “My heart wants you, Kili, it wants to belong. This is all that I am, Kili. This is me, all of me, and it’s yours, if you want it. _I’m_ yours.”

Kili actually looks away at that, overwhelmed that he could be given something so precious, and Fili is forced to reach out to touch him, to reconnect.

“I’m not trying to be cruel,” he murmurs so quietly that Kili barely catches it. “I just – I watch you and – and it _hurts_ to be so… alone.”

Kili huffs and steps right into Fili’s personal space, completely ignoring his nudity, cross somehow instead, that Fili would keep this away from him, that he’d try to deal with his feelings alone.

He’s still annoyed – now also with the height difference between them – when he leans in and carefully, gently, presses their lips together.

That first touch is somehow rigid but they melt within moments and pull each other in the way they want, tilt their heads, until the next contact is softer, searching, yearning and Kili can’t help but moan when they finally, _finally_ find each other.

“I love you.” He pants when they separate, because it’s spilling from his soul and he wants to wipe all that uncertainty away. “I love you, I love you, I love you so much, I can’t believe that you’d want – You’re my _One_ , Fili.”

“And you are mine,” Fili returns, grinning in delight, something in his eyes finally at peace and Kili can’t believe he hasn’t noticed it before.

They sink to the soft moss together, pressed together and full of emotions that will not be stilled before Kili discovers with some frustration that his fingers are still covered in black mud.

“I should – I should finish the job.” Kili offers coyly while his fingers touch the hot, sensitive skin and Fili’s hips buck up on instinct.

“You know you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,“ trembling lips whisper somewhere close to his face.

“I know…” he kisses off anything that isn’t a moan and shoves impatiently at his own pants, “but I want you –“ and oh, _how he wants_ to do all those things that have always been just a tiny bit out of his reach, to watch those blue eyes lose focus because of _him_.

He shivers in pleasure when his fingers finally wrap around both their hard lengths and Fili’s arm is around him in an instant, his other hand wrapping around Kili’s.

“Okay?” Fili slows them down, his hand spreading their precome and starting longer, more spiral movements, which have Kili gasping. “How does that feel?”

“Fili!” A tiny bit outraged that his brother should just interfere like this.

A kind smile, slightly arrogant and infuriating.

“Fili.” Softer, full of love and wonder, muffled by another kiss, when he realises that it’s less about interfering and more about sharing.

The feels himself tucked in closer, pressing up and trying to melt into Fili’s skin and it feels so good to be able to have this. Not just sex, but a sense of belonging and a curious kind of carefree happiness he’s never felt before. Relief, because at the end of the day this is _Fili_ and he thinks some secret part of him has always been terrified that it might not be Fili and he’d spend forever unhappy.

“Fiiiili…” A moan when a slow roll of Fili’s hips guide him to follow and it feels so much better, being able to thrust and pin this writhing body beneath him.

It’s almost too much now, like his emotions could make him shake apart, far beyond the painfully good sensation coiling in his stomach, any semblance of control long lost and he’s falling now, falling again, like earlier, at the Festival, and he knows that Fili will catch him, now, forever, always.

“That’s it, baby. I want to see you. Gods, Kili, let me see you, please –“

Kili keens low in his throat, drunk on the knowledge that he’s reduced Fili to this, that he is safe and that Fili too has been saved and everything will be okay now.

He can’t tell which one of them spills first, only that their writhing becomes violent and they’re watching each other, eyes darting from faces to groins to eyes to lips and somebody screams and for a blissful fraction of a second he is so much more than himself – he is, crystal clear, obvious and undeniable a half of a single whole.

 

\---

 

“I think,“ murmurs a hoarse and perfect voice, only a breath away from the shell of his ear, “that you should sleep with me this winter.”

Earlier that year, during the harvest, Fili approached their parents to ask permission to build his own nest. This wasn’t done often – a single fairy on their own could very easily fall into deep slumber and never emerge from it. It was a risk, but Fili argued “I’m getting a bit old now for this whole ‘sleeping between my parents’ thing, aren’t I?” and ultimately won his case, on the condition that he’d stay within flying distance and visit at least once a week. Kili had seen it as a betrayal back then and instantly demanded his own nest too (obviously he was denied), but it made so much more sense now.

Still, Kili is a brother and he has his standards, and a reputation to uphold. He’s not going to give Fili the satisfaction quite so easily.

It takes some doing to school his features into an expression of disinterest against a grin that is threatening to break out at the thought of the obvious message they would be broadcasting if Kili agreed:

_Mine._

_Claimed_.

 _Taken_.

_Kili’s Fili._

Oooooh, Kili has plans. He’ll add audio to that broadcasted message and perhaps a bit of visual here and there too.

“I don’t know. Did you plug all those holes I have helpfully pointed out to you earlier? It was practically draughty last time I checked.”

(Fili’s nest had been of course constructed under Vali’s careful tutelage and realistically was an excellent nest, but this didn’t stop Kili nit-picking at it from the day Fili put in his first sticks. It was a matter of principle.)

He can feel Fili twitch at that last comment but the steady rhythm of fingers in his hair never ceases. “I did. And I reinforced the pantry like you suggested.”

Kili allows himself a small rumble. He loves being right. “And pillows? There would have to be lots of pillows, you know I don’t sleep well without them.”

“Amad has promised to make me a dozen when I brought her the dawn from the last pheasant. There will be plenty for both us and them.”

Kili sinks deeper into the familiar smell of his brother’s skin and imagines what it would feel like to wake up like this every day. “And the provisions –“

“Kili, three words,” Fili finally interrupts, “Our. Own. Place.”

Kili imagines kissing his brother awake, pillow fights, pigging out on the food they like, lazily watching the snow together, endless cuddles and – spring sex.

He swallows hungrily.

“I suppose it will be a bit less crowded, with just you in there,” he pretends to consider.

“Do I have to do that thing I just did again?” threaten the dark blue eyes, the colour of the stormy skies.

“I think you do. I need a lot of persuading, me.” Kili agrees seriously, tugging on one of Fili’s braids to ease them both into a satisfied kiss.

In the distance the first fireflies begin to gather by the banks of the stream, like the guiding lights for the long lost souls.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


	33. Festival of Fire - Prequel

 

 

Fili frowned, inspecting their progress, now that the additional two piles of dried leaves have been dropped in.

“More,” he declared and Kili huffed in frustration. “In fact, let’s fill it completely.”

The narrow chimney created by the two tall rocks they had found deep in the forest was already three quarters full of the best padding they could manage. At the bottom of the pit they had cleared sat a layer upon layer of the softest moss they could find. On top of it was some poplar fluff dragged here from their nest, despite how valuable it was at this time of the year. Then about fifteen inches of dried leaves, squashed under a safety net of ropes, covered in furs, nailed into the rock crevices, which should have rendered the leaves useless. Above the net about three more feet of dried leaves and anything soft they could find, and by Kili’s count they still had about two feet left that they could fill.

“At this rate we are going to run out of leaves in the forest before you’re satisfied!” He whined in protest, already scanning the area for nice, dry leaves, easily accessible in large quantities.

“You will thank me when your head and wings are still firmly attached to you at the end of this,” Fili argued, bustling around the little canyon.

Kili sighed and gave up – Fili had this stupid expression on his face which told him that his brother wouldn’t give in until he got his way.

 

\---

 

“Remember when you were little and you used to fall asleep mid-flight?”

Kili crossed his arms at his chest and shook his head in a way which told Fili that he wouldn’t recall if Fili was to somehow transport him back in time and _show_ him.

“Well, you did. Your wings would literally fold away behind you and suddenly you’d just drop out of the sky. And I used to try and catch you and carry you in my arms, or if I couldn’t, at least protect you from the fall. I was constantly covered in bruises and there was that one time we ended up in a field of stingy nettles and –“

“Okay okay, I get the picture.”

Fili allowed himself a slow smirk.

“And -?”

“And I thought perhaps –“ he stumbled self-consciously over his own words “- perhaps you’d trust me enough to recreate it?”

Kili stared at him. “You want me to fall out of the sky into some stingy nettles.”

“No,” Fili rolled his eyes. “I want you to – I want you to let me catch you as you fall out of the sky.”

He watched the little hitch in Kili’s breath, the pupils blown wide and thought that perhaps – perhaps he was foolish to wait the whole year since Kili had come of age. But Kili was his One and he would do anything, _anything_ at all to make him happy, even it meant giving him the freedom to choose his own mate and, if the Gods didn’t will it, leave him behind.

And so here they were two days later, ready to practice, having filled the crevice to the brim with everything that would increase Kili’s comfort.

“Remember to take proper aim. I don’t want to have to scrape you off the rocks.” He repeated for the third time, thinking that perhaps they should spread some more furs over the sides, just in case.

“Fili, we are directly above it. I’ll be fine. Now how do you want me?”

Their eyes locked for a moment, Fili’s nervousness robbing him of his ability to think of a witty or snarky response –

“- Like this?” Kili simply stopped moving his wings and suddenly he was in freefall, delicate membranes and wild hair flapping around his shoulders as his eyes grew wide.

“Kili!” Fili was falling after him in an instant, wings folded tight to give him a chance –

But it was all wrong. For starters this was dangerous for Kili’s wings, flattened by the air against his back, then Kili himself was in the wrong position – head first, legs flailing and threatening to kick Fili even if he did manage to get to him, and finally, there just wasn’t enough –

“Hiyyyyah!” Kili squeaked as he hit the first leaves and plummeted right through them, followed split second later by an equally flailing Fili.

A soft thud reverberated through the forest.

“Guuuh! Mahal’s hanging hammer, get your knee out of my wings!”

“Well perhaps if you’d folded them in the first place –“

“Owww, that’s my _shin_ you idiot!”

 

\---

 

“You sure this is high enough?”

In truth Fili wasn’t. But he was confident he could try to stop them easier if he had a hold on Kili right from the start.

“Just – fall, will you?”

He was not expecting the violent jerk on his hand when Kili fell. It separated them and this was perhaps worse, watching his brother reaching for him, still unable to relax enough to fold his wings away, close but just out of his reach, while Fili flapped his furiously, in an attempt to give himself a bit more momentum –

A soft thud reverberated through the forest.

 

\---

 

“You need to relax.” Fili murmured into the warm skin of Kili’s shoulder under his fingers. “Maybe try closing your eyes? I will never catch you if you’re flailing like that.” This was true, and Fili wore the dark evidence of Kili’s panicked movements all over his arms and ribs.

“It’s just odd.” Kili hummed, made pliant by the massage he was getting. “Falling isn’t like flying, it… it goes against your every instinct and you just struggle to stay the right way up, to see, to hold on to you –“

“I know. I fall with you every time.” Fili reminded him quietly.

The first time Kili truly let go and allowed himself to fall, trusting Fili completely, wings folded away on his back, arms and legs weightless, Fili was so transfixed that for a few moments he forgot to follow.

… And a soft thud reverberated through the forest.

 

\---

 

“Look, if you’re so pleased to watch me land in there like a dead squirrel, why don’t you do it yourself?!” Kili was at the tattered end of his patience. “You fall and I’ll try to catch you, how’s that?!”

“Fine.” Fili agreed calmly and folded his wings away, instantly feeling himself fall.

“Fili!!” Kili chased him, twisting like a lunatic, reaching, reaching, but he was too far to actually catch him.

Fili closed his eyes and let himself hit the rustling pillow.

It was only then that Kili finally caught up with him, grabbing for any part of him, squeezing him almost painfully when they finally stopped.

“Don’t you _ever_ do that again, you hear me?! Not ever!” Kili screamed above him, his eyes so panicked that Fili didn’t even think when he reached for him, pulling them close.

 

\---

 

“I’ve got you! I’ve got you, brother!” Fili panted into Kili’s hair, finally close enough to actually protect him, but at the same time too close to do anything other than twist them around.

“Ugh!” A soft thud reverberated through the forest.

“Gods, Fili! This was brilliant by comparison! We are finally getting somewhere!” Kili chattered to him excitedly before Fili had the chance to make sure that all the parts of him were still attached. “Let’s do it again!” He demanded, dragging Fili back towards the sky.

 

\---

 

Fili gasped at the sudden pain at the roots of his wings, while he desperately tried to at least slow them down. Kili was simply too heavy by now to just keep them both mid-air, despite how hard he tried it.

“Let go,” Kili ordered, while his fingers found the right spot in Fili's fluff and pressed, making his wings fold back and single-handedly ruinning all his efforts.

They hit the leaves only a minimal distance apart and didn’t separate until the safety net caught them.

 

\---

 

Vali watched his two sons fall out of the sky together several times and thought that they had the weirdest way of courting he had ever seen. He supposed, in some respects, that when one courted their brother, who they knew since birth, there were only so many ways to impress them, but he still thought un-learning how to fly was a bit radical.

Vali shrugged, returning to the blackberry bushes (the fruit request by Dis) and trying to ignore the two fools madly in love with each other, screaming like lunatics in the distance.

So long as they ended up together, he could cope with some odd mating behaviour, although he felt it would be safer to keep this from Dis… just for the time being.

 

\---

 

“I think you should start from down there.” Kili shook the little twigs out of his hair. “Do a little dance or something, before chasing me as I start to ascend. That would look more authentic, don’t you think?”

Fili did. But the problem with that was –

A soft thud reverberated through the forest.

“Mahal’s sake, Fili, I didn’t tell you to take a nap down there!!”

There were some timing issues still, and they bumped into one another mid-air more than once.

 

\---

 

“But think about it, how do you normally lose speed rapidly?”

Fili scowled at his brother’s enlightened expression, which was only partially successful, when said brother had his fingers pressing everywhere where it hurt along his back. “I catch a twig and let it take some of my speed.”

“Or -?” Kili waited patiently for an answer which wasn’t forthcoming. “- Or you take a tight turn! It makes sense, Fili!”

“Perhaps, but I still don’t like it. You’re asking me to purposefully put us into a tight corkscrew – aaaah” Fili absolutely did not moan at all, as Kili found the sensitive nerve which ached and throbbed with how hard he had tried to stop them using his wings like a parachute. “- What if I miss my aim and we end up on the rocks? You think this is a game, but you could get seriously hurt if –“

He cried out when Kili managed to release the tension point, made tender by their practice.

“Shhh… I’m tired of watching you hurt your wings.” Kili whispered, his forehead coming to rest on top of the nape of Fili’s neck. “Out there, in front of the others, there will be no safety net. And that corkscrew may mean the difference between our life and death. So we will learn it, even if it earns us a whole new array of bruises.” Kili said seriously and Fili wondered when his little brother became so strong.

 

\---

 

“Fili? Help me out of here!" The rustling continued, interspaced with some choice words. “I’m serious, I’m stuck!”

Fili flicked several leaves near the edge and stretched languidly on the nice smooth rock, made warm by the sun.

“Fee –“ a whine. “Come down here and help me! I can’t fly through this! And I can’t – I can’t quite climb out!”

Fili rolled over, placing his arms under his head and dangling his feet off the edge.

“Waaaah!!” Kili’s voice took on the edge of panic now. “Fili, there’s a caterpillar here, help, I think it’s on my wings, yes, it’s on my wings, it’s going to try and eat them, heeeeeelp!!”

This time Fili laughed and started kicking the leaves aside a bit more vigorously, until an incredibly messy brown head re-appeared, glaring at him.

 

\---

 

Eventually they only managed to pull the whole thing off on the morning of their performance. Wide-eyed and dizzy with excitement, they hovered a few inches above the leaves, eyes locked together as Kili whispered:

“Don’t let me fall.”

“No, I won’t.” Fili responded and they both knew it was the truth.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


	34. Precarious Heights

 

 

Kili was seriously questioning his life’s choices.

When his parents told him not to fly too high he thought it was because they believed him to have poor control of his wings – which was nonsense of course; Kili could _totally_ fly like a grown-up.

He could do it all: pirouettes, tight turns, hovering in place, even the celebratory backward flips in the air (no other dwarfling could do that one, ha!). Kili felt immensely proud of his skills and each day he would sneak away to test his limits - flying a little higher, marking his position with a piece of a chalk on an unassuming tree trunk.

One day soon he’d fly like Fili: free, gleeful flight, unguarded and unhindered by the watchful eye of their parents. More importantly: one day soon he’d fly _with_ Fili, go to all those fantastic new places his brother had told him about.

So when he’d spotted an exceptionally pretty leaf one bleary autumn day (all golden and bright red and with delicate edging of green along the veins), which his mother _surely_ needed in her life, Kili didn’t hesitate long before spreading his wings and propelling himself towards his prize.

It sat really high. Much higher than he’d ever flown before. His wings were tiring fast, but he bit his lip and carried on, adamant that there was only one place he could rest. He reached the branch with the last of his strength, grabbing onto it for dear life.

Now this was not like Kili had imagined: the branch wasn’t nearly as wide as it seemed from the ground and it wobbled dangerously under Kili’s weight. He snatched the pretty leaf and – froze.

It was –

He wasn’t expecting it to be so –

I just looked so far and –

Kili grabbed onto the branch with both his arms and legs, suddenly paralysed by the fear of losing whatever little stability he’d managed to gain. It seemed like the ground was calling to him, like a single twitch of a muscle would have him falling.

So Kili refused to move at all.

He _couldn’t_ get back down on his own. Just couldn’t.

The sun started settling down while the terrified fairy clung to his spot. His muscles ached, his wings locked in a tense position, the leaf clutched in a death grip. There was nobody around, nobody he could call for help. It was a big forest and Kili had snuck out on his own.

They’d never find him here. And soon it would be dark and the little fairy didn’t even want to think about what dangers awaited him in the darkness. The spiders were nocturnal, weren’t they?

Kili shivered, both from the cold and fear, sniffed, and finally allowed the hot tears to run down his cheeks.

If only he hadn’t had that stupid idea!

Suddenly the branch shook really hard, making him produce a noise he would deny later on. He panicked at the new, much more precarious angle, whimpering and trying to hold on tighter, his pretty leaf long forgotten as it slowly glided to the ground.

On the branch in front of him sat a sizeable crow. It was eyeing him with one beady eye and Kili suddenly realised that while he’s never been attacked by a bird before, he didn’t know what they ate either.

He prayed that it wasn’t foolish, little fairies.

The crow screeched and hopped curiously closer, making the whole branch shake again. This time Kili cried out.

He didn’t want to die!!

The bird was scary, the ground was far, far away, and Kili was losing his grip. His gulped down his panicked, short breaths and tried to edge away, but the crow only followed.

“Shoo! Get away from him!”

Through tear-filled eyes Kili watched the familiar blur of brown and gold. Mercifully, Fili didn’t try to land on the branch, just hovered between Kili and the crow, waving a thick stick at it, looking every inch the hero Kili desperately needed right now.

The bird crowed once, twice, and took off, shaking the branch violently, causing Kili to scream in fright and tilt dangerously to one side.

He scrambled to save himself, but it’s been hours and the fingers paralysed stiff with fear wouldn’t obey him, slipping off the bark uselessly, against the weight they could not support.

He was in freefall for terrifying two seconds before he landed on top of something with a startled grunt, and that something lifted him back up.

“Easy. Breathe, Kili.”

The little fairy clung to the branch once again, eyes fixed on the distant ground as he tried to slow down his breathing.

“That’s it. I’m here now. Gonna help you down, little brother,” hands rubbed between his wings soothingly. “We’ll do it together, yeah? Just need you to stop panicking.”

“D-Did you s-see it?! It w-was g-going to eat m-me!”

“It wasn’t. You’re too big for it. It was just being friendly.”

Fili’s arms wrapped slowly around him and Kili instantly felt safer. Fili wouldn’t let him fall.

“Think you can hold on to me, little brother?”

This was a problem.

He wanted to, he really did. But it would mean letting go of the branch. And he really wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

“We’ll do it like that one time I carried you across the stream. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No. But it wasn’t this f-far.”

“I’ve carried you further than this before.”

“A few f-feet above the soft grass.”

“Do you trust me, Kili?”

A nod.

“Enough to let go of that tree and hold onto my neck?”

A pause.

He flung himself at Fili’s ribs, head butting him in the process.

“Ooompf! Hey, easy there, little warrior. I’ve got you. Come on, just move higher, so you can hold onto my neck.”

“Don’t move! Please don’t move like that!”

“It was you who landed on top of me!” The little exchange distracted Kili enough to allow his brother to grasp his elbow and move his arm higher. “Besides. You fell off once and I caught you. I’ll always catch you.”

Kili whimpered, arms closing around the back of Fili’s neck in a death grip. “Please don’t let me fall!” Came a voice much more high pitched than Kili would have liked.

“No. I won’t.”

It was better now – Fili’s familiar strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him flush to his chest.

“You okay there, little buddy? Just like over the stream, remember?”

Kili nodded urgently, wrapping his legs around Fili’s waist as well.

“Don’t look. Close your eyes. I’ve got you, Kili.”

Kili buried his face in Fili’s soft hair and squeezed his eyes shut. His temple was kissed softly, before they both tipped over one side and started a gentle glide back down.

The little fairy screamed over the soothing stream of nonsense his brother was whispering into his hair, as he felt himself weightless, but still firmly attached to his brother.

“Shhhh, you’re okay, we’re okay Kili. I won’t let you fall. Not far now.” Fili kept murmuring in his ear.

Fili was right – only moments later Kili felt the good old ground under his feet, gently deposited down.

“Okay?”

Kili could only shake his head as violent sobs raked his chest – in equal measure fear leaving his system and relief flooding it. He wouldn’t let go of Fili, so the older let himself fall back to the crinkling bed of fallen leaves and gently ran his hands over his back, letting him relax on his own terms.

“I swear, Kili – if I have tangles and snot in my hair – Mahal help you, you’ll be brushing it all out once I’ve washed it.” He finally broke the silence.

Kili chose to ignore the remark, despite the tiny, watery smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Of course Fili had snot in his hair.

“How did you find me?”

Fili shrugged. “I don’t know. I just flew around until I spotted you on that branch, perched up like a scaredy squirrel.”

“I was trying not to die!” Kili protested vehemently, his thoughts turning towards home. “Amad is going to be fuming,” he mumbled, avoiding Fili’s gaze.

Fili scratched his head and pondered. “We could dial it down to ‘cross’, if we tell her you fell into a pond and had to walk back. She will fret and then she’ll send you to bed.”

“Fili?”

“Mmm?”

“You’re _the best_ older brother in the world!” Kili told him solemnly, dabbing at his nose with the corner of his sleeve.

“Of course I am.” Fili agreed, “but I won’t be for very much longer, if you rock up looking like this. Your face looks like a squashed tomato,” he told Kili, leaning in closer to help wipe the last of the tears.

Kili pulled a face. It was not an attractive look for him.

“And you promise never to tell anyone?”

“I promise not to tell the parents. But I don’t know about ‘anyone’ –“ Fili teased, giving him his brightest smile. “What’s in it for me?”

“I won’t tell them of that one time you ate wild berries and were sick all over Adad’s boots.”

The boots in question had been disposed of discreetly, never to see the daylight again, filled with stones and dropped to the very bottom of the steam by the two partners in crime.

Vali was ever so miffed.

“Deal. My lips are sealed.”

The pact had been sealed by the pinky promise, as good as the secret oaths of the kings of old. Fili pulled him to his feet and helped him pick out any stray needles and leaves from Kili’s clothing.

“Think you can fly home with me now?” he asked carefully.

“No,” Kili decided. “I’m never flying again. Besides, my wings ache. Carry me?”

Fili sighed, as his brother clung to him once more. He would be lying if he said that he minded the little, exhausted ball of warmth in his arms. But he had an older brother image to uphold, so instead he pretended to topple over, groaning dramatically and exclaiming: “Have you put on weight again? You’ve been onto the honey again, haven’t you?!”

Kili giggled, strategically hiding his face in Fili’s hair on the other side of his head and allowing himself to be carried back home.

And just like that, all the horrible terriblenesses had been forgotten.

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


	35. Kingdom or Love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For FiliKiliThorinForever :) For loving those two dorks!

 

Fili blinked sleepily and watched his brother fuss around their new nest.

He felt settled – their nest, although simple and classic in its construction, provided them with everything they might need: waterproof walls, heaps of warm, dry, comfy fluff, a number of thick soft furs for burrowing into and enough pillows that they could probably build an entire Erebor of a fort.

Kili – well, Kili didn’t seem convinced. Right now he was using said pillows to create something of a pit around them, growling softly under his breath as he tried to fit them exactly where he wanted them.

Fili wondered what the point of such a venture might be – he knew Kili to be a messy sleeper with many a favourite pillow mistresses, which would no doubt change position as soon as he woke up again. Currently all the way up to his ears in the finest fluff, lazily combing his fingers through the softness, Fili wasn’t sure that he wanted to be any more tucked in, lest he have a heat stroke.

Instead he wanted his Kili.

He wanted him in his arms where he could keep him steady and safe, where Kili could dream and laugh and be loved. It was the only thing missing from making him feel like he was truly at home, the only thing he needed to happily fall asleep.

“Kili,” he murmured softly, earning himself a distressed look. “You’ve been over the nest at least a dozen times by now. Our parents have been over it several times too, and declared it safe for habitation. We’re going to be just fine.”

“But what if it rains? Or if there is a frost?” his brother huffed, but obediently shuffled a bit closer allowing Fili to take his hand.

“We’re under a conifer. A really thick one. You know this is why we chose this spot.”

“I know, but – What if something happens? What if we oversleep and forget to eat and –“

“Amad will be here the moment we don’t check in to kick our asses and get us back in shape.”

They really did have all possible eventualities covered. If they didn’t, and there was even the slightest chance that something might happen to Kili, Fili wouldn’t have gone ahead with the suggestion that the two of them share a nest.

He felt fingers in his hair and thought that this was true happiness. He let his eyes drift closed and let out a tiny happy rumble, before asking, “C’mon Kili, what’s the problem? You normally love falling asleep for the winter.”

He felt a little kiss pressed to his lips first, before Kili truly settled down where Fili needed him. “You, I think,” he whispered eventually, and it was thoughtful enough that Fili didn’t feel offended.

“So… you like my nest, you just don’t like me in it?” he asked instead, amused.

“The opposite,” Kili sighed and Fili felt himself gathered up into warm, exploring arms. “I like you in it rather a lot. I like you in general so much in fact, that it worries me that you’re depending on me to keep you safe. Me and those… feeble structures here.”

“Oi! I built those _feeble structures_ , thank you very much!” Fili scoffed.

“And I helped you!” Kili protested. “But –“

“You and other such feeble structures have kept me quite safe throughout the winter for many a season before, remember?” Fili added softly, now quite content with his position and deciding to forego, for the time being, the obvious argument that he had managed to keep _himself_ safe all his life so far without an incident.

“That was different,” Kili argued, then fell silent, clearly trying to organise his thoughts. “I was never this… afraid. You are here, with me, and all I can think of is that I wish we had our kingdom back so I could tuck you away in some safe and cozy rock. Uncle Thorin said that the frost was never able to penetrate inside Erebor…”

Fili actually opened his eyes at that to look at Kili. Huge, dark eyes peered back up at him with something like sadness, which should have had no business with his brother. “You know,” he started, then considered how best to describe what he was feeling. “- I worry about you too. I’ve spent my whole life worrying about you, so there’s nothing new there, but –“

Kili offered him an elbow to his ribs for his troubles.

“- But neither of us actually remembers the Valley. Instead I remember you laughing, flying over the field of thistles. I remember streams we have explored together, and that huge old tree that you loved so much about a decade ago. I fell in love with you somewhere in the meadows and under the blue skies and I learned to protect you from the dangers these threatened. Birds of prey, Hobbits, stingy nettles…”

Kili rolled his eyes, but chuckled, and Fili quietly added in his own mind _\- the sadness that attacks you sometimes, the self-doubt and an occasional bout of over-cockiness._

“- So, and this will be a controversial opinion, I’m not sure I feel any need to reclaim this mythical home I never saw. I’d fight for _you_ , I’d fight for every flower you ever looked at, every leaf you plucked and every pebble you thought had an interesting shape, and it doesn’t matter that none of them offer any protection from the frost. Yes, I worry about you too, but you’re already doing the most important thing to protect me: you’re looking after my heart. I’d rather have you in this _feeble structure_ of a nest, faffing about with the pillows, than in any of the grand chambers where you’d probably miss the sun.”

Fili expected a mild dig about his sappy declarations of love, but it seemed Kili was in a contemplative mood instead.

“So between a kingdom or love, you’d pick love?” he asked.

“No,” Fili laughed. “I’d pick love every time, and I simply don’t care about the kingdom. I care about our people and I’d try to find them a home that suits them, if I had the power. ‘People’ and ‘home’ are the things I understand, but if someone said ‘save your One and die or live and be a king’ … well, it’s not really a choice, is it?”

“Point that someone out to me and give me a weapon,” Kili said darkly and pulled Fili tight.

Fili smiled and nuzzled comfortably into one warm shoulder, pleased that Kili was finally settling in.

“Seriously, what kind of a choice is that?” Kili continued, outraged.

“You were the one who started with odd choices,” Fili reminded him.

“Fili?”

“Hm?”

“I’m serious. I will never allow you that choice. And if you are a king one day, I will do my best to help you find the right home for our people and I will love you so your heart doesn’t feel torn in two.”

Fili smiled again. “I know, Kili. This is why I said that you’re already looking after my heart.”

“And Fili?”

“Yes, love?”

“I forbid you from freezing to death in the name of love. You’ve got the right idea, but your execution is totally overly dramatic.”

“Yes, love.” Fili didn’t even try to hide his laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


	36. Love me, love me, love me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn, bad dick jokes and skirting the edges of somnophilia :D

 

Fili was washing.

Kili could see his golden head practically glowing in the sharp spring sun like a beacon, where he perched on one of the rocks, carefully out of any actual water, but within an easy reach of the slow, sparkling current.

He was scrubbing vigorously with a half-coarse pebble, yawning widely from time to time. Fili was fastidious about his appearance and no doubt cherished the freak bout of warm sunny days this early in the year, as an opportunity to clean up properly after a few months of having to do with a bucket of water.

Kili took a moment to roam his eyes over the broad, muscular back, narrowing down to a soft waist (even softer now, after several months of Hobbit diet) which brought him neatly to the perfect, perky arse of his brother.

As if on cue, Fili used a pot to scoop some water and pour it over his back, his wings flapping and spraying droplets, as Fili hissed at the cold. It left the familiar soft brown wings glittering with droplets, shivering and fluttering behind his brother without Fili’s conscious thought. It reminded Kili of a bathing sparrow. The rest of Fili however, reminded him of –

Kili slowly licked his lips and leapt from the branch he was occupying.

In his enthusiasm, he mis-judged his trajectory a little and instead of a gentle press against his brother’s wet back, there was more of a wild flailing of his limbs, a surprised “oomf!” and then they both tumbled into the icy water of the stream.

“What the ever-loving –“ Fili froze, half way into a defensive snarl, with a knife poised in one hand (Kili didn’t even wonder any more about where Fili’s knives could have possibly been retrieved from) and both braids dripping wet and flung less-than-artistically across his face. “Kili…”

“You looked so hot, all wet and glowing,” Kili rapid-fired at him, grinning smugly at having come out on top (like he usually did) and pushing the braids away from Fili’s face so he could lean in and kiss that outraged mouth.

“’Hot’ has got nothing to do with –“ Fili cut himself off, arching up into the enthusiastic snog, knife dropped carelessly into the water with a soft ‘plomp’, so he could wrap his arms around Kili’s back, “ – the current circumstances –“ another, no less urgent kiss, “ – I assure you.”

Kili took his One’s protests very seriously, which was why he ground his hips down sinuously, to rub his -

They both automatically looked down Kili’s body to where the rubbing should be occurring.

Fili’s smile was a slow and familiar tease. “Don’t worry brother. I’m sure we’ll be able to find your dick once again, if we search for it properly. It might even poke its little head out, with enough encouragement.”

“Shut up, you’re no better off!” Kili snapped, annoyed mostly at the seasons, for it not being the hot and wonderful summer yet.

It was however, both true and tragic, and Fili was quickly turning an alarming shade of blue, so Kili hauled them both up, watching hungrily as Fili bent over to retrieve his dagger.

“Perhaps we should take it… indoors,” his One suggested, still unnecessarily smug and sexy, as he tied off a towel around his waist and made the blade vanish into thin air.

Kili wondered briefly where it had gone, but then he caught the blue eyes full of mischief, which made him stop wondering and take off into a hormone-fuelled flight.

 

\---

 

Kili practically moaned when his freezing feet sunk inch-deep into the soft, warm fluff of their nest, something that wasn’t lost on his landing brother, whose head snapped up at the sound.

They tumbled into it, barely flicking the entry flap closed, rolled around for a moment and laughed when this or that pillow went flying.

“You shouldn’t initiate something you can’t finish,” Fili warned, but it was clear by the size of his blown pupils and how low his voice had dropped, that he had indeed every intention of finishing. A gentle hand cradling his cheek stopped Kili’s squirming and expressive eyes searched his face. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” Kili breathed, before leaning down for a slower, more charged kiss. They breathed together for a moment, forehead to forehead, cherishing the calm before the storm. “How bad is it?” Kili asked, trying to work out the particulars, while he still _could_ think.

“Pretty bad,” Fili admitted, his dimples peeking through his beard, “but not bad enough for me to pass on a chance to shaft you nice and deep, love of my life.”

Kili gasped, Fili bucked his hips and suddenly the younger fairy was on top. “You want it, you can do all the hard work then,” Fili drawled out, stretching his arms above his head lazily, in a way that made Kili grind down into the hips he found under his arse.

“Fili!” Kili hissed, feeling a hot, hard length already swelling beneath him, prodding him just behind his balls.

“Yes, brother mine?”

“This is _not_ how this works! Not now! It takes two sleepy fairies to have two orgasms and you know it full well!”

They have tried to get each other off before, for a few weeks now in fact. Biology and its urges were something the fairies took very seriously, especially in a thoroughly sexual relationship Fili and Kili enjoyed. It was spring, and spring meant the need to mate, to satisfy each other in every respect and whatever it took, after long months of idle inactivity.

In a word, fairies wanted to _bone_.

They had already managed a few excellent, sleepy hand-jobs, one almost-succesful blow job, and there was that one time when Kili was almost ready to slip into Fili’s hot and pliant body… but fell asleep (Fili was not letting him live that one down in a hurry).

But this time was going to be different. This time Kili was going to get what he wanted.

“Oh, sorry. Did you want a hand there?” his smug ass of a brother asked.

“Not a hand.”

“Mmmm…” Fili’s eyes dropped to his chest and in direct opposition to what he was saying, Fili’s hands moved to roam leisurely all over it, his fingertips teasing Kili’s nipples every now and then. “You like it hands-free, don’t you?”

“Y-yes,” he could feel himself growing hard, channelling some of that burning heat in his gut into soft, breathy pants.

“You think you can?” Blue eyes moved back to his face and the question was only half-tease. There was nothing worse than getting all worked up, only to discover you needed something else.

“I can. Now get on with it!”

“What _do_ you want then?”

“Your fingers. In me.”

Fili laughed and tugged Kili down, but surprisingly instead of kissing him, Fili went after his neck. “Pass me the slick then,” he murmured against the skin just made wet with his tongue.

That took a moment of less-than-elegant fumbling around the edges of their nest, where they stashed several little clay pots of the stuff back in the autumn, made even more difficult when Fili - never one to miss an opportunity – grabbed at Kili’s ass and squeezed it appreciatively. A few colourful curses and a delighted _giggle_ later, one little jar was tossed at the blond, but that too didn’t get Kili what he wanted. Feeling the need to avenge himself, he grabbed at Fili’s cock and started stripping it rhythmically, making Fili arch up and completely forget what he was doing.

“I need you,” Kili moaned finally, torn between causing more of those aborted little thrusts and getting those thick and calloused fingers inside him. “I need you in me.”

“Hnnnn? Alright, yes. Fuck. You –“

Kili kissed away the protests, pleased when he stole what little air Fili had left.

“In here?” Fili mumured when one slick digit circled Kili’s entrance, once again unnervingly coherent.

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes, aaaah –“

Fili gave a gentle push, but only just enough to breach him. It felt like it was sinking inside him, deeper and deeper, distracting him from the slight burn of the intrusion.

“Mahal, you’re so tight, Kili.”

Kili moaned his agreement. They loved exploring their bodies after the winter; loved testing their boundaries anew, trying out new things or the ones they didn’t enjoy very often, re-learning what made them grunt in delighted pleasure and press back, loved watching each other as they took and gave each other over and over again.

“Okay?” Kili felt a soft little kiss to his cheek as Fili’s fingers stroke through his hair.

“I’m good. Move,” he demanded.

Fili smiled, tilted his mouth so they could kiss properly and obeyed.

Kili rocked into the movement of the digit slipping in and out of him. They breathed as one, in between tongues licking into mouths, little pleased noises and eyes searching for pleasure in each other’s faces.

“You’re so hot inside Kili,” Fili murmured, his other hand returning to tease one nipple into a stiff pebble. “Can’t wait to sink back into you, to make you mine again. You’ll feel so good stretched around my cock.”

“I’m always yours. Only yours,” he hissed, causing Fili to lose his rhythm and moan right in his ear.

There was an urgent movement, little aborted half-words, half-kisses, and then two dripping digits pressed into him, making him spread his legs wider and his wing flutter uncontrollably.

“Love?” Fili’s free hand moved instantly into the fluff on his back and soothed his wings, effortlessly rubbing at the spots that made the muscles in his back relax. He wouldn’t move until Kili told him to.

“Oh Fili… Fili, please…” Kili rocked back experimentally, trying to find the best angle and bear down against the girth inside him.

“You look gorgeous, Kee. So good, so beautiful,” Fili was whispering encouragements into his hair, even as his fingers slowly started to rock up deeper into his arse. “Focus on the movement, I know you like feeling me move down there.”

Kili felt Fili’s own cock, rock hard and leaking precome thrust weakly against the underside of his thigh and that made him moan just as much as the feeling of those deft fingers, flickering teasingly against his prostate.

“You’ll need three today, Kili. Think you can take three?” Fili asked and grinned when it made Kili sit back on his fingers, taking them all the way to the knuckles.

In truth they’d both need three for the first week or two, until their bodies grew familiar with each other once more and that in its own right was setting Kili’s blood on fire.

“Oh Mahal, yessss,” he hissed through the esses, feeling himself loosening up when Fili scissored his fingers. It was such an intimate gesture between the two of them that along with desire, Kili coasted on a swell of hot, reckless love for his brother. “More, Fili, come on, feels so g-good!”

“Shhhh… a bit more, or it will still feel too much for you. Think you can relax for me? Your wings are going again.”

Kili did his best, but it was difficult to let go with the way Fili was winding him tightly up. He distracted himself running his fingers through the thick golden trail down Fili’s chest, taking detours to tease both his nipples with his fingers and tongue.

That finally seemed to do to the trick and after a brief but loudly protested moment of unpleasant emptiness, Fili’s fingers were back at his entrance, freshly coated once more.

“Now don’t –“ Fili warned, one hand firmly on the swell of Kili’s arse.

“I won’t,” Kili snapped, well familiar with Fili’s need for control when it really mattered. “But for gods’ sake, if you don’t get on with it, you’ll be snoring by the time you decide I’m ready!”

Fili’s eyes narrowed and Kili realised (slightly too late) that was the wrong thing to bring up. “Unlike you, _I_ know how to pace myself, so we can both have a good time.” Fili’s voice was gorgeously low and a little bit dangerous, his fingers were right at the point where the challenge of the penetration was the most intense and Kili threw his head back, keening shamelessly deep in his throat.

The stretch was definitely there, but stayed well on the right side of ‘too much’. Fili took his time, allowing the smooth, slick slide to happen at the pace dictated by nothing but Kili’s own body. Kili breathed and relaxed into the sensation, cherishing it for what it was – an act of selflessness, uninhibited love, which would take care of him, even if Kili would rather it didn’t.

“Perfect,” Fili breathed, moving his free hand to run through the wiry, black hair from his navel all the way up to his chest.

Kili looked down, heavy-lidded and drunk on pleasure and love for this amazing creature stretched below him. He reached to stroke himself slowly, in rhythm with the pressure slowly undulating inside him, only to have his hand slapped away.

“No. You wanted it hands-free, you’re coming on my cock today, Kili,” Fili said with the same authoritative tone as before, causing Kili to grind his hips down in search of friction he couldn’t get elsewhere. “It will be so good,” he sounded softer now, or _felt_ softer, Kili couldn’t tell anymore, because Fili’s hand moved to capture Kili’s fluttering wings and tugged on them gently, encouraging those slow, rolling movements that had Kili opening himself up on Fili’s fingers.

“Nnnnnnn…”

“You’re doing so well, baby. That’s it. Just a little bit more and you can have me, all of me, so deep in you.”

“Fili –“ Kili whined, because even if he craved what Fili was promising him, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t complain about not being perfectly seen to.

“So demanding,” Fili laughed, ( _laughed_ , the arrogant idiot!), but at the same time tilted one finger and rubbed hard against Kili’s prostate.

Kili almost flew off.

“No, stop it, you’ll ruin it!!” Kili grabbed his other hand and pinned it to the bed, as if he somehow could control the one still inside him this way.

“Sorry,” Fili chuckled in a voice that suggested that he wasn’t sorry at all.

“Fuck me,” Kili wasted no more time, feeling heavy-lidded already with the hazy pleasure coursing through his veins, and helped himself get the message across by grabbing Fili’s cock and canting it so it would slip in as soon as Fili’s fingers left him.

Fili couldn’t deny him any longer, not with the way he was pinned down by Kili’s hand and Kili’s glare. It was a little power-play between them, one that Kili knew was guaranteed to get him what he wanted.

“You’re still so tight. If it hurts –“

“I’ll stop. You’d hate yourself if I didn’t, and I can’t stand for that. Now make love to me Fili. Please, I just need you…”

Fili’s fingers slipped out slowly and his length slipped seamlessly in their place all the way to the hilt, making both of them freeze and Fili grab for the covers around him. It was sacred, this moment, when Fili pushed and Kili took and both of them held each other so tight, captivated to the exclusion of everything else.

“Fuck!” Fili panted, and _now_ he sounded like Kili wanted to hear him sound.

“That’s the general idea, brother,” Kili chuckled, and even those little tremors sent his insides throbbing. “But not yet. Just –“

“Too much?” Fili’s finger gently traced his stretched rim and his eyes snapped back to Kili’s face at the heated grunt this has caused.

“Stop overthinking. In fact, stop thinking at all. It feels amazing – you finally deep inside my body,” Kili sighed, wiggling a little for the best angle, pleased with himself. “I can feel your heartbeat –“ he added more quietly, and this was true, twined so tightly together, so intimate in this moment, even if Kili couldn’t tell if it was the pulse of Fili’s cock in his arse, the urgent rhythm in Fili’s chest under his hands, or simply the familiar flutter dancing with his own always.

“Missed this,” Fili whispered, “so much.”

“Yeah…”

They kissed, slow and full of love, slowly slipping into impatience. And then they moved as one, didn’t have to share any more words, just slid against each other and let themselves feel.

It was slick, slow, and with that sharp edge of novelty and challenge they only managed in early spring. Kili focused on the drag and fullness, and fumbled for the best angle until he felt the head of Fili’s cock slide over his pleasure core on every thrust.

Fili had been right: Kili loved feeling well-fucked, saw it as an aim in its own right, and contrary to the popular belief, could take his time to revel in it before he chased his completion. Also contrary to the popular belief, Fili loved Kili’s selfish side and indulged him as much as possible, always more satisfied and ruined by Kili’s pleasure than just his own.

“Just on my cock, Kili. You’ll need to work for it if you want to come, but you wanted this, wanted to feel me and come just from that. Move, Kili.”

“Yes, talk to me,” Kili demanded, but move he did, moaning at the almost-too-much of an impact deep inside his body.

“You’re right on the edge of what you can take for now, I can see it. You feel so good Kili, so hot and wet inside, I could have you bounce on my cock like that all summer. Love it when you fuck yourself so thoroughly, letting me ruin you anew. Love it when you take what you want…”

It was devastatingly good. Fili’s words were making Kili feel overheated and wild, chasing his building pleasure with ever harder thrusts, like strikes of a heavy hammer against the anvil right at his core, igniting brilliant, white hot sparks.

“Uh, Fili… so close, so full, I want you – Want you so much…” he was blabbling and he didn’t care, just drove himself right into a frenzy, gave himself over to the hard, long thrusts that actually made him tremble. “Fili… Fee, I need you – Want to feel you come in me, fuck me – ah, fuck, make me come –“

It was the lack of response that finally made Kili open his eyes and look down.

Fili had a blissed out expression on his face, eyes half-closed and was clearly drifting away fast into half-dream, half-fantasy. Kili felt exhausted himself, but where adrenaline drove him on, the heady pleasure dragged Fili down, down, deep into the soothing sleep.

“No, you don’t!” Kili snarled and clenched hard around his One’s length, driving his fingers into his hair and tugging on it with all the urgency that he wasn’t getting addressed.

Fili’s eyes flew wide open, his hands automatically finding Kili’s hips and yanking them down into a very awake thrust of his cock.

Kili screamed wordlessly and found that he couldn’t stop clenching, not now, when he started and was almost at the point of that perfect, debauched oblivion.

“Kili!” Again and again, as if Fili couldn’t stop and he probably _couldn’t_ , not with the way his blue eyes were wild and awed and he was throwing all his strength into fucking Kili right into next week.

Kili’s completion hit him hard when Fili held him ruthlessly in place and ground up urgently the last couple of times as he spilled deep inside him. The throbbing in his ass turned into pulsing of his cock, splattering all over Fili’s heaving chest, making him want to lean down and lick it off him.

But he couldn’t, in fact couldn’t do anything at all, other than collapse right into the whole glorious mess on top of Fili, hiccupping and gasping weakly at the aftershocks and involuntary little twitches that still raked his body.

Fili understood and held him tight through it all, whispering soft little endearments into his hair when Kili couldn’t even remember the words yet. He kissed, he nuzzled, he prodded to at least make sure he could slip out of Kili before it was too late.

He loved Kili, with all of himself, despite how much it cost him to stay awake even that little moment longer and Kili took that too, nuzzled where he could, sighed and huffed when Fili said “I thought for a moment that you were a beautiful, incredibly filthy wet dream.”

“Glad to report that you enjoyed me all the same…” he muttered, eyes slipping closed, body shivering from the sweat cooling on his skin. “Mr. ‘I know how to pace myself’,” he snorted and felt a smile tug at his lips, when the brotherly part of his brain figured out that they were more or less even now.

“I would always enjoy you, love of my life. I do love you, you know…” Fili sighed and Kili could tell that he had his eyes closed too, by the way he kept tugging at the soft squirrel fur ineffectively to cover Kili’s back, when one corner of it was tangled hopelessly around Kili’s left ankle.

He should feel annoyed, but instead Kili felt only a soft swell of affection and deep unconditional love for his ridiculous One. “Love you too,” he muttered to the sound of familiar, heavy snores.

 

\---


	37. A Brief History of Cuddles

 

Kili’s favourite place in the whole wide world, if anyone ever cared to ask him, was inside Fili’s arms.

Specifically, ever since he grew to be taller than his brother, the spot where his cheek could rest nudged against Fili’s neck, arms wrapped tight over his shoulders, chest pressed against steady heartbeat so much like his own, and wrapped in strong arms.

It started when they were little, in those very first days when he didn’t know words yet, but already wanted things that were warm and comfortable, in particular this creature for whom he had no name yet, except that they were _his_.

Then came the days when things got defined a bit more, got names, got organised in his head. He remembers being tucked in, excited whispers of a child right into his ear, and the smell that meant safety even when the lightning struck and the little arms squeezed him almost painfully. But he was in his favourite spot and he could feel the quiet determination radiating from his brother, so it was all surely going to be okay.

There were adventures, curiosity, sometimes fear, sometimes laughter, playful banter and always, unquestionable, a helping hand from his brother when he needed it. It was one of the key things that defined them - hundreds, thousands of times when they fell into each other’s arms and held on. They held each other when they were in danger, when they were happy and free, when they were cold and tired and when they were planning their next bout of mischief. Slowly, Kili’s world was shifting and arranging itself into a shape that Kili liked, that Kili _chose_ , but the strong pair of arms around him remained constant.

Some things are so familiar that they are not recognised as distinct until something about them changes. Always there, sort of taken for granted, although not intentionally, and so much a part of you that when removed feels like a fragment of soul has been lost.

There was a time when staying inside Fili’s arms was both too much and not enough. Fili seemed similarly afflicted and it was driving Kili up the wall, especially as his brother seemed oblivious of this annoying thing he was doing. Kili persevered, perhaps with a bit more grumbling than usual, arranging Fili’s errant limbs to hold him tighter, closer, and felt his heart freeze when for the first time he felt hesitation.

This was where Kili belonged! Fili’s embrace had all the best things: a strong shoulder to rest his head on (and if Kili was lucky, it was covered in a soft and supple squirrel fur), one lovely, big, rounded ear (Fili always did have _great_ ears), a faint scratch of a stubble against his temple (perfect for rubbing if he had an itch), and a length of lush, soft, sun-kissed hair.

He didn’t understand that hesitation until the moment he saw the dark blue eyes looking straight at him as the fires reflected in them and a raging conflict which _hurt_ the soul it occupied.

 _Oh_ , Kili thought, and then, _no, no, no, no, no, no!_

That night Kili got his favourite spot back, enhanced by the barely-there content little noises, the smell of sweat and heat and a crystal-clear understanding of how precious the thing he had in his arms was. It finally sunk in: it was _Fili’s_ embrace, it included his brother and it was as much _his_ spot as it was Kili’s. That night Kili tucked himself under Fili’s chin and focussed on giving back some of that reassurance to the fairy that held his heart.

After that it was relatively easy: they knew how, had decades of practice, but now an element of deliberate choice crept in and whispered in their ear to run their fingers over the warm skin, to dig deeper into the spots in the fluff that would cause a reaction, to revel and luxuriate and cherish.

Kili made it his business to stay an expert at falling into Fili’s arms: he knew by heart where all the arms and legs went, knew how to comb his fingers into the golden strands to make it good for Fili, knew where to nuzzle his nose to catch the best of the smell, knew where his lips were best positioned to ghost over that steady thrum of life.

He loved and was being loved and it was adding a whole new dimension to the simplest of things.

Staying in Fili’s arms evolved but also stayed exactly the same – it could be as innocent as all those times when they were children or so loaded with sexual innuendo that it was broken almost immediately by scrambling hands and sucking lips.

It didn’t matter; all that mattered was that it was full of strength and it was theirs.

Kili’s lazy thoughts finally settled down, descending from cloud number nine where they’d been hovering for a while.

He felt like his knees were about to buckle after all the things Fili did to him moments earlier, felt light-headed, despite the reassuring rough texture of a tree against which he’d been pressed. It felt only fair to let his brother support his weight for a little while, to curl up and pull him closer with a little flare of possessive, yet content instinct.

“You alright there, little brother?” asked the familiar voice by his ear (sounding a bit hoarse, Kili noted, silently congratulating himself), coupled with a careful but curious tilt of the golden head and something that may or may not have been more than an unintentional brush of his lips.

Kili didn’t answer immediately, instead letting the words wash over him, taking in Fili’s quiet concern, his strength, the mischief of his wet fingers smearing come along his ribs, but not as far as into his fluff.

“We should lie down,” he announced and, _I want to stay like this for a while, maybe fall asleep with my soul full of you_ , he didn’t add, didn’t have to.

He felt a chuckle against his skin and it made him shiver, but Fili managed to lower them to the soft moss without too much disruption to Kili’s cuddling arrangements.

“I didn’t think I’d worn you out this much,” hands stroking along his spine, half amused and a tiny bit concerned, but not pressing, giving him space to talk or stay silent if he liked.

“You didn’t,” Kili assured, luxuriating in gentle attention, “but I wanted to give you a chance to catch your breath. We haven’t done it twice in a row yet this year, and I thought we should give it a go,” he trailed off in what he hoped was a seductive manner.

The fingers paused, which meant that Kili had Fili’s full attention now. “As in without pulling out?”

“As in me, inside you, twice in a row. Without pulling out,” Kili agreed, a grin spreading on his face. “Driving you ever higher, oh so slowly.”

“Promises, promises…” Fili rumbled, but it was clear that he was more than comfortable with the idea. “You’ll need a nice long nap in the sun if you want to be up for it,” he chuckled, making himself more comfortable, because they both knew that if they got it right, it would be totally worth it.

“Oh, I’ll be up for it, alright. I think you’ll find it’s you who’ll need your nap,” Kili bantered back, but spoiled the effect slightly by snuggling up to his brother all the same.

They shifted and pushed against each other like they always did, but it didn’t take long before the two fairies were nodding off, eased into sleep by the sated desire and love coursing through their veins.

 

\---


	38. Something Lost, Something Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the FiKi Week 2017, day 3: inspired by canon.

 

 

It wasn’t true that fairies disliked swimming.

That they couldn’t swim _very far_ was another matter altogether; their soaked wings weighing them down and making movements in the water awkward. It was also why fairies generally preferred to bathe in pools where they could feel the reassuring bottom under their feet.

On short distances however, fairies were excellent swimmers. Natural sprinters almost, one could say.

Fili, who just that particular day was of the opinion that summer – yes; physical effort – no, yawned and blinked slowly at the sun glittering on the surface of the pool. It was brilliant and luxurious in how the rays caressed his loosely folded wings, making him lazy and content. He toyed briefly with the end of the string which they used to attach their bark raft to the bank against the slow current of the stream, and considered where his Kili might be flying.

A loud, alarmingly _wet_ splash just to his right gave Fili his answer.

He responded loudly and in a language completely unsuitable for a prince and a heir to the throne at that, and grabbed onto the edges of their makeshift raft to stabilise it again and stop it capsizing –

\- which it did anyway.

He re-surfaced spluttering indignantly only to be greeted by Kili’s unbearably smug face on the other side of the raft. “Heathen,” he huffed, unconsciously licking droplets of water off his braided moustache.

They eyed each other for a moment and then as if by unspoken command both fairies tried to haul themselves onto the raft simultaneously. The synchronisation was important for keeping the raft evenly balanced, but it was also an age-old game between them, in which both parties knew each other’s moves inside out.

Kili was marginally faster, but Fili was stronger and just as he was yelling a triumphant “AHA!” Fili found himself close enough to give his hip a rather unceremonious shove, watching with some degree of satisfaction as Kili swayed, tried to balance with his wings but failed, and fell, face first, flat against the water surface.

“Try that one again in another fifty years or so,” Fili told the flailing shape under water, because they may have been lovers, each other’s Ones, and ready to give up their lives for each other, but Fili and Kili would never stop being first and foremost _brothers_.

Of course rapidly losing one occupant of the raft did mean that Fili was back to trying to stabilise it all by himself, but this time he fluttered up into the air for a moment, allowing the bark to settle back on the surface naturally, before gracefully landing in the middle.

Now he could resume the tedious chore of drying and sunning his wings.

He eyed the water surface, noting that Kili hadn’t come up for air yet and considered what new mischief his brother might have been concocting.

But then, rather oddly, a hand appeared over the edge of the raft, holding what appeared to be a sizeable golden band.

Fili watched curiously as the rest of Kili followed and his brother planted his elbows on top of the raft. “I found something,” he announced with what could only be described as a fair degree of smugness.

“Looks rather like a ring. For one of them Big Folk,” Fili observed, cautiously shifting to sit back on his hunches and offer Kili a hand. “You want up?”

Kili nodded, shoved the ring away to make space for himself and after a moment of careful balancing he was sitting cross-legged on top of the raft as well.

They both stared at Kili’s find.

“It was at the very bottom, covered by some leaves and pebbles,” Fili’s brother explained. “I think I uncovered it when I jumped in, then spotted the faint glimmer of metal. I wonder who might have lost it here?”

The pool was secluded, which was the very reason why the two fairies chose it as the perfect spot for cooling down during an unusually hot summer. The stream was only tiny, but where the water cascaded off a boulder in a small, but beautiful waterfall, it managed to work down a sizeable pond in the forest floor below.

In a typical fairy fashion, Fili and Kili decided to improve on nature and added a net across the far end of the pool that would stop them being carried downstream as they were swimming, a rope ladder along the side of the boulder for easy access to the light breeze it offered, and a knotted rope tied to one of the branches above for climbing and jumping in at the deepest point.

The stream continued on as a lazy trickle of flickering weirs, and the thick forest vegetation ensured that the little pool remained completely hidden from all angles, except above, where the fairies carefully twisted, tied and downright cajoled some of the branches aside to create the perfect sunny patch.

Fili scratched his beard. “Metal almost doesn’t degrade in nature. Perhaps it’s been sitting down there for centuries, while the landscape around it changed? Perhaps there was a path to the stream once, or maybe the currents have carried it here from somewhere far upstream?”

“You think it’s a ring for a hobbit?” Kili toyed with his find, spinning it on its axis, watching it turn into a golden blur. “Or for a man? Perhaps even one of those super-tall, Big Elves?”

“I couldn’t tell you,” Fili squinted at the glare of gold in the sun and caught it mid-spin to set it back down. “Not without measuring Master Baggins’ fingers, anyway. But then again, I don’t recall him ever wearing any jewellery,” he considered, “which makes it even more odd.”

“I wonder who lost it. And how old it is. Who made it, where and when and why?”

“What makes you think that it has been lost? Maybe it has been thrown away,” Fili found himself saying.

“Why would you go to the trouble of making it and then throw it away?”

Fili pondered this, feeling the strange pull when it came to the glittering object. He wasn’t sure he liked it; he was used to obeying his instincts, but they were usually related to Kili and not some strange pieces of jewellery lurking in forest ponds. The thought that someone might have tried to get rid of it was simply the first one to come to his mind.

He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know, but it looks rather… plain, don’t you think? No ornaments or any kind, not even the simple geometric design. Remember when we were learning the art of bead-forging? We discarded dozens of less-than-perfect blanks.”

“Hmmm, I suppose that’s possible,” Kili agreed. “Or maybe it’s not a ring at all? Maybe it’s a crown?” he tried squeezing it on top of his head, but the band was too small to fit properly and instead slid precariously to one side. “Thorin said that elf fairies have some pretty weird crowns…”

“Look at it. It doesn’t look to be elven in design,” Fili countered, watching as Kili removed it from his head and slipped it around his wrist, to spin it around like an oversized bracelet –

\- which made him vanish.

 _Now_ the instincts screamed at Fili.

He didn’t think twice when he launched himself at the spot where Kili was only a heartbeat ago, and thankfully barrelled into the solid weight of his brother nearly toppling him off the raft in the process. He blinked and suddenly the world was all blurry and somehow distant, with Kili’s voice sounding distorted.

 _”What was that for!?”_ the younger demanded, looking startled, but altogether visible now.

Fili stared down at where both their hands were threaded through the ring, holding onto each other in a death grip. _”Huh. So I guess that’s what it does.”_

 _”It gives you an inexplicable need to grab at my arm?”_ Kili was confused.

_”No, idiot. It made you disappear and it made the world go all funny.”_

_”What do you mean? I disappeared from the raft?”_

_”You totally did. But you also sort of didn’t? I mean, we are still on the raft. Sort of.”_ Fili was finding it difficult to explain. He looked Kili in the eye. _”I don’t like it.”_

They pulled their hands out of the ring and re-appeared in synch, completely startling a sparrow, which was just about preparing to land on their little raft. The odd band of gold clattered to the bottom of the raft between them.

“You okay?” they asked at the same time.

“You’re right, it gives me the heebie-jeebies,” Kili admitted first, shuddering.

“Me too,” Fili agreed, uneasy, but mostly concerned with what to do with the damned thing so no one else, especially not Kili, stumbled upon it ever again.

“You know, we could re-forge it into one of those metal paying discs Master Bilbo likes using,” Kili suggested. “If it doesn’t have a hole, then it can’t vanish anyone, right?”

“Coin,” Fili automatically supplied the foreign word they have recently learned. “I don’t know. Remember the last time we tried it and he got all flustered about it? I think Hobbits don’t like folk forging their own.”

Kili huffed, remembering the whole kerfuffle. “I remember. Ours was better too. Much more intricate design.”

“It was,” Fili agreed. “But I guess it makes sense. One day Master Bilbo starts forging his own coins, next day few others have the same idea and within a month you can’t get a decent order of daggers in. They need to ensure forge availability somehow, so they made them once upon a time and now they just swap them around.”

Kili nodded slowly acquiescing the point. “Alright, maybe we could re-forge it into something else? Maybe a nice hair-ornament or –“

“Yes, and make Amad disappear because the strands of her hair slipped through the teeth of the comb –“

As the fairies discussed and rejected various more or less ambitious options, the One Ring between them practically vibrated with the need to claim and possess. It sensed Power over nature and over other lives, it foresaw how these almost invisible agents could carry it to its true master, how it could bend those feeble creatures to its will. It could practically taste the sweet betrayal as one brother murdered the other to claim his prize –

The fairies were discussing the merits of turning it into a plate.

It couldn’t tell if they were immune to the sweet whispers of corruption or if they heard them and simply weren’t interested.

No matter. They would succumb eventually, like they all did, so the Ring continued its quiet whispers. It spoke to the older of the power to enslave his brother to his will, to rule his people through blind obedience, to conquer the whole world, and to make other races tremble before them. It whispered to the younger about coming out of the shadow of his brother, about taking his place and having all recognise his position and terrible power -

“I’m just saying that at least the ore that the miners bring to the surface has never vanished anyone.”

“This is true. I just don’t get it. Why would you make an ornament which makes you disappear so you can’t see it anyway?” Kili gave the ring his most formidable confused frown.

Fili shrugged. “Other races are weird,” he offered philosophically.

“Toss it?” Kili asked, now bored with the nonsensical object.

“Toss it,” Fili agreed. “Nice and far, so it doesn’t attract any magpies to our pond.”

In one last ditch attempt at keeping its potential future slaves, the One Ring decided to reveal its true nature. It pushed with all its dark power, clawing at the two souls around it, twisting them against each other and singing its sinister song for all to hear.

The two fairies stared as elegant, slanted writing appeared along the outside of the band in a glowing display for no readily available reason whatsoever.

“See?! I _told_ you it was elven!!” Kili screeched.

“Well that certainly explains the heebie-jeebies. TOSS IT, KILI, TOSS IT, BEFORE IT TRIES TO MAKE YOU DISAPPEAR AGAIN!”

As the One Ring sailed through the air, to once again drop heavily into the turbulent waters of the stream, where the strong currents carried it further and further away, it sensed some sort of a change in the world. There was something in it that it couldn’t control, couldn’t even influence. Something much more powerful than Wizards and Dark Lords.

“Eeeeeew, I touched it Fili, I touched it!!” sounded the distant wails.

“Here, let me kiss it better.”

But the Ring didn’t dwell, instead already searching for its next victim, always seeking an opportunity –

Which this time round turned out to be a rather long time coming.

 

\---


	39. Festival of the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the FiKi Week 2017, day 1: inspired by nature.

 

 

June and July found fairies in a flurry of activity.

Not only was it time to bring the first of the harvest in and last moment to encourage that last extra bit of growth to improve its quality, but also the time of the Festival was fast approaching.

The Festival of Sun, also known as The Summer Festival, was the equivalent to The Festival of Light, which fairies celebrated late in the autumn and in many ways the two were polar opposites. Where Festival of Light celebrated all things that have come to pass already, Festival of Sun revelled in all things yet to arrive; in vitality, life and joy.

The culmination of the celebration was going to be an evening feast, with fresh produce aplenty, spiced meats and ale, laughter, chatter and river racing, most of it in a more of less inebriated state.

But it was what was going to take place before the feast that really got fairies excited:

A Stone Stacking Competition.

In a time honoured tradition the fairy folk have always stacked stones around riverbeds and mountain trails, in places where a wary, air-borne traveller might take a wrong turn. If spotted, the Big Folk always assumed it was one of their own kind that had left them a little mark to indicate a trail, and in a curious slightly magic-imbued way, since everybody _assumed_ , nobody thought to actually _ask_.

In reality though the Stone Markers were much more than that; always placed in exactly the right place to be easily spotted from above, with stones of exactly the right type, stacked _just so_ in a perfect sequence and position. To the fairies they were as obvious as road signs:

_3 miles this way to the big oak tree, 5 miles that way to the springs and beware the spiders to the North._

Reading and constructing Stone Stacks was one of the first skills that bairns were taught and since it had lots to do with pure instinct and not a lot to do with boring scrolls and information to be memorised, it was an activity universally loved by all.

No wonder then that everyone wanted to be on form for it.

For days now Bilbo has been seeing dwarflings, in their funny little bellflower and foxglove hats (must protect those silly little heads from too much sun during long summer days), bragging to their friends exactly what size bounders they were going to be shifting. There were grown up fairies, unnecessarily shirtless, doing push-ups among his gooseberry bushes, probably combining exercise with patient waiting for the berries to ripen and sweeten somehow through their efforts. There were even those who insisted on hauling carrots out of the ground all by themselves and carrying each massive vegetable, swaying slightly under its weight, into Bilbo’s basket. Fairies were also flying up and down the local stream, picking up pebbles and debating their qualities and mineral content, discussing the strength of the current and what impact it might have on the materials available.

In a word, it was Serious Business.

When the day finally arrived, it was the dwarflings that insisted that Bilbo come to the celebrations.

“But who is going to be the judge, if not Master Bulbo?” insisted one little girl (completely oblivious to the fact that for decades now Thorin was perfectly capable of being the referee in these contests) and her lower lip trembled in the ultimate threat if she didn’t get her way.

“Cheer up, Thorin. For once you’ll be able to take part!” Dwalin pointed out.

Bofur just looked like a puppy who may or may not receive the dinner plate to lick clean.

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded slowly to the cheers of everyone gathered.

In truth, it took some doing to get their oversized swarm member down through the gorge and to the shallow bend in the stream, where tons of rocks were washed up for fairies to enjoy. It didn’t help that Bilbo insisted on carrying a complete picnic set and a net with a whole watermelon in it either. He felt obliged to contribute something to the celebrations, and as the Head Referee, it seemed appropriate for that something to be the main prize.

In the end they managed – fairies guiding and finding gaps through the undergrowth through which a hobbit, a very, very determined and not particularly fussed about the state of his clothes hobbit, might fit.

And then all hell broke loose.

As soon as Bilbo had his blanket spread out and the words “I declare this year’s Festival –“ left his mouth, the air buzzed with dozens of wings fluttering in all possible directions.

“- open,” he finished, hastily retreating to his blanket, which made the air-space above it pretty much empty, since there were no stones to be found just in those couple of square feet.

There were a number of different categories he’d have to judge, Bilbo learned from Bofur, carefully pouring himself a cup of tea from his flask: the tallest stack, the heaviest stack, the stack with most intricate meaning, the stack with most inventive use of stone, singles category, couples category, toddlers, young fairies –

Bilbo sipped his tea and wondered if he’d be impeached on the grounds of partiality, if Bofur was found whispering suggestions in his ear.

 

\---

 

Fili and Kili decided to enter the contest separately this year.

It had been a difficult decision, but a tactical one, after the two of them snuck up on Ori and Dwalin, training in what appeared to be ‘fetch the right rock’ tactic. Ori was flying here, there and everywhere, using a piece of chalk to mark out mysterious symbols on the rocks he wanted, while Dwalin was easily picking even the largest ones and stacking them just so, as if Ori had given him a blueprint upfront.

Not only did they clearly devise a markings system, which nobody else would be able to understand, but also ever since their best friend got together with Dwalin, their old teacher appeared to have lost at least three decades in age.

It was disconcerting to a pair of highly competitive fairies.

They backed away quietly and slowly, like masters of stealth they considered themselves to be, and spent most of that night debating if they could come up with a more ingenious system, and if so, who was to be heavy lifting and who was responsible for the design.

By morning it became clear that although their love for each other was without question, their sense of planning was tainted by the severely lacking qualities of the rest of the Durin line in that respect.

If they couldn’t win together, they decided to win separately and share the prize.

Cheered by this thought, a few afternoons of happy cuddling and a round or two of slow, luxurious sex, a few days later the two of them felt ready to steal the spotlight.

They haven’t counted on their own competitiveness.

For starters, they were so used to thinking along the same lines and complimenting each other’s strengths, that they both wanted exactly the same stones, all the time, every time. Their similarities turned against them.

Their differences didn’t help either, when it became clear that Fili firmly believed in careful organisation of his stack, while Kili thought that even with one or two collapses, more stones meant a taller stack.

Then there was their own natural competitive spirit. Kili started first (although this was hotly debated later), about twenty minutes in, by sneezing right in front of Fili’s stack. The top most two stones wobbled dangerously and slid to one side just enough that when Fili returned with a third one to place on top, the whole thing toppled over.

Fili, of course, wasn’t going to be out-done. About an hour later, he carefully kicked one of the flat pebbles wedged under the rock which Kili chose as his platform. That sabotaged Kili for good forty minutes before he realised that his whole platform was unsteady, causing each subsequent build to fail. Nothing was ever proven, so Fili felt pleased with himself.

Sabotaging _others_ was also taking them much longer, now that they were each a free agent. At one point they nearly bumped heads, having chosen to accidentally on purpose topple over Thorin’s stack mid-flight.

“Kili,” Fili snarled.

“ _I_ was after this one, even had the perfect angle of decent!” Kili hissed in response.

It all used to work much better when they had plans on who was going to be a nuisance where.

They didn’t have the time to argue further because just at that point the sun shone through a natural gap in the high walls of the gorge and a horn sounded to announce that the contest was over.

They glared.

They peered at their own stacks critically –

And stared.

The two stacks, through a botched subversion of others or their own natural structural weaknesses, have slipped slightly off their rocky platforms and toppled to one side, until both stacks came to rest propped against each other, forming a sort of natural bridge, complete with a lovely, flat pebble on top of both.

“And what have you two made then?” asked Master Bilbo, approaching with a flying entourage of watermelon and glory-thirsty fairies.

“We, um –“ Kili started.

“- totally built this spectacular bridge over there,” Fili finished for him, flashing his legendary dimples at anyone who might wish to challenge them.

“Yes, we did. We wanted to create something that symbolises love –“

“- between fairy folk and big folk, and, uh, the bridging between cultural differences and misconceptions –“

“- that allow both to prosper together.”

“That’s that little flat pebble on top,” Fili supplied helpfully.

A collective ‘N’aaaaaaw’ could be heard.

Bilbo, who had a far keener eye than most fairies gave him credit for, seemed to consult his hair for a moment, before he announced, “I hereby declare you the winners in the ‘most imaginative use of stone’ category! Congratulations.”

The two brothers cheered and fell straight into each other’s arms for an enthusiastic, celebratory snog.

 

\---

 

Once the sun had set and fairies provided some serene lighting in the form of fireflies placed in strategic locations, Bilbo realised that the Festival wasn’t unlike Yule:

First came the outside decorations placed around the garden, fences, doors and windows of one’s hobbit hole. These were of course unscrupulously judged and criticised by the whole village and it was a prerogative to out-do one’s neighbour at all cost.

But once that was out of the way, it was time for the Yule tree, time for being together and decorating it with one’s family; time for being happy with one’s loved ones.

Because by now _everyone_ seemed to have erected a stone stack in one form or another. _Now_ fairies worked together, instead of competing, helpfully rolling this or that stone towards their friends, families and partners.

Even Bofur made a token effort, carefully placing three round pebbles in one corner of Bilbo’s blanket – their own little stack.

Feeling merry, Bilbo thought he’d do his part to help - he picked a large flat stone and carefully lifted the other three to place it at the bottom.

Bofur coo’d.

Then frowned.

Then wrinkled his nose.

Then fluttered all around the newly formed stack, considering it from every angle, and looking more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

Bilbo shook his head and replaced his original stone with a different one, then looked for approval.

Bofur tsk’ed.

Bilbo rolled his eyes, reached –

“No, not this one, love of my life.” Bofur finally demanded. “Pick that one, over there,” he instructed, instantly by the rock he wanted.

Bilbo rolled his eyes, but obediently padded over.

“And actually this one here is also lovely. And maybe that pinkish one, what do you think?”

The hobbit couldn’t shake the feeling that if Bofur was big enough to handle the Yule tree, Bilbo would have been fussed and ordered around about that too.

 

\---

 

“The stars are so beautiful,” Kili remarked for the fourth time that evening, having lost the previous three times somewhere in his cups.

He hiccupped, but it still sounded original and ground-breaking to his ears.

Fili, who had a wealth of experience dealing with a tipsy Kili, disregarded him, focussing instead on dispatching the whole sweet cherry he brought over from the main feasting area.

Instead, having torn off another chunk of the sweet, juicy fruit, his eyes focussed on something rather unusual, even on a night like this.

The remnants of the watermelon that Bilbo kindly donated as the prize, appeared to be wearing boots.

Fili squinted, licked the cherry stone and decided to search for some clarity in one of Kili’s cups.

The honey mead was indeed _excellent_ this year.

Licking his moustache, Fili peered once again.

The boots were still there and in fact they appeared somewhat familiar this time round.

He stared at his feet in alarm but found them still snug in his usual light mouse-fur boots.

He stared at Kili’s feet, but they too were covered in familiar leather.

“Kili.”

“I love you, Fee,” his brother told him, hauling himself onto his elbows and staring him meaningfully in the eye, with all the clouded determination he could muster.

“I love you too,” Fili grinned and kissed Kili’s nose, in what felt like a brilliant act of revenge for all those times when his own nose had been smooched. He was originally aiming for Kili’s mouth, but figured this was at least just as good. “Think you can get some of your glowing friends to follow you for a bit?”

“’Course,” Kili scoffed. “They’re my little glow-y babies,” he declared, breaking into a huge grin and hugging the closest two fireflies rather forcefully to his chest.

“They can’t fly like this,” Fili supplied helpfully, staggering to his feet and helping haul Kili upright, so at least he could release the insects.

The familiar-looking-boots kept bugging Fili, so they were going to have to investigate. It just wouldn’t do to have watermelons stealing people’s boots. And once that mystery was solved, he figured Kili needed a few hours’ nap so he’d stop blabbling about the stars.

“They’re so beautiful,” Kili muttered, then moved his eyes to Fili. “You’re so beautiful, Fee,” he insisted with a furious frown which would have put anyone off trying to argue with him.

“Mhm,” Fili agreed. “Come on, let’s see if there’s any of our prize still left so we can take it home for later.”

It turned out there was. In fact, even after the winners have taken their lion share of the watermelon, and the rest of the swarm descended upon it, there was still about a quarter left, which the fairies just couldn’t manage.

It was into that quarter, it appeared, that someone had mined a tunnel, clearly intent on coming out the other side or not coming out at all.

Fili regarded the crudely hacked outer skin, the overall small size of the shaft, which could not have accommodated a grown fairy, then ran a mental list of today’s winners and –

He grabbed one boot. “Come on, Kee, help me pull. We’ve our cousin Gimli to deliver safely home before we can find our own spot for the night.”

Kili blinked, shrugged and pulled.

 

\---


	40. Galloping Ponies - Part 1

_ _

 

 

_Badump – badump – badump – badump -_

“I will always love you, my Little Prince, my brave little warrior, I will always keep you in my heart. I will come back. Wait for me.”

_Badump – badump – badump –_

Fili squished Boniface the Tailless Rag Pony tighter to his chest and rolled to his other side, pulling his toy with him. He wished Boniface would stop galloping so loudly when Fili was trying to sleep.

He didn’t stir when a soft fur was pulled higher over his shoulder and the delicate kisses were pressed to his hair.

“I’ll come back.”

_Badump – badump – badump - badump –_

 

\---

 

The following morning, over a plate of his favourite hot corn cake with maple syrup, Fili learned that he was going to have a brother or sister.

“Amad has gone far, far away,” Adad said, pulling little Fili into his arms, while the boy pulled Boniface into his, “but she will be back when the baby is hatched. She will return before the autumn has settled in for good.”

Fili considered this new piece of information. A new sibling meant a new playmate. It meant that Fili would no longer be so little (by comparison) and that he could introduce them to all the other dwarflings. It would be like having a friend who was allowed to stay overnight every night.

“Okay,” Fili eventually allowed, nodding seriously while his father watched his face with a mixture of worry and pride. He would be brave for Adad, who would surely miss Fili’s mum terribly, would forget to feed their beetles, water her favourite forget-me-nots and feed him anything other than treats.

Fili was practically his only hope of survival.

It was early spring when they ate the corn cakes and spoke of new toys and sharing beds and the summer which followed kept going on and on until it was the longest in Fili’s memory.

 

\---

 

That summer Vali did everything in his power to make his son feel happy, safe and loved.

He loved his boy more than anything in the whole wide world and would never allow Fili to feel somehow abandoned by his mother while she entered her necessary maternity seclusion. Besides, those were also Dis’ orders, and one simply did not cross his wife.

“I don’t want any crying under my leaves, understood? From him, or from you. You’re going to look after my baby, Vali, the most important job in the whole world. And you will be held accountable.” She threatened a fairy who felt about fit to burst with both pride and longing.

So Vali did his best. Without him, Fili wouldn’t eat anything nutritious, would walk around in dirty and torn clothes and would probably get eaten by some predator or the Big Folk.

That summer Vali was his only hope of survival.

When the news broke, he seemed to instantly become the most popular fairy in their little swarm.

“The Line of Durin is truly blessed on this day! May it never end!” Thorin announced far louder than was necessary, patting his shoulder far harder than Vali liked.

“After your first one, it all becomes rather less mysterious than they make it out to be,” Bombur informed him. “Basically don’t let the others starve to death and make sure the nest is ready when she’s back because she will want to sleep for about a million years.”

The ladies were perhaps even more eager to congratulate him and offer their advice. So Vali listened, because Dis told him to look after their son and he believed that somewhere within this avalanche of new information there was something that one day might be crucial to Fili’s well-being:

What to do if Fili’s permanent teeth start growing (all baby teeth still firmly in place).

What to do if Fili becomes rebellious and starts demanding attention (the biggest mutiny in their little household happened when Fili refused to eat beans in tomato sauce for the third day running, which, quite frankly, was understandable).

What to do if Fili grows jealous and becomes difficult (he enjoyed designing toys for the baby, which Vali enjoyed trying to construct for him).

What to do if Fili has trouble sleeping at night (passed out regularly about two hours after sunset, woke up late in the morning).

What to do if Fili has trouble waking up in the morning (honestly the longer his son slept, the longer Vali slept, which was a perfectly agreeable arrangement).

How to get food stains out of fabric and how to stain fabrics as desired (much more interested in knives than colours and there was woefully little advice on mending tablecloths cut to ribbons).

How to wash his stuffed toys without him realising that they are missing (a betrayal too far, Vali thought).

What to do in case of scraped knees, hit to the head, sprains, deep tissue bruises, wing-tearing, sudden blood-loss… (having experienced all of the above in his adolescent life himself, Vali knew the herbs well. Fili, for all his strange fascination with sharp objects, never complained of anything more than an occasional scrape or a bruise.)

And so it went on and on.

Eventually Vali called it quits. Their best chance, it seemed, was to just work it out themselves.

They didn’t change much:

Vali moved to Fili’s favourite moss patch because it saved him coming back to an empty moss patch of his own after he told him his nap time story.

They took their washing to the stream once a week, each carrying their own bag, where some kind fairy usually offered to wash it for them while cooing at how polite and helpful Fili was (Vali learned that that charming little smirk was practically a family heirloom).

They decided on their meals a day in advance, together.

They spent their days hunting for grasshoppers, which Vali helped Fili train to carry simple messages around the area, waddling in streams, looking for pretty pebbles, or collecting and cooking food together.

That last element of their lives suffered a little from Dis’ absence, but luckily there were a few signature dishes that Vali could take pride in and a good selection of the ones that were still perfectly edible. And if Fili was particularly desperate for a change, all he needed to do was tag along with his friends and he was suddenly, temporarily annexed to their family and fed accordingly. Fairies looked after their own.

It was like going back to his own adolescent years, Vali thought with a melancholy smile, watching his son help the tadpoles wiggle free of their eggs and into the water.

He loved the chance to spend more time with Fili and in a way wished he could _always_ justify the carefree adventures they shared together. It was just the perfect moment, when it was still _cool_ to have dad around while playing, while Vali had an absolutely legitimate excuse to re-connect with the little boy he never quite grew out of and introduce him to his son.

As he watched his offspring scrunch up his nose adorably, grab his wooden swords, give a hearty (if a little high-pitched) roar and attack a stump of grass, he thought these were some of the memories he would cherish all his life.

 

\---

 

Fili’s quiet determination lasted about a week and a half (which was a pretty good result – he was reliably informed), before Vali felt his son tugging at his tunic one afternoon.

“I miss Amad,” the huge, pained blue eyes informed him in a quiet whisper and Vali felt like his heart was about to shatter into a million pieces, condemned by the tears in the corners of Fili’s eyes. “What if she doesn’t come back?”

Vali rushed through the mental inventory of old wives’ wisdom but there was no advice on what to do with the ultimate threat of lonely tears.

He knelt before the little fairy and pulled him into his arms. “She will. You’ll see. And then we’ll all sleep together through the winter.”

“Can I –“ there was a loud sniff by Vali’s ear and he stroked the warm little wings soothingly. “Can I write to her?”

What was he supposed to say? That he wasn’t actually sure where Dis would deem safe and secluded enough to have their baby? That he knew of no creature smart enough to follow her scent and carry a message?

No, Vali was a proud and loving father, so instead he said: “Of course you can!”

The little fluff-covered shoulders trembled harder in his arms in response, but after a moment seemed to steady enough to let him hiccup: “Will you – will you t-teach me the letters?”

Vali smiled into the golden hair like his own, shifted his son to sit more securely in his arms and took off towards their home where the rolls of birch bark and charcoal were kept.

 

\---

 

That night Fili curled up next to his father, Boniface the Tailless Rag Pony held tight to his chest with one hand and a squashed roll of birch bark, covered in wonky letters and drawings, in the other.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

If someone asked Fili if he was happy just then, he’d say he was. Grown-ups always had so much to do normally, but now his Adad had all the time in the world for Fili. But he also felt apprehensive and unsettled and couldn’t explain this even to himself.

 

\---

 

Sewing was the hardest thing Fili has ever done in his short life so far.

He scrunched up his nose and stuck the tip of his tongue out – everybody knew it was easier to concentrate like that and Fili needed his concentration.

“You’re doing just fine, little one,” Mrs Bombur assured him, helping him straighten the fabric.

Fili disagreed. The toy in his hands was barely held together, but it was so _hard_ to try and guess where the bone needle in his hands might come out on the other side and he’d stabbed himself in the fingers so many times that there was sure to be blood stains all over the toy.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

Fili bit his lip and stared critically at the partly dis-embowelled creation in his hands.

It was Mrs Bombur who drew out the shape of the pony on the nice, soft fabric and cut it out for him (Fili really couldn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to use scissors himself, when he’d held and used much sharper things before and with some success, if the new patterned curtains were anything to go by). She’d sewn together all 4 of the legs for him as Fili stared in utter fascination as the limbs started taking shape, filled with some fluff, until she’d asked him, “Would you like to give me a hand, Fee?”

Fili did, he really, really did. It was _his toy_ for the baby, and he wasn’t letting someone else make it for him!

Or so he thought back then. By now Fili suspected it was one of those tricks adults sometimes played on dwarflings to try and make them do chores: ‘Would you like to give me a hand peeling the radish, Fili?’ ‘Would you like to help me remove the dead leaves, so new ones can grow?’ ‘How about if I wash the dishes and you dry them, hm?’

But Fili was no fool, and saw right through their clever little tactics.

Usually.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

“He won’t like it if it’s all… weird shape,” Fili sighed dramatically and dropped the toy onto the table.

Mrs Bombur gave him a critical look.

“Fili, sweetheart… You do realise that we don’t know the baby’s gender yet, don’t you? You might be getting a little sister after all.” She picked up the toy and stuck two fingers right into the opening in the pony’s belly and started wriggling them there, which Fili thought was delightfully gruesome.

“No, I’m getting a little brother,” Fili told her distractedly, squirming in his seat, because the pony’s shape was getting more pony-like by the minute.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

“But a little sister would be just as nice, don’t you think? You like playing with girls, it would be just like that.”

Fili considered. “Yes, I’d love to have a little sister. I’d show her all the best rocks and trees and our stream… If she was like mum, I bet she could bake amazing things straight away!” he grinned. “But it’s a boy, and that’s cool too. We can share toys and have adventures together.”

“But you can’t know that for sure, is all I’m saying.”

Fili picked up the now correctly-shaped toy from Mrs Bombur’s hands, lifted the needle again and looked her in the eye. “My brother is a boy,” he simply repeated. He couldn’t understand why the grown-ups had such trouble accepting what Fili already knew. Did they all really, really just want him to have a sister instead?

He shrugged, stuck out the tip of his tongue and stuck the needle through the seam along the underside of pony’s stomach once again.

It wouldn’t do to have Filemon all disembowelled even before his brother got his hands on him.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

 

\---

 

Quite _how_ Fili knew, Vali had no idea.

All he knew was that his bright, kind, mischievous, sometimes downright enigmatic (and completely oblivious of it) offspring _ran away from his playgroup_ to tell him that Mrs Bombur had gone to Amad, and it was time, and they had to go, _right now, or they would miss it!!_

It was only July. Vali carefully counted the weeks in his mind and with some surprise realised that indeed, the time would be just about right. When a grasshopper arrived moments later, carrying a message that Lettie had indeed left to assist Dis in labour Vali could only stare at his son, who was staring right back at him with a mixture of impatience and accusation.

“We’re going to miss it!!” Fili repeated as if _he_ was the adult explaining something obvious as plainly as possible to a child.

“We can’t go,” Vali crouched in front of the dwarfling and decided to clear this up before he took his son back to his classes.

“Why not?! It’s time!!” Fili demanded, little fists pressed tight along his sides and a mixture of petulance and anxiety slipping into his eyes.

“Not quite, Little One –“ he sighed. He supposed his son would learn the truth sooner or later. “It’s not the end. Even though a baby is born, it isn’t ready yet for the world. It wouldn’t survive, it still needs to be cared for and nurtured by nature. Mahal forges our souls and bodies, gives them a spark of life, but it’s his wife, Yavanna that blows that spark into a flame and embraces it into the world of living things. This is also how we all get our Gifts. It won’t be ready for hatching until autumn, probably quite late autumn, judging by when Amad left.”

Fili looked horrified. “But that’s _months_ away yet!!”

“You took nearly three full months before you hatched,” Vali smiled. “Amad said she was worried you’d stay there all winter.”

“But _why_ can’t we be there to help him to be born and then hatch when he’s ready?”

“It’s just… It’s a tradition,” Vali pulled his agitated son into his arms and tried to gently soothe the wings which wouldn’t stop twitching. “Fairies give birth in seclusion. Probably because it’s easier without all the faff and attention of others. It’s also safer that way - a single fairy with her bairn can slip through unnoticed much easier than a swarm. Ladies are fierce warriors, even more so when protecting their child, and Dis has taken half the weaponry we’ve had in the house with her. She will have found a safe spot by now, established her territory, laid traps, stocked up on food and water and did whatever else pregnant fairies do in the months leading up to their resolution. She will be weakened for a few days, but that’s why Lettie has gone out to help her deliver the child and look after both of them during that time. They are best friends and trust each other – they will be just fine.”

Fili sniffed against his neck, which told Vali that he was worried, possibly scared, but he accepted the explanation. Vali ran his fingers through the soft golden hair, like he’d seen Dis do countless times, soothing and patient.

“We’d probably only get in the way,” he chuckled.

“She’s been gone forever,” came a muffled response.

“I know. I miss her too.”

“And he’s scared. I don’t like it.”

Vali, by now used to Fili’s little oddities when it came to the baby nodded seriously. “I imagine being born must be pretty stressful. But you know how Amad and Adad have got this power to make all the bad things go away and protect you? She will look after the baby, soothe it, so it isn’t scared anymore.”

Another sniff.

“Can I let you in on a secret?”

A nod.

“Older brothers have got this superpower too. They can make bad things go away and protect their siblings.”

A pause. “Really?”

“Really.”

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC


	41. Galloping Ponies - Part 2

 

 

Dis opened her arms to a little bundle carefully wrapped up in towels.

Her baby. Her sweet, beloved baby, tucked away safely in a cocoon. It was moving sluggishly, instinctively searching for her warmth and smell. She wrapped her arms around it and kissed the membrane protecting this tiny miracle of life – there were so few fairy babies being born now that they were constantly on the road. These were dangerous times.

She closed her eyes and started humming a little lullaby.

The second time was easier than the first, her body remembering what to do and Dis was done in less than six hours. She was still exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep with her baby. The birthing sack was going to sustain its life for at least another forty eight hours and although there were those fairies who believed that the sooner the Connection was made the better, Dis was of the opinion that the child needed to feel safe first, needed to feel the bond to its mother.

The baby seemed to agree, setting down in the crook of her arm, until all she could feel was its faint pulse.

Dis felt happy, so ridiculously overjoyed she didn’t even try to stop the tears sliding down her cheeks.

“You will be loved, tiny one,” she whispered. “By me and Vali and Fili. Our family. By the whole swarm. You will be safe with us and cared for and you will be loved.”

 

\---

 

The storm didn’t start until the early morning hours.

Which was surely why Fili’s Adad was sleeping right through it, he decided, frowning at this blatant dereliction of parental duties.

It was mid-September now, autumn sweeping in with cool air and the smell of leaves and all the fairies were super-busy during the rapidly shortening days, trying to get the last of the harvest in and finish building their nests. It was leaving everybody exhausted.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

Fili hated storms with their loud thunder and scary lightning. But it wasn’t why he woke up; he woke up because he felt panicked, like something terrible was about to happen.

_Badump – badump - badumpbadump_

He sat up for a moment, knuckles white on his bed covers and listened, hand pressed against the rabbitting pulse of his heart. He shivered and ducked as another thunder rolled across the valley in a threatening rumble.

His brother was somewhere out there, in this. And he was scared.

Fili didn’t think particularly hard when he picked his heavy, soft squirrel fur, rolled it up and tucked it under his arm, then grabbed Filemon and tucked the pony under his other arm, before listening for a moment longer.

_Badumpbadumpbadumpbadump_

He hesitated, then grabbed Boniface and tucked him under the covers with his dad. He wasn’t sure if Vali’s fear-dispersing powers worked when he wasn’t conscious but the Pony needed protection and Adad shouldn’t be left alone either.

Fili was scared, but his brother needed him. He suppressed a yelp as another lightning cut across the sky and flew out into the darkness and howling wind.

 

\---

 

Vali was beside himself. Fili was nowhere to be found.

Within an hour from waking, he’d established that Fili was nowhere in the immediate surroundings of the fairy camp. He tried to breathe through the cold panic surging through his veins as he flew straight for Thorin’s almost-finished nest.

He needed all the help he could get.

If something happened to Fili, Dis would never forgive him.

 

\---

 

The storm didn’t quite come, or perhaps Fili had simply out-ran it during his frantic flight across the woods.

It was terrifying and the shadows all seemed to twist and loom over him, but he carried on, fuelled on by this odd sense of protectiveness in his chest.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

He wasn’t sure quite where he was going, instead instinctively following the sound of the heartbeat pounding in his ears towards wherever the sound seemed stronger.

At first he tried closing his eyes, as that seemed to help, but having bumped into several wicked, wicked branches, Fili decided that it wasn’t one of his brightest ideas.

Now his forehead hurt and was all sticky with the smeared blood. He was tired, hungry, and worst of all – sleepy. Winter wasn’t very far at all and little fairies like Fili got sleepy extra early (which in Fili’s opinion was completely unfair).

At least his brother seemed to calm down as well, as the thunderstorm rolled in another direction, but there was still a sense of anxiety that wouldn’t leave Fili alone, so he kept going as long as he could.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

He finally half-landed, half-crashed under a large chestnut tree close to noon. He was just going to have a nap, he decided, and then he’d carry on towards mum and the baby. No point dropping off mid-flight like an ickle dwarfling and falling out of the sky.

He carefully tucked himself into the soft squirrel fur, making himself comfy and paying special attention to ensure that no part of him was sticking out. He had Filemon to keep him company, and he was warm and cosy like this, curled up on the patch of moss between the tree’s roots.

_Badump – badump – badump – badump_

The sound of heartbeat lulled the worried little fairy to sleep, the nature extending its quiet protection over one of its own.

 

\---

 

Dis had made a terrible mistake.

She’d been tracking a rabbit, following it from one burrow to the next for what seemed like miles. It was important though – the fur would keep her baby warm and the days were only getting colder, nights turning even more biting.

It was just about possible that she’d conceived too late into the spring, especially if the winter came early this year. There were stories of late babies eventually cut free of their cocoon at the first snowfall, who survived, but it was an enormous risk and Dis wasn’t even letting herself think about it.

She was looking at the ground so much that she didn’t pay enough attention to the sky.

By the time she heard the first thunder, it was too late. The downpour descended before she could make it half a mile back, and it came down like a waterfall, too heavy to even think about staying out in the open, with drops hitting hard enough to bruise.

Dis ducked under the low branches of an old linden tree and paced like a caged animal. Her baby was out there somewhere, all by itself. Her wings were drenched as she flew for as long as she could, trying to cover precious yards, trying to get even a little bit closer.

She snarled, yanked the nearest branch down and started plucking the larger leaves for an umbrella.

 

\---

 

Thorin had virtually every adult fairy up in the air, searching. Fairies looked after their own; they would search until they found him… or until they understood what fate befell the little dwarfling.

Vali flew straight towards the rain and thunder visible on the horizon because if Fili was out there somewhere, his chances of survival were much lower than if he stayed dry. There was less time if he was caught up in the storm, and he needed Vali _now_.

Besides, Fili hated thunderstorms and a thought of his terrified son curled up somewhere all alone was more than Vali could bear.

 

\---

 

Fili woke up just as the sun was setting and it was getting colder.

He was _starving_ , but it wasn’t what woke him.

_Badumpbadumpbadumpbadump_

He heard the thunder a moment later, nearly crawling back under his fur covers. He bit his lip instead and carefully peered at the sky above.

It looked bad, black clouds coming in fast, with sheets of rain visible not too far away.

_Badumpbadumpbadumpbadump_

Fili had to move, _now_.

 

\---

 

Dis couldn’t tell any more if it was rain or tears running down her face. What has taken her an hour flying, was now taking her over six on foot. The sun has set hours ago and with it went the last warming rays that were helping her baby stay alive.

She was beyond exhausted – her wings aching from short little hops she constantly tried to do to clear the obstacles and, if there was a drier patch, just to move a little bit faster.

It was then that she heard a voice for the first time.

 

\---

 

Fili sniffed, walking through the pouring rain and tried to see where he was going. He had no idea where he was, and even if he did, he doubted his surroundings would register.

There was only the steady

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

that kept him going. The squirrel fur wrapped around his back and head protected him a little, but the fairy was beginning to feel like he had no more energy left to move.

It didn’t even cross his mind that perhaps this had been a bad idea. Like all only-children, Fili was used to getting his own way and he wasn’t planning on giving up now.

He _was_ , however, planning on finding out _why_ , exactly, it was necessary to have the baby on the other end of the world and _who_ decided that it was okay to disturb Fili’s peace with his brother’s distress.

And he hoped there was soup. _Hot_ soup, waiting for him.

 

\---

 

It would be unfair to say that Vali found his wife; rather she found him.

“Where is he?!” Came a frantic question as Dis landed heavily in the soggy forest floor. She found him following his voice, she must have heard – “WHERE IS MY SON, VALI?!”

“He was missing when I woke up this morning. I don’t know, I’m sorry. Everyone is searching. I went for the storm because it’s the most dangerous – But he could be just fine. We will find him, Dis. We will find him,” he murmured into her wet, wildly curling hair even as she launched herself at him, even as she hit his chest with her fists over and over again.

She sobbed for a moment and Vali felt his heart breaking into a million little pieces. He failed her. He failed his One.

“Where is the baby?” he asked because he had to. “Is he somewhere here? Has he hatched yet?”

Dis only sobbed harder and it was in that moment that Vali felt the terrifying tendril of dread wrap around his throat.

 

\---

 

Fili stared.

The boulder was the biggest rock he had ever seen. It would be sticking out well over the surrounding forest if he wasn’t lost deep in the mountains, where the ground was uneven anyway. As it was, the boulder sat in a small depression and on a slope so it was well hidden among the creaking greenery.

_Badumpbadumpbadumpbadump_

Fili was 100% certain that only giants, or indeed Valar, could have put it here, tossed like a child’s ball and forgotten. It was covered in soft green moss and there had to be a spring somewhere up there too, because a little trickle at the top turned into a small but spectacular waterfall, slowly but surely working down the rock and creating a small pool at the bottom.

Sticking his head up at an odd angle confirmed also that there was at least one tree at the top – short but broad and very, very old, if the roots practically embracing the bounder and the sprawling crown of leaves were any indication.

Fili squinted. The whole thing looked oddly familiar.

It was very high, which was problematic for a little drawfling, who felt, with all his stubbornness and the wild pounding of his heart, that the top was exactly where he wanted to be. Fili didn’t even trust himself with taller trees as yet, in case he got stuck up there and couldn’t get back down.

_Badumpbadumpbadumpbadump_

He bit his lip and wondered if the rest of his job as an older brother would be this hard. If it was, perhaps there was time still to convince mum that he was fine being the only child after all.

But in his heart of hearts Fili knew somehow that he wouldn't give his brother up for the world. Not now, not ever.

Having been a clever little dwarfling, he chose to walk through the storm rather than fly, staying warm, wrapped in his squirrel fur, so his wings were still dry.

But it was an awfully long way up.

Fili huffed, annoyed at his own indecision. "If I die trying to get to you, I hope they ground you from hatching till death. I think you should know that," he felt he needed to say it out loud, just for the record, in case he _did_ really die.

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

He couldn't tell anymore which pounding heartbeat was his own and which one wasn't. All he knew was that they were both terrified and that it would all somehow be much better once he got to his brother and Amad.

Fili rolled up the soggy squirrel's fur, gave a determined little roar to lend himself courage and flew, trying very hard not to look down.

 

\---

 

"Easy now," Vali was stroking his wife's back, trying to calm her down enough to get some information out of her. As with other things in their relationship, Vali was the voice of reason, who much preferred to _act_ and see if their fears were true, than _despair_ because they _might be_.

"We have to find them!!" That was definitely a snarl and something like a mad glint in his wife's eye, as she pulled herself together with all that Durin determination he so admired about her.

"Dis. As much as I hate to say it, we need to choose which of our children to rescue first. Explain to me why Kili might be in danger. He must have been left on his own before while you hunted."

"The weather turned," Dis simply said, shaking her wings out, as if she could dry them like that. "The cold could hurt the baby. And it always seems upset during the storms - I like to be there during such times."

Vali blinked as a preposterous thought appeared in his mind. He thought back to all those times when Fili used to stare into the distance with an unreadable expression on his face, and claim that his brother was - happy, lonely, sleepy or upset - whatever the case may be. It still made Vali shiver today.

 _Surely not_.

Not during a storm. Fili _hated_ storms.

"Lead the way," he said, because there wasn't time for explanations. "Fili is a bright little dwarfling, he's got better chances than an unhatched babe. Besides, I have an idea just where he might be..."

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC


	42. Galloping Ponies - Part 3

_ _

 

 

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

For the first long couple of minutes Fili could do absolutely nothing but pant and shake as he fought his hysteria.

He'd done it. He made it to the top.

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

He was trapped here now because he would never ever, not _ever_ fly back down, but he was safe for now.

Then the lightning hit somewhere close and Fili screamed at the top of his lungs and scrambled to his feet, throwing wild glances around to try and find somewhere to hide.

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

What he saw made him promptly sit right back down again, head spinning.

The oak tree was enormous and very, very old. Its roots literally embraced the entire boulder in a twisting web of gnarls and little niches, filled to the brim with crunchy golden leaves and acorns.

In the hollow at its bottom, slightly sheltered from the elements but still dripping wet, something pale moved sluggishly.

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

Fili didn't know when or why exactly he started using his Gift, but he could see Life, sprawling and beautiful all around him. The oak might have been old, but it was _thriving_ up here, with the best access to the sun, rooted firmly in the sheer rock, with the unusual access to water that the boulder offered. And at the heart of it all a different kind of Life glowed with blinding brightness.

Fili flew.

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

The cocoon had been somehow grafted into the tree. He could see the delicate tendrils pulsing with what may or may not have been blood slipping seamlessly into the exposed wood, which unusually for this time of the year, seemed to be sprouting several brand new, tiny green leaves. Fili, with all his young fairy senses, couldn't tell where one ended and the other one began, and yet he sensed that the tree and whatever lived in the cocoon were distinctly separate.

 _His little brother_ , he realised, with utmost certainty, and felt the rush of protectiveness swell within him again.

_BADUMPBADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP_

The cocoon was big enough that Fili couldn't wrap his arms around it, as he rushed to carefully tuck it in his squirrel fur. He had to tug and pull various edges which kept slipping until he finally gave up and simply tied the two corners together around the top.

"There you go, nice and warm now," he whispered, feeling somehow better now that he’d finally achieved what he set out to do in the first place, but also a bit grossed out from the wet, membranous texture of the sack.

_BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP_

It felt odd, like touching a part of a living thing that was never meant to be exposed, and he wondered why his mother didn't keep it nicely bundled up and warm, like she usually kept Fili, especially in this weather...

He froze.

Amad.

"Amad!!"

She had to be somewhere here - Adad said that she was staying with the baby!! Unless... what if something happened to her?! She was meant to be _with the baby_!!

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP!!_

He flew around the entire boulder top, checking all the nooks and crannies, with every passing second slipping closer and closer to bursting into the terrified, heartbroken sobs.

"Amaaaaaaaaaad!!" He wailed, rain on his face mixing with hot tears.

There was no answer.

But there was a quiet, muffled sound of distress, which shot through Fili like a spark of electricity.

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

He made himself come back to the cocoon. If he was scared, how much worse it must have been for his baby brother who hasn't even hatched yet? Hatching surely required Amad, right?

Fili sniffed and wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

 _Older brothers have the superpower to make bad things go away,_ he remembered his Adad saying. Amad's disappearance was surely a bad thing. So maybe if he was the best older brother possible, she would come back - he reasoned with flawless logic.

_BADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP_

Fili was going to wait. Either Amad would return and find them both, or his brother was going to hatch and Fili would take him to Adad. And then he would have his breakdown, the _biggest_ breakdown in the history of breakdowns, the sort with screaming and crying and wailing, and he wouldn't stop until someone found him his mother.

After all, he'd been fairly sure that it was the grown-ups who were meant to be looking after the dwarflings and not the other way round! Bom, Mr Bombur's oldest son, had four younger siblings and Fili and never seen him pull the sort of stunts Fili was forced to pull since last night.

_BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP_

He didn't realise that in the course of his dark musings, Fili had somehow tucked himself between the cocoon and the edge of the squirrel fur, until something bumped against his shoulder.

"Shhhh... I've got this," he told his brother distractedly and gently pressed back. It just felt like the right thing to do.

_BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP_

Something in the cocoon stirred and the next thing Fili knew, he'd been kicked in the ribs.

"Owww!!" he hissed and rounded on the writhing sack. "Listen, I miss her too!" he added, reigning in the urge to kick the cocoon right back.

It was his _little brother_. Somehow, this strange contraption of a cocoon contained the life that Fili had been so excited about. And that life, right now, needed him.

_BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP_

The realisation made him bold and he carefully lifted his hand to press it gently against the wobbly membrane. He just needed his brother to know that he was safe with Fili. He just needed him to trust him, so he wouldn't be so scared.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when a slightly smaller hand lined up with his and pressed back.

_Badump - badump - badump - badump_

"Hi," he whispered, wide-eyed and hoarse with emotions. "I'm... I'm your brother. I'm Fili. Fili... at your service," he added, remembering his manners.

He tried to bow automatically, which only resulted in him pressing his forehead into the cocoon wall. To his surprise, something pressed back.

Now that felt right, he thought, closing his eyes and feeling some of the tension ease from his shoulders. “You’re even littler than I am,” he murmured, marvelling at the tiny hand, which had to be quite deliberately placed against his own. Don’t worry, I’ll look after you. I’ll protect you from now on,” he promised.

_Badump - badump - badump - badump_

He could practically feel… _something_ between them. A subtle connection, which just seemed to _fit_.

Then the traitorous little fingers shifted to the right and curled, grabbing his hand and poking five round holes in the membrane of the cocoon.

"Hyyyyyy!!" Fili yelped and for some reason thought about the look on Adad's face when Fili presented him with their new curtains, which he'd decorated with pretty cutouts made with knives.

Then another hand tore a sizeable hole through the membrane to his left, spewing fluid everywhere and Fili's panicked mind supplied that no amount of darning would fix that one.

_BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP - BADUMP_

"Fili!!" a shrill female voice cut through the air and _now_ Fili knew he was in trouble.

In the next moment, several things happened simultaneously:

One small arm reached out, wrapped around Fili's shoulder and landed in his wing fluff, grabbed at it, and held fast.

The rest of Fili's sibling then used him as an anchor and hauled itself furiously, ripping the remainder of the cocoon into shreds and covering Fili in a burst of fluid.

 _I've ruined my mother's baby_ , flashed in Fili's mind, before he stumbled back in horror and promptly fell over, landing heavily with his brother still firmly attached into a pile of crinkling, golden leaves.

"Kili!!" his Amad screamed and now she sounded terrified, which somehow didn't stop Fili thinking with entirely inappropriate irritation that she got his name _wrong_.

Eventually self-preservation instinct kicked in and Fili spluttered, trying to clear the viscous fluid out of his mouth and eyes. When he finally managed to blink them clean, the first thing he saw was a huge pair of dark hazel-coloured ones staring into his from _very close indeed_.

His brother slow-blinked at him and Fili felt himself do the same.

_Badump - badump - badump - badump_

Then Fili's Adad, who somehow materialised here out of the blue as well, landed nearby, took perhaps half a dozen shaky footsteps towards them and did what _any_ grown male fairy would have done in his place - fainted into a heap.

Everything seemed to stay still for one long moment, with only rain hitting the leaves all around them.

"I love you to distraction, Vali, son of Kholi," Dis sighed heavily and sank to the ground next to the three most important men in her life, "but Mahal help me, some days you are absolutely useless."

Above Fili, his brother looked from their mother back to Fili's face and parroted, with all seriousness and identical inflex, in that annoying way that all young fairies had when learning new words:

"I love you."

He grinned, delighted with himself.

Then he frowned.

Then he coughed and vomited even more of that disgusting fluid right into Fili's hair.

Fili had had enough and did what _any_ little dwarfling would have done in his place - he had his breakdown.

 

\---

 

By the time everyone was washed, dried with the flannels Dis kept in her cave, and bundled up in warm blankets, it was night.

Vali started a fire and Dis brought out the food, which to her amusement vanished from Fili's plate as fast as it appeared. His brother seemed more choosy, poking at the plate full of fruit for a moment, before picking a blueberry and attempting to apply most of it to his face in one go. Fruit was the closest thing to the nourishment provided by nature to an unhatched fairy and it made for perfect baby food for those first few months.

They were both asleep by now, exhausted from their ordeal, and wrapped up in each other like a pair of kittens. Fili, who had been known to kick his bedding apart to yank a twig or a pebble from underneath it before he could settle down for the night, now didn't seem to mind a sizeable dwarfling, full of knees and elbows, jammed firmly into his side.

Kili didn’t like being left alone, not even for a moment. He’d raise an alarm as soon as he wasn’t safely tucked into Dis’, Vali’s or indeed Fili’s arms, complete with screaming and crying. For a time they played the ‘pass the baby’ game as Dis organised the beddings for her unexpected guests, until Fili got his hands on his brother and the two snuggled up by the fire with the elder murmuring things at the younger, who seemed to listen with rapt fascination.

When Fili yawned hugely and flopped tiredly into his now ready bed, Kili mimicked him exactly, never detaching from his brother. Fili stared at him with a mixture of exasperation and fondness, which was quickly becoming his default look, but didn’t protest when Kili clung to him and wriggled closer. Instead he gave his parents a long-suffering look and carefully slipped one arm into the explosion of fluff on his brother’s back with his brand new, super-delicate wings, and closed his eyes.

In the next moment they were both out.

At least they were both safe and sound, she reminded herself.

"You named him Kili," Vali smiled at her across the fire, from where he was drying Kili's toy pony, which, now that the boys were asleep, had been rather savagely tied onto a stick so it could be exposed to more heat.

"K, after your father," she agreed and moved to curl up into his side. "Fili had an F after my little brother, I thought it would be fitting."

"He'd be honoured," her husband agreed. "But it will get confusing, you know."

"Nah..." She grinned in a way that was clearly inherited by her youngest. "They both already react in unison."

"That they do," Vali nodded with a thoughtful expression on his face, but if he felt there was more to that point, he didn't feel the need to share just yet.

 

\---


End file.
